O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "O Winds!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
85 total reviews
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Another excellent haiku. Again, the division between lines 2 and 3 works well, without punctuation. And it separates the haiku into the first two lines about nature, and the third line as the satori (the moment of insight).
Unfortunately, few publishers are publishing 5/7/5 textbook haiku anymore. "Onji"--Japanese sound equivalents-- are shorter than English syllables, so most English writers of haiku have gone to 3/5/3, which seems to be the equivalent of 5/7/5 Japanese "onji". I did publish one 5/7/5 English haiku in Japan, but I am tending to go shorter verses. I only mention this if you send something off to a publisher.
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Another excellent haiku. Again, the division between lines 2 and 3 works well, without punctuation. And it separates the haiku into the first two lines about nature, and the third line as the satori (the moment of insight).
Unfortunately, few publishers are publishing 5/7/5 textbook haiku anymore. "Onji"--Japanese sound equivalents-- are shorter than English syllables, so most English writers of haiku have gone to 3/5/3, which seems to be the equivalent of 5/7/5 Japanese "onji". I did publish one 5/7/5 English haiku in Japan, but I am tending to go shorter verses. I only mention this if you send something off to a publisher.
Comment Written 29-May-2006
Comment from National Scholar
flash clears dark here, there
thunders shock, show silver sky
choose dark, light or rest!
Bold message. Clear thoughts. Thunderbolt brings light to living, spreads hope. Man has to choose good or bad, act or retire. Excellent Haiku.
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flash clears dark here, there
thunders shock, show silver sky
choose dark, light or rest!
Bold message. Clear thoughts. Thunderbolt brings light to living, spreads hope. Man has to choose good or bad, act or retire. Excellent Haiku.
Comment Written 16-May-2006
Comment from Jewell McChesney
o storm, what a rage!
flow genes for lives, sky blush lights
news spreads glow in dark!
Wow, this one takes time to comprehend.
Good work.
I like it when something makes me reflect and ponder life.
Thanks for sharing.
Interesting, very interesting.
Jj
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o storm, what a rage!
flow genes for lives, sky blush lights
news spreads glow in dark!
Wow, this one takes time to comprehend.
Good work.
I like it when something makes me reflect and ponder life.
Thanks for sharing.
Interesting, very interesting.
Jj
Comment Written 14-May-2006
Comment from Dear Essay Reviewer
This is a Haiku poem with the perfect syllable counting.
The poet clearly states how message passes on even in the light of lightening and in winds and how new generations crop up with the result of blowing of winds and the silver lining is visible that indicates the light in dark.
This is a clear work of passing high message on and of life.
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This is a Haiku poem with the perfect syllable counting.
The poet clearly states how message passes on even in the light of lightening and in winds and how new generations crop up with the result of blowing of winds and the silver lining is visible that indicates the light in dark.
This is a clear work of passing high message on and of life.
Comment Written 14-May-2006
Comment from marion
How skilled Alcreator Writer, how skilled.
I love it, these short forms of poetry.
I wish I could be 1/10th as good with words as you.
Beautifully crafted.
marion
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How skilled Alcreator Writer, how skilled.
I love it, these short forms of poetry.
I wish I could be 1/10th as good with words as you.
Beautifully crafted.
marion
Comment Written 13-May-2006
Comment from tuskantail
I am reviewing this on your explanation of a 'Haiku" and having no previous knowledge of such a thing, will allow you to guide me. From your explanation you seem to have done everything right. Confession time though, don't understand it, but am really honestly trying to open my mind.
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I am reviewing this on your explanation of a 'Haiku" and having no previous knowledge of such a thing, will allow you to guide me. From your explanation you seem to have done everything right. Confession time though, don't understand it, but am really honestly trying to open my mind.
Comment Written 13-May-2006
Comment from GRSaine
Hi ALCREATOR WRITER,
Excellent haiku, following the rules very carefully. All too many on FanStory have the proper syllable count but the message does not follow the haiku pattern. And it is so true that often living is a raging storm that we must face as the news goes out on the wind.
GRSaine
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Hi ALCREATOR WRITER,
Excellent haiku, following the rules very carefully. All too many on FanStory have the proper syllable count but the message does not follow the haiku pattern. And it is so true that often living is a raging storm that we must face as the news goes out on the wind.
GRSaine
Comment Written 13-May-2006
Comment from Sassybaby
This is a very nice Haiku. There is a lesson here to be learned by all, and there is also many meanings that can be gained from this one Haiku. The words and phrases come together poetically. Very nicely written.
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This is a very nice Haiku. There is a lesson here to be learned by all, and there is also many meanings that can be gained from this one Haiku. The words and phrases come together poetically. Very nicely written.
Comment Written 12-May-2006
Comment from Doreen Dulally
Hello I'm now on the band wagon
my five stars are for my own ignorance
Try as I may i can't get my head around these [Haiku]
but as I'm in the minority ...it don't really matter
GOOD LUCK
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Hello I'm now on the band wagon
my five stars are for my own ignorance
Try as I may i can't get my head around these [Haiku]
but as I'm in the minority ...it don't really matter
GOOD LUCK
Comment Written 12-May-2006
Comment from Frank Furter
same as previous reveiws thank you for sharing your work with us here at fan story i will look forward to reviewing more of your work as time goes on once again thank you
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same as previous reveiws thank you for sharing your work with us here at fan story i will look forward to reviewing more of your work as time goes on once again thank you
Comment Written 11-May-2006
