Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Your turn with the Soap"A book of Poetry & Writing
128 total reviews
Comment from Janelle
I like the message you're sending in this piece, to lie or not to lie or when is a lie not a lie?
I have a few suggstions offered with respect and from my perspective only.
From day to day you think, then say of things expected.
Only feeding from the comments, of this conversation at hand,
Not knowing where it's leading, like a duck paddling from land.
How would you answer, no with yes? And regret the lie to please?
This section should be one sentence in my opinion or otherwise it is stilted and doesn't flow correctly. Suggest.
From day to day you think, then say of things expected,
only feeding from the comments, of this conversation at hand; not knowing where it's leading, like a duck paddling from land.
How would you answer, no with yes? And regret the lie to please? - should be one sentence; i.e.
How would you answer, no with yes and regret the lie to please?
We are told ,we are all Gods' children - should read
........we are all God's children, unless you're meaning more than one God.
A thought provoking piece. Regards, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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I like the message you're sending in this piece, to lie or not to lie or when is a lie not a lie?
I have a few suggstions offered with respect and from my perspective only.
From day to day you think, then say of things expected.
Only feeding from the comments, of this conversation at hand,
Not knowing where it's leading, like a duck paddling from land.
How would you answer, no with yes? And regret the lie to please?
This section should be one sentence in my opinion or otherwise it is stilted and doesn't flow correctly. Suggest.
From day to day you think, then say of things expected,
only feeding from the comments, of this conversation at hand; not knowing where it's leading, like a duck paddling from land.
How would you answer, no with yes? And regret the lie to please? - should be one sentence; i.e.
How would you answer, no with yes and regret the lie to please?
We are told ,we are all Gods' children - should read
........we are all God's children, unless you're meaning more than one God.
A thought provoking piece. Regards, Jan
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thanks Jim for the review but i like it the way i have it
Comment from E.P. Thomas
G,
I think the things that I have to appreciate the most about your writing is that it comes from the heart and that it's expressed with an uncommon honesty. This is a thought provoking piece. Good descriptive imagery. I liked your metaphorical use of soap. Good work.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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G,
I think the things that I have to appreciate the most about your writing is that it comes from the heart and that it's expressed with an uncommon honesty. This is a thought provoking piece. Good descriptive imagery. I liked your metaphorical use of soap. Good work.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you E P for that comment and for your review Gary
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a good piece of poetry that searches out the inner workings of the mind. The poet has shown his passion for truth in this well written piece. kudos
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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This is a good piece of poetry that searches out the inner workings of the mind. The poet has shown his passion for truth in this well written piece. kudos
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you Perp for your review and comments
Comment from ~Dovey
You pose some thought provoking ideas and questions in this piece. Whether you put on a brave face for others or not ultimately, you can never really lie to yourself without being caught. Good work here.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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You pose some thought provoking ideas and questions in this piece. Whether you put on a brave face for others or not ultimately, you can never really lie to yourself without being caught. Good work here.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you Dovey
Comment from Bellringer
Very good poem about an important matter in a relationship: speaking one's mind in a loving way without fear of retribution or conflict. But it doesn't always work out that way. For, what we say and what another person hears may be two different things. What's the old saying? "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Very good poem about an important matter in a relationship: speaking one's mind in a loving way without fear of retribution or conflict. But it doesn't always work out that way. For, what we say and what another person hears may be two different things. What's the old saying? "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you for your review Bill and the comment
Comment from gramalot8
Deewater, to lie or not to lie, is that the question? Very well done. I will have to read the other chapters in this book you've written from the heart.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Deewater, to lie or not to lie, is that the question? Very well done. I will have to read the other chapters in this book you've written from the heart.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you gramalot for the review GW
Comment from skye
This is really thought provoking and deeply layered. I read it and reread it, got more from each journey through your lines.
Lies and untruths, all lead to more lies, less honesty in our actions.
We must be true to ourselves, not live the life someone else has chosen.
Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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This is really thought provoking and deeply layered. I read it and reread it, got more from each journey through your lines.
Lies and untruths, all lead to more lies, less honesty in our actions.
We must be true to ourselves, not live the life someone else has chosen.
Excellent poem.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you skye for your review and comments
Comment from Mastery
Wow! Very powerful writing, GW. I particularly liked these lines:
"What is it for adults, to wash away tears and pain we hide?
We live our lives so guarded to please our partners wish,
Are we completely true, when living with all their whims?"
Bravo! Bob
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Wow! Very powerful writing, GW. I particularly liked these lines:
"What is it for adults, to wash away tears and pain we hide?
We live our lives so guarded to please our partners wish,
Are we completely true, when living with all their whims?"
Bravo! Bob
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you Bob
Comment from Raul GF
Friend I have read many of your poems, but this one is right now the one I liked the best, because just by reading the title and the first line I began to imagine something different and yet related to your message of your turn with the soap, that I thought it will be our time to clean ourselves, to wash away our regrets. This poem makes us all adults children again facing the giant bar of soap at our mouths. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Friend I have read many of your poems, but this one is right now the one I liked the best, because just by reading the title and the first line I began to imagine something different and yet related to your message of your turn with the soap, that I thought it will be our time to clean ourselves, to wash away our regrets. This poem makes us all adults children again facing the giant bar of soap at our mouths. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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your most welcome and thank you for the review Charlatan
Comment from lola29
I thoroughly enjoyed this. You've posed some very good questions. I'm now going to ponder what a perfect day for me really means.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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I thoroughly enjoyed this. You've posed some very good questions. I'm now going to ponder what a perfect day for me really means.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you Lola for reading
