Wilderness Redemption Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Into the Storm"Shenanigans on the frontier
16 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a great story and I have been waiting a long while to see this post. You have a great knack for writing western. Do try to post at least once a week, on Sunday, so I have six stars to give you. You lucked out today! ha ha
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2020
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This is a great story and I have been waiting a long while to see this post. You have a great knack for writing western. Do try to post at least once a week, on Sunday, so I have six stars to give you. You lucked out today! ha ha
Comment Written 03-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much for honoring me with a six star rating. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from robyn corum
Earl,
Glad to see you're still working on this one. *smile* I do enjoy any kind of well-written historical novel and this one certainly fits that bill.
Notes:
1.) "I said I did(,) didn't I? You callin' me a liar?"
2.) "N-n-n-no(, m)a'am(,) I wasn't callin' you a liar," he stammered.
3.) "You best not or I'll tan you good, (y)'hear(,) Caleb?"
4.) "Yes(, m)a'am."
--> hmmm... I've corrected these ma'ams, but some folks might not agree. You do what you think as long as it's consistent throughout the book
5.) Originally he'd moved his wife and three children there
--> Originally he'd moved his wife and three children to this area North of Pittsburgh (etc.?) maybe be a little more specific
6.) "It's the God's honest truth and you know it, Doo(. H)ow's your pa?"
7.) "Mr. Finnerty, could I get some water from your well(?) I'm parched(.)" Janie asked.
8.) they's a jug in the springhouse which'll wet your whistle,(") Ezra said,
9.) JACKIE."
"YEAH, PA," the boy responded.
"FETCH US SOME RABBITS FOR SUPPER," Ezra hollered.
"COMING RIGHT UP, PA."
--> Jackie(!)"
Yeah, PA?)" the boy responded.
"Fetch us some rabbits for supper!" Ezra hollered.
"Coming right up, Pa!"
--> editors, as a rule, do not like full caps. Consider italicizing OR letting your punctuation - as here - do the work.
10.) uncorked it with his teeth, the(n) used the crook of his elbow to tilt the jug for a drink.
11.) "Here ya go(,) boys, if that don't cut the trail dust(,) I don't know what will."
12.) "That's all right, Doo, there's plenty more(.) I just run a batch last week," Ezra said.
13.) forest and Jack unlimbered his (bow) and nocked an arrow.
--> making sure it's not 'notched'
14.) Jackie had already [knocked] another arrow and let it fly at another cottontail.
--> two spellings
15.) Janie took the bow and [knocked] an arrow.
--> spelling?
I also really enjoy the language and dialogue you're using that brings this time and these characters more to life. Fun!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Earl,
Glad to see you're still working on this one. *smile* I do enjoy any kind of well-written historical novel and this one certainly fits that bill.
Notes:
1.) "I said I did(,) didn't I? You callin' me a liar?"
2.) "N-n-n-no(, m)a'am(,) I wasn't callin' you a liar," he stammered.
3.) "You best not or I'll tan you good, (y)'hear(,) Caleb?"
4.) "Yes(, m)a'am."
--> hmmm... I've corrected these ma'ams, but some folks might not agree. You do what you think as long as it's consistent throughout the book
5.) Originally he'd moved his wife and three children there
--> Originally he'd moved his wife and three children to this area North of Pittsburgh (etc.?) maybe be a little more specific
6.) "It's the God's honest truth and you know it, Doo(. H)ow's your pa?"
7.) "Mr. Finnerty, could I get some water from your well(?) I'm parched(.)" Janie asked.
8.) they's a jug in the springhouse which'll wet your whistle,(") Ezra said,
9.) JACKIE."
"YEAH, PA," the boy responded.
"FETCH US SOME RABBITS FOR SUPPER," Ezra hollered.
"COMING RIGHT UP, PA."
--> Jackie(!)"
Yeah, PA?)" the boy responded.
"Fetch us some rabbits for supper!" Ezra hollered.
"Coming right up, Pa!"
--> editors, as a rule, do not like full caps. Consider italicizing OR letting your punctuation - as here - do the work.
10.) uncorked it with his teeth, the(n) used the crook of his elbow to tilt the jug for a drink.
11.) "Here ya go(,) boys, if that don't cut the trail dust(,) I don't know what will."
12.) "That's all right, Doo, there's plenty more(.) I just run a batch last week," Ezra said.
13.) forest and Jack unlimbered his (bow) and nocked an arrow.
--> making sure it's not 'notched'
14.) Jackie had already [knocked] another arrow and let it fly at another cottontail.
--> two spellings
15.) Janie took the bow and [knocked] an arrow.
--> spelling?
I also really enjoy the language and dialogue you're using that brings this time and these characters more to life. Fun!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thanks for all the pointers. I went back and fixed them. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work and sticking with the story.
Comment from BethShelby
I really enjoyed your story. I think I read a chapter before but I don't get notified when you post so I guess I'm going to need to become your fan. I like the way you make the story come alive with your use of dialogue and the lingo of the day.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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I really enjoyed your story. I think I read a chapter before but I don't get notified when you post so I guess I'm going to need to become your fan. I like the way you make the story come alive with your use of dialogue and the lingo of the day.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment from lyenochka
When I heard about the snares, I was hoping that you'd give us a hunting scene and sure enough, you showed us that Jackie and Janie could get some dinner. But dressing those furry critters would take a long time.
Great job telling this part of the story.
One typo:
toted the rfles across last month?" (rifles)
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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When I heard about the snares, I was hoping that you'd give us a hunting scene and sure enough, you showed us that Jackie and Janie could get some dinner. But dressing those furry critters would take a long time.
Great job telling this part of the story.
One typo:
toted the rfles across last month?" (rifles)
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Good catch on the mispelling. Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment from poetwatch
You done did it, Earl. :) Why I could see them rabbits a'cooking. Ain't missed a chapter yet. You pen good westerns and I like to learn to write like you. So keep writing and I'll keep a'reading. We got a deal, Earl. :) Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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You done did it, Earl. :) Why I could see them rabbits a'cooking. Ain't missed a chapter yet. You pen good westerns and I like to learn to write like you. So keep writing and I'll keep a'reading. We got a deal, Earl. :) Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment from LJbutterfly
WOW! This was my first experience reading a chapter from your book. As I read, I felt as though I was sitting in a movie theater. The descriptions were detailed and authentic. The dialog and dialect were genuine. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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WOW! This was my first experience reading a chapter from your book. As I read, I felt as though I was sitting in a movie theater. The descriptions were detailed and authentic. The dialog and dialect were genuine. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
I think this is the first of your work that I've read.
I found your installment interesting and it kept my attention very well. You certainly seem to know a lot about that time in our country. I wonder if you have relatives that have passed stories down.
The language sounded authentic, like it really is how people spoke back then. You did a good job developing the characters.
Nice job.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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I think this is the first of your work that I've read.
I found your installment interesting and it kept my attention very well. You certainly seem to know a lot about that time in our country. I wonder if you have relatives that have passed stories down.
The language sounded authentic, like it really is how people spoke back then. You did a good job developing the characters.
Nice job.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Earl, do not despair I am not going to nitpick one bit of grammar in this fascinating epic story. I enjoy your use of frontier vernacular too much !
Keep working on this story, it will make a terrific book someday .
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Dear Earl, do not despair I am not going to nitpick one bit of grammar in this fascinating epic story. I enjoy your use of frontier vernacular too much !
Keep working on this story, it will make a terrific book someday .
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment from roof35
This is a good western and I like your frontier vernacular. It fits perfectly. Your illustration pairs well. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to future chapters.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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This is a good western and I like your frontier vernacular. It fits perfectly. Your illustration pairs well. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to future chapters.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter Earl. It was nice to read about Ezra and Jack. It was a good surprise that Jack and Janie hit it off so well. It isn't any wonder that Janie was worried at the news about Tyler McGraw and shared that worry with Jack. The other members of the team definitely need to know. Great job. Well done and very much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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This was a great continuation chapter Earl. It was nice to read about Ezra and Jack. It was a good surprise that Jack and Janie hit it off so well. It isn't any wonder that Janie was worried at the news about Tyler McGraw and shared that worry with Jack. The other members of the team definitely need to know. Great job. Well done and very much enjoyed.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work. You stay safe and stay healthy.
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you are so welcome Earl, blessings.
