Tender Tears
Minute Poem entry91 total reviews
Comment from dennis0530
I see in this writing sadness and gloom because of the loss of a loved one.
In their innocence, children are unaware of the woes of the world. But their cries and tears are of a different nature; their pain more from personal causes and parental deprivation.
A child deprived of its parent's love is a child deprived of everything.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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I see in this writing sadness and gloom because of the loss of a loved one.
In their innocence, children are unaware of the woes of the world. But their cries and tears are of a different nature; their pain more from personal causes and parental deprivation.
A child deprived of its parent's love is a child deprived of everything.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Dennis
Steve
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Steve,
I am not really into these less well known forms, but you do it very well. Ticks all the boxes for rhyme and metre and good development of your theme. Good Luck.
Reg
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Dear Steve,
I am not really into these less well known forms, but you do it very well. Ticks all the boxes for rhyme and metre and good development of your theme. Good Luck.
Reg
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Reg.
Not my forte as you know, but I'll have a go at anything for the money!
Steve
Comment from misscookie
I love the photo you choose for your poem yet it is so sad.
I'm please it's in black and white it brings out the child's face expression and emotions more clear.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem.
Cookie
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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I love the photo you choose for your poem yet it is so sad.
I'm please it's in black and white it brings out the child's face expression and emotions more clear.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem.
Cookie
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you Cookie, for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from chasennov
Minute Poem entry "Tender Tears" Children are very much more wise and perceptive than we give them credit for. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Minute Poem entry "Tender Tears" Children are very much more wise and perceptive than we give them credit for. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you.
Steve
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You're welcome.
Comment from Emily George
Oh very powerful both the illustration and verse
GREAT alliteration , good AABBA end rhyming
A very soulful poem,nothing hurts more to a mother than seeing pain in their own child. Very well executed
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Oh very powerful both the illustration and verse
GREAT alliteration , good AABBA end rhyming
A very soulful poem,nothing hurts more to a mother than seeing pain in their own child. Very well executed
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Emily - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from tdragonfly
What a sad and thought provoking Minute. Excellent choice of
photo to express the words so well written. I like the AABB stanza.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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What a sad and thought provoking Minute. Excellent choice of
photo to express the words so well written. I like the AABB stanza.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from pipersfancy
Strong message present in this, Steve. Our children are always little sponges... picking up on our behaviours and emotions. Reflecting back to us, occasionally, things we'd rather not see in ourselves.
One minor suggestion - hopefully not too nit-picky!
What hurt so deep can make you weep?
vs.
What hurt so deep to make you weep?
In its current form, it is not a question, but a statement. So, consider either taking away the question mark, or changing 'can' to 'to'.
Good luck with your entry - I think it's very good!
Christina
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Strong message present in this, Steve. Our children are always little sponges... picking up on our behaviours and emotions. Reflecting back to us, occasionally, things we'd rather not see in ourselves.
One minor suggestion - hopefully not too nit-picky!
What hurt so deep can make you weep?
vs.
What hurt so deep to make you weep?
In its current form, it is not a question, but a statement. So, consider either taking away the question mark, or changing 'can' to 'to'.
Good luck with your entry - I think it's very good!
Christina
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Christina.
I appreciate your thoughtful revie.
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
perfect in every way. rhyming was spot on,emotion was a tear that wuldnt stop, meter and count was great and the whole piece gave feeling.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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perfect in every way. rhyming was spot on,emotion was a tear that wuldnt stop, meter and count was great and the whole piece gave feeling.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Barb, thanks so much for the revie and the six stars.
Steve
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Tender Tears' is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. Sadness in one so young is truly heart-breaking. It was a pleasure to both read and review a poem of this standard.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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'Tender Tears' is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. Sadness in one so young is truly heart-breaking. It was a pleasure to both read and review a poem of this standard.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Steve, you're very welcome.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Phil1:6
Kids are sometimes smarter than we are. Maybe they don't know why but they know what they feel. I bet Jesus cries over us sometimes. Very clever handling of the words in your poem. Surprise ending and speaking your truth are some good qualities of your writing. Very good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Kids are sometimes smarter than we are. Maybe they don't know why but they know what they feel. I bet Jesus cries over us sometimes. Very clever handling of the words in your poem. Surprise ending and speaking your truth are some good qualities of your writing. Very good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the thoughtful review.
Steve
