Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "A Graveyard Moon"Murder Mystery
57 total reviews
Comment from Connie C
Once again, Bev, I am so impressed with your writing. Your dialogue and the story move along beautifully, and I am so eager to read the next chapter. I'm glad you defined the one Sioux translation in your author's notes, as I wondered if I was misreading it. This story of yours is full of mystery, and I love the spookiness of Debra being all decked out and lying on the bed with the host in her mouth. With our last chapter, I wondered if it was the priest who was the killer--shame on me, I guess. I'm curious, do you know how this is going to end ahead of time? I've taken creative writing courses where I haven't always known where I was going as I was writing. Finally, I see absolutely no SPAGs in this at all; and I've told, I'm big on always looking for them given my years as a teacher. Now if I could just find my own errors! I know I make lots of typos in my reviews. You should be very proud of this, Bev. So far, excellent! Connie
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Once again, Bev, I am so impressed with your writing. Your dialogue and the story move along beautifully, and I am so eager to read the next chapter. I'm glad you defined the one Sioux translation in your author's notes, as I wondered if I was misreading it. This story of yours is full of mystery, and I love the spookiness of Debra being all decked out and lying on the bed with the host in her mouth. With our last chapter, I wondered if it was the priest who was the killer--shame on me, I guess. I'm curious, do you know how this is going to end ahead of time? I've taken creative writing courses where I haven't always known where I was going as I was writing. Finally, I see absolutely no SPAGs in this at all; and I've told, I'm big on always looking for them given my years as a teacher. Now if I could just find my own errors! I know I make lots of typos in my reviews. You should be very proud of this, Bev. So far, excellent! Connie
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Connie, thank you so much for your generosity, my friend! I am so thrilled that you are enjoying my murder mystery. It helps me so much to know what is working for the reader, and you have been very generous with your insights.
I do have a plan for the story. But, as in this chapter, every once in a while a new character will pop in. This time, it was Jana Burke. She may be the subject of a story of her own some time. We'll be seeing more of the Native American Indian aspects through Jana and her Uncle Tony in subsequent chapters.
Unfortunately, the killer is just getting started :)
I'm feeling good about this novel. Helped along by such support and enthusiasm from my dear folks and friends, like you, Connie.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Carrie Carson
Good intrigue within the murder scene as well as within the cast of characters.
Don't know how to improve this, thanks for the Sioux translation, thought I was reading improperly.
Good read, thanks.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Good intrigue within the murder scene as well as within the cast of characters.
Don't know how to improve this, thanks for the Sioux translation, thought I was reading improperly.
Good read, thanks.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thank you much for your great review, Carrie. I appreciate the support. Bev
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Sure, you're welcome.
Comment from peggles
There is so much tension in this chapter that it grips you right from the beginning
This is very well written
The flow is smooth and so easy to follow and understand
You seem to have researched this well it appears realistic
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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There is so much tension in this chapter that it grips you right from the beginning
This is very well written
The flow is smooth and so easy to follow and understand
You seem to have researched this well it appears realistic
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, peggles. I really appreciate your support for this chapter. You are most generous. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from psalmist
Wow, this was excellent. Again, kept me on the edge of my seat with anticipation. I could see you making a series of Father Brian mystery stories. I only noticed one small thing:
--while I and Officer Burke (should probably be Officer Burke and I)
I look forward to the next chapter. Linda
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Wow, this was excellent. Again, kept me on the edge of my seat with anticipation. I could see you making a series of Father Brian mystery stories. I only noticed one small thing:
--while I and Officer Burke (should probably be Officer Burke and I)
I look forward to the next chapter. Linda
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, Linda. I really appreciate your support of this chapter and you letting me know what you liked. That really helps. I wasn't sure of the section you mentioned, I was on the fence. So, I'll go with your insight. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from barkingdog
:) Fantastic write, Bev. :)
Your sentences vary in structure, it is well paced and you have developed some very interesting characters and plot possibilities through natural, character specific dialogue and knowledgeable descriptive narrative.(The information on the 'host' was all new to me. Well, done.)
Tying a specific priest to this murder is a fine touch. Now we wonder why. Is he a target?
Officer Newstead is interesting. Was he the one talking to the reporter outside? I wonder what 'beans' he may have spilled since it looked like he knew her 'very' well.
Office Burke who intuitively picks up clues via her Indian heritage is fascinating. I hope she does more.
Nice weaving, Bev. Tight, fast and exciting.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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:) Fantastic write, Bev. :)
Your sentences vary in structure, it is well paced and you have developed some very interesting characters and plot possibilities through natural, character specific dialogue and knowledgeable descriptive narrative.(The information on the 'host' was all new to me. Well, done.)
Tying a specific priest to this murder is a fine touch. Now we wonder why. Is he a target?
Officer Newstead is interesting. Was he the one talking to the reporter outside? I wonder what 'beans' he may have spilled since it looked like he knew her 'very' well.
Office Burke who intuitively picks up clues via her Indian heritage is fascinating. I hope she does more.
Nice weaving, Bev. Tight, fast and exciting.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, Ellen. This chapter is a result of taking your great constructive critiques of my previous chapters and utilizing your knowledge. So, I thank you for that, also. This generous review sure has me smiling as does the support, my friend. Warm regards, Bev
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I'm glad it released a six for you. I was holding my breath. LOL
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi writingfundimension,
One point of correction to your AN, the Anglican Church and a number of other churches that are "Catholic and Apostolic" in their ordination and the oversight of bishops hold the same understanding of the Consecrated host. There is a lot of misunderstanding on this issue, all "Transubstantiation" actually means is that the Consecrated host becomes "the outward visible sign, of the inward spiritual grace" given in our Lord's sacrifice. "This is my body, which is broken for you." For all those of us who follow the "catholic tradition" Christ is present in the consecrated host. This understanding is not exclusive to Rome.
The story promises a tense and very intriguing set of revelations as you progress it. I shall look forward to more.
Patrick
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Hi writingfundimension,
One point of correction to your AN, the Anglican Church and a number of other churches that are "Catholic and Apostolic" in their ordination and the oversight of bishops hold the same understanding of the Consecrated host. There is a lot of misunderstanding on this issue, all "Transubstantiation" actually means is that the Consecrated host becomes "the outward visible sign, of the inward spiritual grace" given in our Lord's sacrifice. "This is my body, which is broken for you." For all those of us who follow the "catholic tradition" Christ is present in the consecrated host. This understanding is not exclusive to Rome.
The story promises a tense and very intriguing set of revelations as you progress it. I shall look forward to more.
Patrick
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thanks for the correction and information, Patrick. My limited understanding is showing and the author's note is out! Appreciate your time and interst. Bev
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My pleasure, I'm glad to have been able to help and if I can help in future, feel free to ask.
Patrick
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That's very generous of you, Patrick. I'll keep that in mind. Take care, Bev
Comment from robina1978
It is funny how they find the murdered woman and still a big question why the priest was called by this killer. And it is most unusual I suppose that the officer reckognises the object. Keeps the tension up here.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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It is funny how they find the murdered woman and still a big question why the priest was called by this killer. And it is most unusual I suppose that the officer reckognises the object. Keeps the tension up here.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Hi, Ine. Thank you for your great review. I'm inferring a couple of things with the final line - the anger may be projected towards the priest but not necessarily directed at him. Thanks for reading this latest chapter - I appreciate the support. Kind regards, Bev
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Most welcome Bev, wonder where it will go.
Comment from misscookie
Once again I'm at the edge of my chair.
As always this chapter is better than the last.
And once again you capture my attention.
This is as good write.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Once again I'm at the edge of my chair.
As always this chapter is better than the last.
And once again you capture my attention.
This is as good write.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much for your grear review. I really appreciate your time and interest, my friend. Blessings, Bev
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You're very welcome.
Comment from writerwish
This is so intriguing and well written. I hung on to every word, reading slowly so as not to miss details. Your descriptions are realistic, as well as the characters and actions, such as the grabbing of the rookie's arm. I have seen police tempers. I have been behind. Did not know you started a novel. Will have to catch up now.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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This is so intriguing and well written. I hung on to every word, reading slowly so as not to miss details. Your descriptions are realistic, as well as the characters and actions, such as the grabbing of the rookie's arm. I have seen police tempers. I have been behind. Did not know you started a novel. Will have to catch up now.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thank you, Irene. I really appreciate the support of your words and your very generous review. You are most kind! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
A very good chapter indeed, but I'm perplexed why the sheriff changed demeanor so dramatically at the end.
So, the communion host is a message to the Father. But what does it mean? Hmmm.... I'll have to ponder on that for awhlle.
Riveting chapter!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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A very good chapter indeed, but I'm perplexed why the sheriff changed demeanor so dramatically at the end.
So, the communion host is a message to the Father. But what does it mean? Hmmm.... I'll have to ponder on that for awhlle.
Riveting chapter!
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Hi, Sue. The significance of the host will become apparent in later chapters as it is a pivotal aspect of the murderers reasoning. Thanks so much for sticking with me! Kind regards, Bev
