She Stood All Alone
Haiku poetry11 total reviews
Comment from Mistydawn
This could be a great start to a story. Maybe use it to tell what took place around her? Your poem is well-written, it paints a vivid picture in the reader's mind.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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This could be a great start to a story. Maybe use it to tell what took place around her? Your poem is well-written, it paints a vivid picture in the reader's mind.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from jaded831
Nature is perfection, the tree is truly a beauty, and the lake is calming and nourishment for the tree. The art work is beautiful. The fact that you created them both, shows everyone God has truly blessed you.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Nature is perfection, the tree is truly a beauty, and the lake is calming and nourishment for the tree. The art work is beautiful. The fact that you created them both, shows everyone God has truly blessed you.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review
Comment from lyenochka
That tree is really a striking beauty! A very nicely constructed haiku, Patricia! So glad that you are able to post again. Hope you are doing well and your eyes are feeling better.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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That tree is really a striking beauty! A very nicely constructed haiku, Patricia! So glad that you are able to post again. Hope you are doing well and your eyes are feeling better.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review
Comment from juliaSjames
A beautiful write that corresponds with your exquisite artwork.
There's a sense of sadness in the beauty that coincides with the Japanese ideal of wabi sabi which finds beauty in rustic simplicity, aged and incomplete things.
But without the picture the reader cannot know that you're describing the tree.
If you want the poem to be read in its own merits rather than as an ekphrastic write I suggest a reformulation
she stands rooted
beside cool crystal lake -
solitary beauty
Of course the decision is yours.
Good luck in the contest..
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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A beautiful write that corresponds with your exquisite artwork.
There's a sense of sadness in the beauty that coincides with the Japanese ideal of wabi sabi which finds beauty in rustic simplicity, aged and incomplete things.
But without the picture the reader cannot know that you're describing the tree.
If you want the poem to be read in its own merits rather than as an ekphrastic write I suggest a reformulation
she stands rooted
beside cool crystal lake -
solitary beauty
Of course the decision is yours.
Good luck in the contest..
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review and suggestions.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the solitary tree at the water side that is a striking beauty to make the mind acknowledge the excellence of the view. The sight of something like this always triggers the muse.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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A very well-written haiku about the solitary tree at the water side that is a striking beauty to make the mind acknowledge the excellence of the view. The sight of something like this always triggers the muse.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your concise ekphrastic poem is well written and appealing. (I say ekphrastic because I wouldn't know what the poem was about without the artwork.) Good use of personification
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Your concise ekphrastic poem is well written and appealing. (I say ekphrastic because I wouldn't know what the poem was about without the artwork.) Good use of personification
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Joan E.
I have not read one of your haikus before and enjoyed your 5-7-5 format. I could visualize her "beauty" beside the "cool" lake. Best wishes in the contest and thanks for sharing another of your lovely paintings- Joan
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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I have not read one of your haikus before and enjoyed your 5-7-5 format. I could visualize her "beauty" beside the "cool" lake. Best wishes in the contest and thanks for sharing another of your lovely paintings- Joan
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from judiverse
Beautiful artwork. Your alliteration with "cool" and "crystal" is excellent. It presents a calm atmosphere. I do think you need to explain who "she" is. We see the picture, but you might include it in your poem to be clear. Excellent last line. You might eliminate "a" as you don't have to have 17 syllables in a Haiku. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Beautiful artwork. Your alliteration with "cool" and "crystal" is excellent. It presents a calm atmosphere. I do think you need to explain who "she" is. We see the picture, but you might include it in your poem to be clear. Excellent last line. You might eliminate "a" as you don't have to have 17 syllables in a Haiku. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review.
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel
Hi Pat!
Your poem goes so well with the artwork! I really like it, as well as the phrase "cool crystal lake." And you bring it all together with the final line "a striking beauty."
Well done!
Susan
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Hi Pat!
Your poem goes so well with the artwork! I really like it, as well as the phrase "cool crystal lake." And you bring it all together with the final line "a striking beauty."
Well done!
Susan
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you for a lovely review.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A woman of many talents. I see your name on the very excellent painting.
The tree that stands alone has more beauty than a tree that gets lost in a grove of the same tree.
No doubt that this is what caught your eye with the words you wrote.
Very well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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A woman of many talents. I see your name on the very excellent painting.
The tree that stands alone has more beauty than a tree that gets lost in a grove of the same tree.
No doubt that this is what caught your eye with the words you wrote.
Very well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you for a lovely review.
