Halloween Party
When does the fun begin?24 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Perfect setting. The reader is leaning forward: "he truck was so close that it tapped my rear bumper, sending me into panic mode. " Is this a forshadowing? "Satisfied that I had waited a reasonable amount of time," What a wonderful twist for the ending. Very clever A+
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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Perfect setting. The reader is leaning forward: "he truck was so close that it tapped my rear bumper, sending me into panic mode. " Is this a forshadowing? "Satisfied that I had waited a reasonable amount of time," What a wonderful twist for the ending. Very clever A+
Comment Written 17-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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Wow Liz! Thank you for looking back, deep into my portfolio and finding this story. I appreciate your encouraging comments and SIX bright, beautiful stars. Thanks again.
Blessings, LJButrerfly
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I like to go to the beginning & work my way forward.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh! That was a surprise ending!! Yikes! You seem to really know how to scare people. The fear about the Ram driver was really well done. And just as we worried for the narrator's safety, we realized that she wasn't the one we should be worried about.
One formatting nit:
in the movie, Bat Man. ( Batman ) It's one word and I think movie titles are supposed to be italicized.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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Oh! That was a surprise ending!! Yikes! You seem to really know how to scare people. The fear about the Ram driver was really well done. And just as we worried for the narrator's safety, we realized that she wasn't the one we should be worried about.
One formatting nit:
in the movie, Bat Man. ( Batman ) It's one word and I think movie titles are supposed to be italicized.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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Wow! How did you ever find this story? I posted it October 2020, the first month I became an upgraded member of Fanstory. You are right about Batman. It's one word and should have been italicized. I haven't looked at this story in 2 years. I don't know how I overlooked that. Thank you. I'm going back to edit.
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I had to go back some to find a post I hadn't reviewed already. 😂
I see you are good with the horror genre. I think there's a club for that.
Comment from juliaSjames
This is one scary story. You keep the reader fascinated by the twista and turns on the road and at the end. There's no clue that the protagonist is a monster so the ending is satisfactorily shocking.
Well written and structured. I think this will be recognized by the contest committee.
Have a safe and blessed night
Julia
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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This is one scary story. You keep the reader fascinated by the twista and turns on the road and at the end. There's no clue that the protagonist is a monster so the ending is satisfactorily shocking.
Well written and structured. I think this will be recognized by the contest committee.
Have a safe and blessed night
Julia
Comment Written 02-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020
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Hi Julia,
Thank you for your review, comments, and generous stars. I appreciate your taking time to read my writing. Blessings to you.
Comment from Rhianna Robins
I love the suspense you created and the magnificent twist at the end.
I really enjoyed reading this short story.
Well done, Lorraine - I look forward to reading more of your work! :)
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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I love the suspense you created and the magnificent twist at the end.
I really enjoyed reading this short story.
Well done, Lorraine - I look forward to reading more of your work! :)
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Hi Rhianna,
Thank you for your review and comments. I look forward to reading more of your work as well. I appreciate your giving my story six stars.
Comment from roof35
This is a terrific entry for the Halloween contest. I would give you six stars if I had one left. They just do not give me enough sixers for all the wonderful writers on this site. Good luck in the contest. I suspect you may win.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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This is a terrific entry for the Halloween contest. I would give you six stars if I had one left. They just do not give me enough sixers for all the wonderful writers on this site. Good luck in the contest. I suspect you may win.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your vote of confidence. I appreciate your review, comments, and stars.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Lorraine Jackson,
Nice piece of Horror and Thriller Flash Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end and carrying the story in an interesting way to its climax.
Best of Luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Hello Lorraine Jackson,
Nice piece of Horror and Thriller Flash Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end and carrying the story in an interesting way to its climax.
Best of Luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you RPSaxena. I am honored that you took time to read my posting. I appreciate your review, comments, and stars.
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Lorraine Jackson, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from pome lover
Wow! That is some story! You not only kept the suspense going, up until the end but added a total surprise, to boot - putting the shoe on the other foot. Very good.
I do have a question, though, about "thick, green claws drawn"- I thought drawn meant drawn in, - in fact, I just Googled it and it said "a cat 'draws' or 'draws in' or 'retracts' its claws as opposed to 'protract' or 'extend' them. So, I guess you mean extended? (aren't you thrilled that I looked it up? :)
Anyway - great story!
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Wow! That is some story! You not only kept the suspense going, up until the end but added a total surprise, to boot - putting the shoe on the other foot. Very good.
I do have a question, though, about "thick, green claws drawn"- I thought drawn meant drawn in, - in fact, I just Googled it and it said "a cat 'draws' or 'draws in' or 'retracts' its claws as opposed to 'protract' or 'extend' them. So, I guess you mean extended? (aren't you thrilled that I looked it up? :)
Anyway - great story!
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Wow! Thank you for looking that up. I was thinking of the expression, "guns drawn," which is incorrect. I'm going to change that to "extended," which I like much better. Thank you for taking the time to read, review, award five stars, and research. :) I'm AM thrilled.
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you are most welcome.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh! That was one heck of a twist at the end! I was waiting for the man in the truck to be the villian of the story, and you turned it on his ear! I liked this one, well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Oh! That was one heck of a twist at the end! I was waiting for the man in the truck to be the villian of the story, and you turned it on his ear! I liked this one, well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you Sandra for your review, comments, and stars. I appreciate your time.
Comment from estory
Nice job working that twist, and creating that shock at the end. You had us believing the narrator was being stalked, tailgated and being run off the road. But the joke is on him... the narrator is a vampire, and once confronted with the scare joke, she turns tails on him and bites into his neck. The twist was perfectly executed and the shock was there. estory.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Nice job working that twist, and creating that shock at the end. You had us believing the narrator was being stalked, tailgated and being run off the road. But the joke is on him... the narrator is a vampire, and once confronted with the scare joke, she turns tails on him and bites into his neck. The twist was perfectly executed and the shock was there. estory.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you for reading my story and for your review. I'm glad it was clear enough for you to get the picture. Thank you also for your generous stars.
Comment from equestrik
This is a scary story perfect for a Halloween scare. Good writing and a great haunting moon photo to go with your writing and add to the creepiness.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
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This is a scary story perfect for a Halloween scare. Good writing and a great haunting moon photo to go with your writing and add to the creepiness.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your review, comments, and stars. I'm glad you used the words "scare, haunting, and creepiness." That's exactly what I was going for.
