Fatherhood
A fictional Account of a hapless father35 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker
Nomi,
This is a nice portrayal of an angry, destructive man. The father probably did all he could to raise his son to be a responsible citizen But plans always go awry.
You say this wayward son may have a tragic end; I agree with you that more often than not, this is true.
Excellent thought-provoking poem.
Best wishes, Cindy
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
  |
Nomi,
This is a nice portrayal of an angry, destructive man. The father probably did all he could to raise his son to be a responsible citizen But plans always go awry.
You say this wayward son may have a tragic end; I agree with you that more often than not, this is true.
Excellent thought-provoking poem.
Best wishes, Cindy
Comment Written 16-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
-
Thank you Cindy, I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I am glad this is fiction.
Unfortunately the situation is not fiction and happens in every day life.
Well written and in your writing you can hear the dad's pain.
Well done
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
|
I am glad this is fiction.
Unfortunately the situation is not fiction and happens in every day life.
Well written and in your writing you can hear the dad's pain.
Well done
Comment Written 16-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
-
Thank you very much for your kind and generous comments.
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Oh goodness, this is a sad story.
I am very relieved this is not autobiolographical for you.
But we both know it is biographical for many and you wonder if anything might have been done somewhere along the line.
I like poetry that has weight and meaning and this poem certainly does.
There is good imagery, albeit not always pleasant.
I wonder if you read it aloud if you might be able to change words a bit here and there to make the beat more smoother. Just a suggestion .Blessings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
 |
Oh goodness, this is a sad story.
I am very relieved this is not autobiolographical for you.
But we both know it is biographical for many and you wonder if anything might have been done somewhere along the line.
I like poetry that has weight and meaning and this poem certainly does.
There is good imagery, albeit not always pleasant.
I wonder if you read it aloud if you might be able to change words a bit here and there to make the beat more smoother. Just a suggestion .Blessings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
-
Thanks, it has gone through some edits as a result of my reading it aloud. I finally just got tired and let t go.
-
I hear youl. Been there, done that.
Sometimes a break for a day or week can help. I swear we "hear" things differently from day to day. Blessings.
Comment from royowen
One thing God abhors, probably more than anything, is a man, (or boy, or possibly girl) who thumbs his nose at others, but it would devastate a father, it shames him terribly, and would really, I raised the most respectful girls, and as a dad, it brings so much joy, because one loves them so much. This is beautifully written dear friend, loved this instructional well written post. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
|
One thing God abhors, probably more than anything, is a man, (or boy, or possibly girl) who thumbs his nose at others, but it would devastate a father, it shames him terribly, and would really, I raised the most respectful girls, and as a dad, it brings so much joy, because one loves them so much. This is beautifully written dear friend, loved this instructional well written post. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
-
Thank you brother Roy. It is always a pleasure to hear your thoughts on my writing.
-
Well done
Comment from Gypsymooncat
Some kids are impossible to get through to, and it doesn't matter how well you bring them up, if they're meant to go off the rails, they do.
Even though you said this isn't biographical, you still wrote it like a father in the middle of one of the greatest battles a person will ever encounter: trying to keep your child from prison or death. Well said!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
|
Some kids are impossible to get through to, and it doesn't matter how well you bring them up, if they're meant to go off the rails, they do.
Even though you said this isn't biographical, you still wrote it like a father in the middle of one of the greatest battles a person will ever encounter: trying to keep your child from prison or death. Well said!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
-
I have raised three adult children, plus two adult grand children. None of it has been easy. I lost my eldest to complications of drug abuse, so, I am not a stranger to this type of struggle. and yes there are elements of this poem that relate to my struggles with her.
