Reviews from

What's Ordinary?

philosophy for children

148 total reviews 
Comment from DR DIP
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Extraordinary is my world,
where dew is on the grasses pearled
and dawn makes petals come unfurled --
extraordinary is my world.

do I see a hidden cryptic word in this verse ADEWPEARL? lol

well done
would have liked you fins perfect rhyme in each verse with this one as it deserves it

love poems that makes the reader answer a question be it rhetorical or not.

not sure if sawyer on a tram with his parents carries enough relevancy for this little gem even after your explanation but hey you ARE the doting grandma so I will waiver this ok lol

well done Brooke the book must be getting closer
I dare not suggest changing some lines for perfect rhyme as I know you are an advocate of proximate rhyme

great attempt at AAAA format nonetheless

with respect

dip

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Thanks, Dip :-) Yep, that proximate rhyme debate is going to rage on between us. LOL My screen name is derived from an Emily Dickinson poem about how the grass has little else to do other than to gather pearls of dew, so you are spot on with that observation :-) Brooke
Comment from jadapenn
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You have such a creative way of weaving these poems, friend. I love this questioning poem. Nothing is taken for granted but wondered about. I really liked it. I've never thought of how a worm gets through that hard ground. He must be a tough little guy. Well penned. luv jada

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Jada, thank you so much, my friend :-) aerating the soil is their job :-) Brooke
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
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There is so much to praise in this poem I don't know where to start. For one thing, the personification of all life, even the moon, by using WHO instead of THAT.

Emphasis by repetition of first line in each stanza.

The conclusion, where the prefix EXTRA is added to ORDINARY, a great language lesson for kids if parents take the time to discuss it.

Creative expressions: [the moon] makes waves dance without a tune

Plenty of philosophy here, which means a great poem to stimulate discussion between parent and child about the world we live in. I would suggest, as a parent and teacher, that the parent ask the child what he/she finds in the world that amazes him/her.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Phyllis, thank you so very much, for your insightful, thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Ekim777
Exceptional
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The beauty of a child's world is surely that there is something wondrous in most things, however small and apparently ordinary. This is a gift we easily lose. Our poet gives us some new examples in every verse; for example a weed is simply the wrong plant in the wrong place. The final verse seems to be the most sophisticated. Best wishes. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Ekim, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Gargantuan2
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To tell you the truth, I really wouldn't mind something ordinary myself. It seems we grow up to find ourselves in a much more complicated life. So if this ordinary trip becomes noteworthy... it's more than welcome in my life.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Thank you so much, Gargantuan :-) Brooke
Comment from rama devi
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Nice work, dear B. Good contemplative write for children with bouncy beat and clever rhyming. I like grasses pearled rhymed with world and unfurled--inventive! good humble imagery that is extraordinary even though 'ordinary'. Good continuous theme thread in each stanza. Fine flow, enjambement, phonetics and musicality too. Sounds good read aloud. I especially like the moon stanza.

Love,
rd

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    rd, thank you so much for your gracious response to this poem :-) Brooke
reply by rama devi on 05-Aug-2014
    Most welcome, dear. :)
Comment from krys123
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Brooke;
Is an extraordinary and exceptionally done is this piece of poetry which is an excellent philosophical commentary that makes one think that what is so ordinary about the world we live in.
Your rhyming structures tempo and meter are done perfectly and your rhythm seems to flow so smoothly throughout your poem. And your rhyming seems to fit perfectly within each line in each word seems to help the rhythm flow even smoother while neither of the rhyming is forced nor labored.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the Lord be with you always especially on your ordinary days.
Alex

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Alex, thank you so very much for your thoughtful and generous response to this poem, my friend :-) Brooke
reply by krys123 on 04-Aug-2014
    You are so sincerely welcome my friend and peace be with you always.
    Alex
Comment from Just Pete
Exceptional
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I like the question posed in this poem. It promotes an appreciation of the simple things that are so often overlooked. This is pretty much how my own mind works. Noticing the things that others ignore, for they are things that invent poetry. Pete

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Pete, thank you so much for your generous response to my poem :-) Brooke
Comment from CR Delport
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From what I've seen from the poems you posted, there's nothing ordinary about the Cute Little One and his family. They are sure one happy family, my kind of people. I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life :) This is another well crafted poem.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    CR, thank you so much for your humor and your review :-) Brooke
Comment from Tomes Johnston
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This is very true. The things that we take as ordinary every day events are in fact extraordinary feats. This life is full of wonderful things and we need to be thankful that we are here to experience these wonders.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    Tomes, thank you so much :-) Brooke
reply by Tomes Johnston on 04-Aug-2014
    My pleasure