Fatherhood
A fictional Account of a hapless father35 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
It is so true with all the pressures of school and the neighborhood out there... the fathers that are around find it difficult to relate to their own children because of so much 'outside influence' through their phones even when they're at home.... although fictional, it is not unrealistic... but well done on the rhythm and the rhyme to drive your point home! ;)
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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It is so true with all the pressures of school and the neighborhood out there... the fathers that are around find it difficult to relate to their own children because of so much 'outside influence' through their phones even when they're at home.... although fictional, it is not unrealistic... but well done on the rhythm and the rhyme to drive your point home! ;)
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your encouragement.
Comment from RShipp
Wow! My first impression was of the horrid mixing of the picture and the title.
'I show him love; he thinks I'm weak
He makes faces when I speak
My discipline he ignores
He dares me to put him outdoors'
(Having worked/ raised several teenage boys from detention centers, your description of the relational undercurrents is magnificent.)
'Ignores me, but I know he hears' (Yes, they hear and see far more than we realize!)
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Wow! My first impression was of the horrid mixing of the picture and the title.
'I show him love; he thinks I'm weak
He makes faces when I speak
My discipline he ignores
He dares me to put him outdoors'
(Having worked/ raised several teenage boys from detention centers, your description of the relational undercurrents is magnificent.)
'Ignores me, but I know he hears' (Yes, they hear and see far more than we realize!)
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much. It sounds like you have been through a few episodes that bear a measure of resemblance to the poem. God bless you.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are clear, heartfelt, sad and creative. The author's
words reminded me of many of the parents I worked with who had
substance addicted kids. Sometimes these kids got on track, however,
many go down the path of these words. Have a great weekend!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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The author's words are clear, heartfelt, sad and creative. The author's
words reminded me of many of the parents I worked with who had
substance addicted kids. Sometimes these kids got on track, however,
many go down the path of these words. Have a great weekend!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thank you. I had no idea when I wrote this that it would touch so many lives. Apparently this was a poem that needed to be written.
Comment from karenina
Sometimes by the grace of God they are touched, at last, by a life event--(often a near brush with death)--and some suddenly see the light. Nothing sadder than a father or mother who feels they can't "fix it"...
My Mom told me the day I had my firstborn that with God's help Ihad two jobs:
1) Teach him how to walk
2) Teach him how to walk away...
She meant, of course, to give him the moral base, religious insight, guidance and encouragement to walk away with confidence and take the bless'ed path.
Simple phrase. Impossible task, when peers and bad influences tug them into darkness.
There is always hope. I do believe that.
Karenina
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Sometimes by the grace of God they are touched, at last, by a life event--(often a near brush with death)--and some suddenly see the light. Nothing sadder than a father or mother who feels they can't "fix it"...
My Mom told me the day I had my firstborn that with God's help Ihad two jobs:
1) Teach him how to walk
2) Teach him how to walk away...
She meant, of course, to give him the moral base, religious insight, guidance and encouragement to walk away with confidence and take the bless'ed path.
Simple phrase. Impossible task, when peers and bad influences tug them into darkness.
There is always hope. I do believe that.
Karenina
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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As a loving and caring parent you have no choice. No sane parent desires the destruction of their child. Sometimes despite our best efforts, we lose our children. I am reminded of the prodigal son in the Bible. Happily he found his way back home, not all are as fortunate.
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Agreed. So sad! A woman I know in town just lost her daughter to a fentanyl overdose... Now has her 13 year old grandson to raise. It's tragic!--Karenina
Comment from RGstar
What a good write. Sharp and to the point. The injection of truth is someone's reality. You delivered, but you delivered poetically, and to choose such a subject and able to deliver with clarity, especially the end sentence which sums it up. Great writing.
Well done. You carried it through well.
My best wishes. Six stars for this one for its impact in short stabbing movements.
Bravo.
RGstar
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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What a good write. Sharp and to the point. The injection of truth is someone's reality. You delivered, but you delivered poetically, and to choose such a subject and able to deliver with clarity, especially the end sentence which sums it up. Great writing.
Well done. You carried it through well.
My best wishes. Six stars for this one for its impact in short stabbing movements.
Bravo.
RGstar
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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As you are an author whose opinion I value, you have no idea how empowering your review comments are. I cannot thank you enough. during the time you were away, I made a vow to pay much more attention to my writing.
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Well done.
Keep striving.
Comment from sammielwf
Nomi,
Taking a broader scope of understanding to your powerful lines I share this thought...
So many parents/ guardians take it as an epic fail when a child deters from what they were taught when growing up. But no matter the gender.....no matter the race....
A child/ person is susceptible to outside influences when they have an emptiness inside them...
Or when they are angry at an unexplainable emotion they harbor within themselves...
Everyone be they child or adult has choices..their crossroad moment of decision determines their fate. So to the dictionary father in your rhyme I say....not your fault.
That being said- your rhyme is powerful and raw with emotion
Sammielwf
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Nomi,
Taking a broader scope of understanding to your powerful lines I share this thought...
So many parents/ guardians take it as an epic fail when a child deters from what they were taught when growing up. But no matter the gender.....no matter the race....
A child/ person is susceptible to outside influences when they have an emptiness inside them...
Or when they are angry at an unexplainable emotion they harbor within themselves...
Everyone be they child or adult has choices..their crossroad moment of decision determines their fate. So to the dictionary father in your rhyme I say....not your fault.
That being said- your rhyme is powerful and raw with emotion
Sammielwf
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thank you. Your review comments show an understanding of the problem described in the poem. I appreciate the care and depth of your review comments.
Comment from Fonda Little
My favorite part was, "I do believe that he hates me
I show him love; he thinks I'm weak", because I can relate when I was in active addiction my mom used to tell me all the time that those drugs would kill me but I always told her to get off my back that I had it under control when in all truth the drugs had me under control and I needed to get those demons off my back instead of my mom who loves me and has my best interests at heart. People like this we just need to pray for and tell the truth in love. Demons don't like when their victim they are preying on is being told something that can open their eyes to what's really happening and will stop at nothing to destroy that relationship so they keep a better grip on their prey!
The Lord led me to this verse after I read this,
Galatians 6:1 King James Version (KJV)
6 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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My favorite part was, "I do believe that he hates me
I show him love; he thinks I'm weak", because I can relate when I was in active addiction my mom used to tell me all the time that those drugs would kill me but I always told her to get off my back that I had it under control when in all truth the drugs had me under control and I needed to get those demons off my back instead of my mom who loves me and has my best interests at heart. People like this we just need to pray for and tell the truth in love. Demons don't like when their victim they are preying on is being told something that can open their eyes to what's really happening and will stop at nothing to destroy that relationship so they keep a better grip on their prey!
The Lord led me to this verse after I read this,
Galatians 6:1 King James Version (KJV)
6 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Some won't recognize the implicit warning contained in this verse. If you try to help someone while you hold the attitude that you are better and this could never happen to you. By your very attitude , you have fallen. You have to give help with a spirit of love.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Fatherhood, might be spoken by any father who has done what he can but somehow lost his son to the world around him. So many factors work to pry families apart.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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This poem, Fatherhood, might be spoken by any father who has done what he can but somehow lost his son to the world around him. So many factors work to pry families apart.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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So true, but only real fathers who love and care for their children will learn this.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a father seeing his son on a wrong path and he feels distress about how he will end up in the way he live so dangerously. It is always a parent's biggest pain when they see their children going on the wrong path.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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A very well-written poem about a father seeing his son on a wrong path and he feels distress about how he will end up in the way he live so dangerously. It is always a parent's biggest pain when they see their children going on the wrong path.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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You are absolutely correct. I have raised one son to adulthood, and on grandson to adulthood. I have not always approved with all of their choices, but thank God, their lifestyles have never been the problem.
Comment from Pantygynt
The use of both fatherhood as the title and father hood as two words in the poem is interesting given the connotations of illegal violence in the word 'hood'. Is this a case of the sins of the fathers being visited upon subsequent generations or were the lad's problems a result of nature rather than nurture?
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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The use of both fatherhood as the title and father hood as two words in the poem is interesting given the connotations of illegal violence in the word 'hood'. Is this a case of the sins of the fathers being visited upon subsequent generations or were the lad's problems a result of nature rather than nurture?
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Very good. When I first sat down to write this poem, I had the idea of implying that the father was part of the problem. Somehow along the way the poem morphed into something else. You and one other reviewer picked up on this. How many time has a child answered a father by saying I learned this bad habit or behavior from watching you dad.
