A child's fear
Childhood fears55 total reviews
Comment from GeneticDouble
Gramps said to check out this one Alvin. He rarely does that but I know when he calls one a hit it is a hit and yours is a hit for sure. Love this unusual sonnet and love how you brought it all together. A very impressive write and good luck in the contest Alvin. You have entered a highly competitive verse IMHO. Jason
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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Gramps said to check out this one Alvin. He rarely does that but I know when he calls one a hit it is a hit and yours is a hit for sure. Love this unusual sonnet and love how you brought it all together. A very impressive write and good luck in the contest Alvin. You have entered a highly competitive verse IMHO. Jason
Comment Written 17-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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Thank you very much, Jason. I think you have fine talent and I always appreciate six stars from you. I am very touched by the word "impressive"--I know with a writer as talented as Tom for your grandfather, you know good poetry when you see it.
Comment from easyeverett
You're on fire Alvin. This is a brilliant piece of writing. I have one concern and one concern only.
"The hideous might come to lie beside
My soul--although I am in my own home." Why is being in your own home and vulnerable mentioned. By implication you should be safe in your own home but you assume the reader and narrator both share a singular bit of knowledge that need not be explained. That knowledge being that there is special protection in one's own home yet I do not know why. Maybe something like this go take prior implication out of the equation.
Now for some reason I have the six stars so I gladly add one star to your total stars this grand evening. LOL. tom
"My soul--within the safety of my home." Here you do not imply a unique, prior set of facts that should make your home
safe. You are simply stating a universal acceptance of safety in one's home. Hope I made myself clear on this Alvin. The rest of the poem from the great enjambment and internal rhyme plus great assonance and continuity of cadence make this post an exceptional post but I am out of six stars so know that I would give the maximum number of stars awarded in all cases. Tonight that is five stars. Great write. tom
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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You're on fire Alvin. This is a brilliant piece of writing. I have one concern and one concern only.
"The hideous might come to lie beside
My soul--although I am in my own home." Why is being in your own home and vulnerable mentioned. By implication you should be safe in your own home but you assume the reader and narrator both share a singular bit of knowledge that need not be explained. That knowledge being that there is special protection in one's own home yet I do not know why. Maybe something like this go take prior implication out of the equation.
Now for some reason I have the six stars so I gladly add one star to your total stars this grand evening. LOL. tom
"My soul--within the safety of my home." Here you do not imply a unique, prior set of facts that should make your home
safe. You are simply stating a universal acceptance of safety in one's home. Hope I made myself clear on this Alvin. The rest of the poem from the great enjambment and internal rhyme plus great assonance and continuity of cadence make this post an exceptional post but I am out of six stars so know that I would give the maximum number of stars awarded in all cases. Tonight that is five stars. Great write. tom
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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thanks for a very good review, Tom. I like your suggestion and it does keep the iambic pentameter. I need to ponder that. I may change it. Thanks again.
Comment from maggieJo
Fears that kill creativity and that bind the soul is like a wild dangerous animal turned loose. When it is faced it might cower but watch your back.
Children are so vulnerable. They are so 'innocent' and absorb all as trulth
until 'the one that comes to lie beside'--the friend that betrays or the compliment that backfires. Blessed is the on that learns early of the
adored Lord God that loves
Cursed be the one that tells at an early aaage of millignant ghoste, sprites, amd so on.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Fears that kill creativity and that bind the soul is like a wild dangerous animal turned loose. When it is faced it might cower but watch your back.
Children are so vulnerable. They are so 'innocent' and absorb all as trulth
until 'the one that comes to lie beside'--the friend that betrays or the compliment that backfires. Blessed is the on that learns early of the
adored Lord God that loves
Cursed be the one that tells at an early aaage of millignant ghoste, sprites, amd so on.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Yes, you caught the underlying didactic spiritual nature of the poem. Thanks for a great and understanding review.
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Yes, you caught the underlying didactic spiritual nature of the poem. Thanks for a great and understanding review.
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I sure thank you for the poem. I respect your proficientcy and expertise.
Escuse if I misspell A heart attack uear pllus ago. Scrambled my grade "A" spelling skill. :-) I thank God for my dictionary that I keep by my side. (Sometimes it just gets to be too much troble to look up a word. Would you say its time then to shup down my computer? smile!
maggiejo
Comment from wizard_of_oz
So true, many times scary stories will leave imprint in one's mind, afraid of unknown fears. It has a message of truth and wisdom, goodluck to the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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So true, many times scary stories will leave imprint in one's mind, afraid of unknown fears. It has a message of truth and wisdom, goodluck to the contest.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Thank you very much. You "caught" exactly what I wanted to convey.
Comment from P1
your sotes are not needed
the piece is totally self explanatory
how easy it is to say or do something that
will scar a young person forever. your poem has
made me think, which is always good, and i liked the
sentimen, althought distubing, it was very real
good luck in comp and i hope you are staying well.
hugs lynda.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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your sotes are not needed
the piece is totally self explanatory
how easy it is to say or do something that
will scar a young person forever. your poem has
made me think, which is always good, and i liked the
sentimen, althought distubing, it was very real
good luck in comp and i hope you are staying well.
hugs lynda.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Thanks; I usually don't like to write author's notes, so I am glad to know you thought they were not needed. But some have criticized other work of mine on those points, so I thought I would "head them off at the pass", so to speak. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Alvin ...
This is very well written but it would be more easily read with a different colour-scheme. White on black is not too restful for the eyes.
How right it is to point to the fact that the adult world
do not consider the awful impact of their ghost and witch stories on little children. Of this I have written in some of my poems about what is done at Hallowe'en.
There is nothing that I would suggest changing.
Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Hullo Alvin ...
This is very well written but it would be more easily read with a different colour-scheme. White on black is not too restful for the eyes.
How right it is to point to the fact that the adult world
do not consider the awful impact of their ghost and witch stories on little children. Of this I have written in some of my poems about what is done at Hallowe'en.
There is nothing that I would suggest changing.
Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Thank you for such a good review. I'll consider changing the color scheme.
Comment from serenityjs
yes, my friend, so very true...the sad thing is, for some children, monsters really do live under there bed....a well written poem, thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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yes, my friend, so very true...the sad thing is, for some children, monsters really do live under there bed....a well written poem, thanks for sharing
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Thank you for a good review and for understanding. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Juleeann
I thought this was creative, dark, and hauntingly beautiful. I so appreciate the author's notes, as well. I treat them as my college class in poetry. Thanks for sharing.
Juleeann
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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I thought this was creative, dark, and hauntingly beautiful. I so appreciate the author's notes, as well. I treat them as my college class in poetry. Thanks for sharing.
Juleeann
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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What a nice compliment. Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed the poem and thank you for a good review.
Comment from Stephy Jemmisparks
it was a very relate-able piece, it invoke some i"ndignant-cy "in me and some parts of it had me nodding my head through and the rhythm was beat like sound. good luck for the contest!
love Stephy.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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it was a very relate-able piece, it invoke some i"ndignant-cy "in me and some parts of it had me nodding my head through and the rhythm was beat like sound. good luck for the contest!
love Stephy.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Thanks for a good review.
Comment from HalfHoff
bless the innocent minds around us and also inside of us ... sometimes ignorance IS bliss ... Wonderful write Alvin. Lea Ann
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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bless the innocent minds around us and also inside of us ... sometimes ignorance IS bliss ... Wonderful write Alvin. Lea Ann
Comment Written 16-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2008
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Thanks. I always hate to see innocence lost and I see it so often in the scared eyes and faces of children. Thanks for a great review.
