The Journey
A person's journey in life61 total reviews
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Yout poem is put together well. The words you have chosen are perfect for the thought that flows throughout. That, as the person who is ill, begins to accept the reality of their condition, the natural human phenomenon results in peace... they reflect on the past and yet calmly look to the approaching events.. the end of their life.. the circle of life is now complete.
well done RJ, :-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Yout poem is put together well. The words you have chosen are perfect for the thought that flows throughout. That, as the person who is ill, begins to accept the reality of their condition, the natural human phenomenon results in peace... they reflect on the past and yet calmly look to the approaching events.. the end of their life.. the circle of life is now complete.
well done RJ, :-) Carolyn
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your review and nice comments. RJ
Comment from Jay Leeward
This is difficult for me to review. I am new to FanStory, poetry is not my metier, and this is my first exposure to the acrostic style. With that proviso, I am struck by several things.
It was necessary for me to read and re-read this a number of times, which was, at first, off-putting, but the more I explored your work, the stronger the impact on me. The artwork fits well enough to have been commissioned for this piece, and strengthens the already strong statement of the poem itself.
The lack of punctuation -- I said poetry is not my strong point! -- was confusing and forced me to read deeper and more carefully, for which I was rewarded. Stream of consciousness is difficult both to read and write, but I believe you have pulled it off.
"[P]ersonal risk is a must" and "apprehension for imminent future" express well the questioning we all experience looking into our own mortality. "[P]eace conclusive" and "complete fulfillment" offer hope in what might have been somber and morbid.
This was for me an unusual experience, and one which remain with me for some time to come. Thank you.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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This is difficult for me to review. I am new to FanStory, poetry is not my metier, and this is my first exposure to the acrostic style. With that proviso, I am struck by several things.
It was necessary for me to read and re-read this a number of times, which was, at first, off-putting, but the more I explored your work, the stronger the impact on me. The artwork fits well enough to have been commissioned for this piece, and strengthens the already strong statement of the poem itself.
The lack of punctuation -- I said poetry is not my strong point! -- was confusing and forced me to read deeper and more carefully, for which I was rewarded. Stream of consciousness is difficult both to read and write, but I believe you have pulled it off.
"[P]ersonal risk is a must" and "apprehension for imminent future" express well the questioning we all experience looking into our own mortality. "[P]eace conclusive" and "complete fulfillment" offer hope in what might have been somber and morbid.
This was for me an unusual experience, and one which remain with me for some time to come. Thank you.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for taking the time to read it more than once. I didn't learn to do the acrostic style poem until I came to FanStory. I like the challenge this style gives. I stretched this one a bit with the length and the topic, but felt a desire and passion to get it out. I write quickly when I get a thought, just write words and thoughts, then put them together, several re-writes. I also go to a writers critique group that gives me good feed back. This poem was for my cousin who has now passed on. Poetry is personal and can be taken differently by another individual, it may or may not speak to them. Keep writing and give it a try. RJ
Comment from CR Delport
You live your life, and at a certain stage you take stock. I think everyone reach that point sooner or later and wonder, if I can do it all over again, will I do it the same? This is well done.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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You live your life, and at a certain stage you take stock. I think everyone reach that point sooner or later and wonder, if I can do it all over again, will I do it the same? This is well done.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your review and your thoughts. I would do it differently next time if I had the chance. RJ
Comment from desire333
Hello, this poem was such an essence to read, and well placed. It comes together nicely for me and can understand where you were heading with it. Thank you for sharing and writing something wonderful, even if the idea might have came, due to a member of your family was dying.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Hello, this poem was such an essence to read, and well placed. It comes together nicely for me and can understand where you were heading with it. Thank you for sharing and writing something wonderful, even if the idea might have came, due to a member of your family was dying.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. RJ
Comment from mikemagine
Excellent! Living In A Conundrum. 7 syllables, which I like. 7 is a number representing completion and perfection.
"Mystery wraps each soul" Awesome! We are complex beings. Created with intricacy by a Supreme being. So much potential we have. And we'd best be busy about using it! I'm speaking to myself as much as anyone else.
Mike
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Excellent! Living In A Conundrum. 7 syllables, which I like. 7 is a number representing completion and perfection.
"Mystery wraps each soul" Awesome! We are complex beings. Created with intricacy by a Supreme being. So much potential we have. And we'd best be busy about using it! I'm speaking to myself as much as anyone else.
Mike
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your review and nice comments. I liked that you picked up on the syllable count. I wish I was better at my numerology. RJ
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Many blessings RJ!
Comment from scd41
According to Eastern spirituality, a soul is indestructible. It has a role as per karmic account and takes a body to perform those karmas before leaving for another body. When the karmic account is completed, the soul merges with the supreme soul. Your nice poem brought these thoughts to the fore.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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According to Eastern spirituality, a soul is indestructible. It has a role as per karmic account and takes a body to perform those karmas before leaving for another body. When the karmic account is completed, the soul merges with the supreme soul. Your nice poem brought these thoughts to the fore.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your review and your thoughts on the soul. I'm glad that you read it the way you did. RJ
Comment from Janet Foor
A very well written acrostic with many of life's mysteries to ponder as we watch a loved one transcend their impending journey. I just went through this with my mother a year and a half ago. Apprehension, faith, courage, doubting, reflecting are all excellent words to describe our feelings and emotions during this time. Wishing the best to you and your family.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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A very well written acrostic with many of life's mysteries to ponder as we watch a loved one transcend their impending journey. I just went through this with my mother a year and a half ago. Apprehension, faith, courage, doubting, reflecting are all excellent words to describe our feelings and emotions during this time. Wishing the best to you and your family.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thank you for reading and your wonderful comments. RJ
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I am so sorry that this poem came about because of your sad news. It is a beautiful acrostic and written well. The words tell of our destiny, it is the one part that we cannot change, even if we wanted to. I believe we do accept our passing the nearer we get to it. I have watched at close hand, my husband, my mother and my father, and it helped me to see how calmly they went at the end. I loved this poem, it was lovely to read. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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I am so sorry that this poem came about because of your sad news. It is a beautiful acrostic and written well. The words tell of our destiny, it is the one part that we cannot change, even if we wanted to. I believe we do accept our passing the nearer we get to it. I have watched at close hand, my husband, my mother and my father, and it helped me to see how calmly they went at the end. I loved this poem, it was lovely to read. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your kind words. It amazes me at times what triggers and inspires you to write a poem. It was a way release to for me while saying goodbye. RJ
Comment from rjuselius
i am so sorry for the family illness!
this is a perfect acrostic, very well-penned, dear friend! your poem is philosophical and an interesting read!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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i am so sorry for the family illness!
this is a perfect acrostic, very well-penned, dear friend! your poem is philosophical and an interesting read!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thank you for you kind words and for the six star. RJ
Comment from kiwijenny
I am sorry for the reason for your poem, but this is a very well written acrostic ...I think it flows well ...sometimes acrostics are difficult to flow
Well done..Mystery wraps each soul...impending journey transcends
God bless
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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I am sorry for the reason for your poem, but this is a very well written acrostic ...I think it flows well ...sometimes acrostics are difficult to flow
Well done..Mystery wraps each soul...impending journey transcends
God bless
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. Writing the poem was a way to release and say goodbye, knowing that his soul has continued on. RJ
