Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Football Chapter 3 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
21 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
I can see the story develpement between the coach and Katherine. Now I just have to wait and see what happens. I didn't find any errors. You did a great job as always. Shirley
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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I can see the story develpement between the coach and Katherine. Now I just have to wait and see what happens. I didn't find any errors. You did a great job as always. Shirley
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
How about, "Fresh fields to tend" obviously Gabriel will become the love interest in Katherine's life, and I like it, because it's a different tack, in your romance/adventure story, I love the events that are to new horizons to breach, and fresh fields to sow. Well done great episode, Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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How about, "Fresh fields to tend" obviously Gabriel will become the love interest in Katherine's life, and I like it, because it's a different tack, in your romance/adventure story, I love the events that are to new horizons to breach, and fresh fields to sow. Well done great episode, Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Welcome Barbara
Comment from seaglass
This story reminds my of my busy past with girls in dance, boys in soccer and a 40 hr a week job. It feels like the ice is melting between the two adults and the dogs too. Until next time, stay safe.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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This story reminds my of my busy past with girls in dance, boys in soccer and a 40 hr a week job. It feels like the ice is melting between the two adults and the dogs too. Until next time, stay safe.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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I agree. I had 4 boys, all sports, scouts, band, and civil air patrol. I also worked and my husband was Army so never around. Thank you for understanding.
Comment from Jay Squires
I forgot how much I enjoyed the naturalness of your dialogue and how seamlessly you you direct the action around it.
"He's an interesting man. Most jocks aren't caring." [So, he just jogged off, and she's thinking out loud?]
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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I forgot how much I enjoyed the naturalness of your dialogue and how seamlessly you you direct the action around it.
"He's an interesting man. Most jocks aren't caring." [So, he just jogged off, and she's thinking out loud?]
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Yes, sir. I should probably italics it. LOL Thank you.
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Sir? I love it. Ha, it makes me feel so ancient. LOL.
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I just fixed it. I do listen and take advice. LOL
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
This was another interesting post. I do like the way he's insinuating himself into her life - it seems more seamless thanI expected.
How about 'Playing the Game'?
Thanks!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Barbara,
This was another interesting post. I do like the way he's insinuating himself into her life - it seems more seamless thanI expected.
How about 'Playing the Game'?
Thanks!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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I like Playing the Game' Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
There's easing of hostility between Katherine and Gabe. Jordan would really be delighted if something develops between his mom and Gabriel, because he's quite fond of the coach. What shouldn't Katherine feel safe in her neighborhood, especially that early in the morning? Your characters are such early birds. I feel lazy just reading about it. Katherine is showing she's very well organized and has a plan to keep her sons in line. Isn't there such a thing as school breakfasts? Interesting detail about Jordan. As an athletic teenager, he can surely pack the food away. Great chapter, and characters are coming along wonderfully. judi
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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There's easing of hostility between Katherine and Gabe. Jordan would really be delighted if something develops between his mom and Gabriel, because he's quite fond of the coach. What shouldn't Katherine feel safe in her neighborhood, especially that early in the morning? Your characters are such early birds. I feel lazy just reading about it. Katherine is showing she's very well organized and has a plan to keep her sons in line. Isn't there such a thing as school breakfasts? Interesting detail about Jordan. As an athletic teenager, he can surely pack the food away. Great chapter, and characters are coming along wonderfully. judi
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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No school breakfast before school begins. Matter-of-fact, during school my son had early morning practice, 6:00 and it didn't get over until after breakfast was served so he took a breakfast. LOL My boys always ate huge amounts, especially during football season. At practice they burn thousands of calories. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. They have breakfast and lunch offered in the county schools here. Even if they're not in school, they can get it. I suppose states vary about that. judi
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, another great chapter that shows she's made of hard stuff and can stand up for herself. I like this Gabriel.
"Not a busy as my mom.= "Not as busy as my mom.
Looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Hi Barbara, another great chapter that shows she's made of hard stuff and can stand up for herself. I like this Gabriel.
"Not a busy as my mom.= "Not as busy as my mom.
Looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you for the catch. I have made the correction.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is one of those rare, well written stories that draw the reader in from the beginning. I even enjoy reading the excerpt from the last post before delving into the new writing. Well done!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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This is one of those rare, well written stories that draw the reader in from the beginning. I even enjoy reading the excerpt from the last post before delving into the new writing. Well done!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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you're very welcome!
Comment from Ben Colder
Another interesting story. I see something in the making but will let it fall in place. You hold a tight line toward Football with your characters. Teaching profession shows in your writing. Good one Barb.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Another interesting story. I see something in the making but will let it fall in place. You hold a tight line toward Football with your characters. Teaching profession shows in your writing. Good one Barb.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you for the support.
Comment from BethShelby
:Your story is great and I'm continuing to wonder why you are worried about it. It is good that you are writing something a little different. Katherine sounds like a very busy mother. It is good she has her own mother to help with the boys. I'll be waiting for the next post.
She back out of the driveway. ( She backed out of the dirveway)
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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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:Your story is great and I'm continuing to wonder why you are worried about it. It is good that you are writing something a little different. Katherine sounds like a very busy mother. It is good she has her own mother to help with the boys. I'll be waiting for the next post.
She back out of the driveway. ( She backed out of the dirveway)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. I've made the change
