I wonder now
Admitting to a nursing home.32 total reviews
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are heartfelt, sad, descriptive and creative. Thank you
for the author's notes - it must have been a difficult time. I found the
words of this poem expressing deep emotion. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes well with this poem.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
  |
The author's words are heartfelt, sad, descriptive and creative. Thank you
for the author's notes - it must have been a difficult time. I found the
words of this poem expressing deep emotion. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes well with this poem.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
-
Thank you Harmony13 for the kind review and comments.
It is appreciated.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
Nice writing so very sad though. Sometimes you have to do what's best for ones safely. It must been so hard. I wonder if we were right in sending you away. Well done. Very beautiful photo.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
|
Nice writing so very sad though. Sometimes you have to do what's best for ones safely. It must been so hard. I wonder if we were right in sending you away. Well done. Very beautiful photo.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
-
Thank you for your review and kind words
Mary
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is such a sad write Mary and I sympathise with your situation, it is hard to know the right decision and we are always filled with regret when someone close to us has gone. There is no guilt, we make the best decisions we can at the time and hope it is the right one, a sensitive write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
|
This is such a sad write Mary and I sympathise with your situation, it is hard to know the right decision and we are always filled with regret when someone close to us has gone. There is no guilt, we make the best decisions we can at the time and hope it is the right one, a sensitive write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
-
Thank you Dolly for your kind words and review.
Mary
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a very hard place to be with the older generation. It is so hard to know what is best for them as well as ourselves. Even after the decision is made, we still wonder.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
|
This is a very hard place to be with the older generation. It is so hard to know what is best for them as well as ourselves. Even after the decision is made, we still wonder.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
-
Thank you Rebecca for the review and comments.
Mary
Comment from lyenochka
Was this your mother you were writing about? That is so hard and I like your repetition of "I wonder if we were right in sending you away." That's something that would always haunt us when making that kind of decision. Sounds like she had some dementia and that could be dangerous for her own safety if you had to leave her alone.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
|
Was this your mother you were writing about? That is so hard and I like your repetition of "I wonder if we were right in sending you away." That's something that would always haunt us when making that kind of decision. Sounds like she had some dementia and that could be dangerous for her own safety if you had to leave her alone.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
-
This was my grandmother Winnie
She lived with us after my mom died when I was 7. Thank you for your review and comments. I should have identified her but since I wrote about her earlier. I made a bad assumption
Thank you
Mary
-
Sorry. I forgot about that. I do remember now about your mom passing away so suddenly. What a hard childhood you had.
Comment from lancellot
Sometimes the right thing to do is necessarily a good thing do, but is still the best thing to do. I know that sounds off, but life isn't perfect and neither are our choices.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
|
Sometimes the right thing to do is necessarily a good thing do, but is still the best thing to do. I know that sounds off, but life isn't perfect and neither are our choices.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
-
Thank you for your review and thoughts.
Take care and regards,
Mary
Comment from equestrik
This is an extremely heartbreaking write and it must have been so heartbreaking to not only make that decision but to not know if it was right so it continues to haunt you. I am so sorry. Peace to you.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
|
This is an extremely heartbreaking write and it must have been so heartbreaking to not only make that decision but to not know if it was right so it continues to haunt you. I am so sorry. Peace to you.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
-
Thank you for your kind thought and review.
Take care and regards,
Mary
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This piece vividly and emotionally describes a situation that MANY can relate to. My mother and my father had to put their widowed mothers in nursing homes. They really had no choice--both working, raising four kids, etc.--and neither of my grandmothers could take care of herself. I know they wondered sometimes if they'd done the right thing. This is a very moving piece.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
|
This piece vividly and emotionally describes a situation that MANY can relate to. My mother and my father had to put their widowed mothers in nursing homes. They really had no choice--both working, raising four kids, etc.--and neither of my grandmothers could take care of herself. I know they wondered sometimes if they'd done the right thing. This is a very moving piece.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
-
Thank you Janice for your review and kind thoughts.
Take care and regards,
Mary
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow. This is powerful. I am coming to my own conclusions on the merit of nursing homes, but each person has their own journey on how they perceive the choices they made and make. You dare to ask the tough questions and I highly respect that. I recognize through this poem and your notes afterward how difficult the decision was for you. To wonder, to ponder whether we made correct choices in regard to anything in life is risky and I might suggest you give yourself a break at a certain point and know you did the best you could under the circumstances you found yourself in. The poem is well thought out, and I think the repetitive line of questioning yourself is poignant and powerful beyond measure. The presentation works well with the stark background and lettering and the photo of your relative showing your love for her as you smile at her. Very moving and heartfelt.
Take care,
Jesse
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
|
Wow. This is powerful. I am coming to my own conclusions on the merit of nursing homes, but each person has their own journey on how they perceive the choices they made and make. You dare to ask the tough questions and I highly respect that. I recognize through this poem and your notes afterward how difficult the decision was for you. To wonder, to ponder whether we made correct choices in regard to anything in life is risky and I might suggest you give yourself a break at a certain point and know you did the best you could under the circumstances you found yourself in. The poem is well thought out, and I think the repetitive line of questioning yourself is poignant and powerful beyond measure. The presentation works well with the stark background and lettering and the photo of your relative showing your love for her as you smile at her. Very moving and heartfelt.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
-
Thank you Jesse for your kind review. It is appreciate it and also your kindness in your response.
Mary
-
It was my pleasure, Mary.
Jesse
Comment from LisaMay
Your repeat line "I wonder if we were right in sending you away" shows the tragedy that many families feel guilty about how to care for aging parents whose behaviour has become problematic, especially when finances are a major consideration in what care is available. Being at the end of your rope is a time when you have to take care of your own emotional well being, and you just have to do the best you can do, and make difficult but practical decisions. I feel for you. I looked after my father at home for as long as I could, but eventually had to put him in a nursing home (he had Alzheimers Disease)... and I felt wretched about that, but also a sense of relief that the stress was lessened.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
|
Your repeat line "I wonder if we were right in sending you away" shows the tragedy that many families feel guilty about how to care for aging parents whose behaviour has become problematic, especially when finances are a major consideration in what care is available. Being at the end of your rope is a time when you have to take care of your own emotional well being, and you just have to do the best you can do, and make difficult but practical decisions. I feel for you. I looked after my father at home for as long as I could, but eventually had to put him in a nursing home (he had Alzheimers Disease)... and I felt wretched about that, but also a sense of relief that the stress was lessened.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
-
Thank you LisaMay for your understanding and I am sorry that you too had to make the decision.
In Nana's time in the 1970's, the nursing homes were not what they are today. The place she was had an open barracks and a common bathroom with a number of stalls. She died in one of those stalls.
What haunts me today, it seemed her symptoms came suddenly. While we labeled it dementia but was it? I will never have an answer.
-
Not being able to understand something and trying to inspect it in terms of what was happening back then, and what might have been possible today will always be fraught with emotional overload. Be gentle with yourself.
-
Thank you LisaMay
