Mabel Anne
the perfect solution7 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written dialogue only piece. Many people will do crazy things to get something for free. At the end the free service is not even on standard quality and then you are in even bigger trouble.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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A very well-written dialogue only piece. Many people will do crazy things to get something for free. At the end the free service is not even on standard quality and then you are in even bigger trouble.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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very true. you get what you pay for.
I really just wrote this as a bit of silliness to lighten the day.
Thanks, Sandra, for reading and for your comments.
Comment from equestrik
Interesting write for the dialogue only prompt. You found an interesting way to make a point as well as making it an interesting and funny conversation.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Interesting write for the dialogue only prompt. You found an interesting way to make a point as well as making it an interesting and funny conversation.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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thank you!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You may want to check the rules on this one. As this is dialogue only, there shouldn't be any tags of any description. You need to delete the names at the beginning of each line otherwise you'll run the high probability of being disqualified. It's an easy enough fix if in the first two pieces you call the other's name then the natural to and fro makes it clear who is speaking.
"sigh. Yes, you could, but it's not advisable." - using sigh doesn't work here. It's a direction, not dialogue.
for a psychological problem, and two..."- a dash may be better in this instance. It signifies a more abrupt interruption rather than the ellipses which signals a tailing off.
Unfortunately I actually know a few too many folk like this! lol It's a nice little piece.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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Hi there,
You may want to check the rules on this one. As this is dialogue only, there shouldn't be any tags of any description. You need to delete the names at the beginning of each line otherwise you'll run the high probability of being disqualified. It's an easy enough fix if in the first two pieces you call the other's name then the natural to and fro makes it clear who is speaking.
"sigh. Yes, you could, but it's not advisable." - using sigh doesn't work here. It's a direction, not dialogue.
for a psychological problem, and two..."- a dash may be better in this instance. It signifies a more abrupt interruption rather than the ellipses which signals a tailing off.
Unfortunately I actually know a few too many folk like this! lol It's a nice little piece.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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thank you so much!. I fixed it - hopefully.
Comment from L. Kalere
Very cute story, with clear dialog. You offered a unique (albeit questionable) solution to current problems with a sense of humor. Good luck in the dialogue only contest.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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Very cute story, with clear dialog. You offered a unique (albeit questionable) solution to current problems with a sense of humor. Good luck in the dialogue only contest.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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a little silliness today, for me, is calming.
Thank you for your comments.
Comment from mermaids
I can relate a little to Mabel Anne, I am always complaining about my health insurance premiums. You have a smooth flow of dialog between the two women and your subject is relevant to today. Your dialog is also humorous.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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I can relate a little to Mabel Anne, I am always complaining about my health insurance premiums. You have a smooth flow of dialog between the two women and your subject is relevant to today. Your dialog is also humorous.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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thank you ma'am. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Ivory blue
The photo of the two young ladies having a delicious drink, conversation about health insurance, Mabel Ann wants free health insurance, and her friend Carrie thinks she's crazy. I can relate to this conversation,
Having heard of these types of conversations dining out.
I don't see a need to change this .
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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The photo of the two young ladies having a delicious drink, conversation about health insurance, Mabel Ann wants free health insurance, and her friend Carrie thinks she's crazy. I can relate to this conversation,
Having heard of these types of conversations dining out.
I don't see a need to change this .
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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thank you.
Comment from Daniel Ayles
Interesting subject matter. Good use of the prompt. Well-executed. The dialogue is solid. I appreciate the use of casual conversation to address larger issues. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Interesting subject matter. Good use of the prompt. Well-executed. The dialogue is solid. I appreciate the use of casual conversation to address larger issues. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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thank you very much.
sometimes a little silliness is calming - an antidote for the news.
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You?re welcome. Agreed.
