I dream...
I ponder93 total reviews
Comment from Luvs2rite4u
Your compelling word usage and the ebb and flow were magnificent. I marveled with your poem and agree with your word choice to convey a message in poetry form. I, as your reader, saw the sad world as we know it. You will change this world by showing and not telling. I heard you. This was wonderful.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
Your compelling word usage and the ebb and flow were magnificent. I marveled with your poem and agree with your word choice to convey a message in poetry form. I, as your reader, saw the sad world as we know it. You will change this world by showing and not telling. I heard you. This was wonderful.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for your splendid review, and magnificent stars, I'm overwhelmed,
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
There are a lot questions that we don't have answers for and I don't know if we'll live long enough to know what the answers are for sure. You did a great job and certainly made me stop and wonder.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
There are a lot questions that we don't have answers for and I don't know if we'll live long enough to know what the answers are for sure. You did a great job and certainly made me stop and wonder.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for this great review,
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Author
This is pretty deep. I think of John Lennon's song, "Imagine".
Hatred has been with us ever since Cain killed Abel. One day, the lion will lay down with the lamb. But that's a ways off.
My favorite lines,
"If Moon and Sun would cease to shine...
on endless night would evil dine?"
This is a fine example of personification. I get an image of evil, as some kind of mindless beast, feasting on a darkened earth where there is no hope.
"I ponder how the world will end;
will rescue come? Can we depend." ...(I'd omit the period since this leads into the rest of the sentence.
I ponder how the world will end;
will rescue come? Can we depend
on someone who (in whom) hope sings --)
I'm not sure that "who (in whom)" works. I'd reconsider this line.
Also, I suggest "mercy" rather than "healing" for the final line.
But, you know, it's good to have questions like these. Someday in the distant future, hopefully, the earth will become dark and evil will be ever-present.
Good Luck in the contest!
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
Hi Mystery Author
This is pretty deep. I think of John Lennon's song, "Imagine".
Hatred has been with us ever since Cain killed Abel. One day, the lion will lay down with the lamb. But that's a ways off.
My favorite lines,
"If Moon and Sun would cease to shine...
on endless night would evil dine?"
This is a fine example of personification. I get an image of evil, as some kind of mindless beast, feasting on a darkened earth where there is no hope.
"I ponder how the world will end;
will rescue come? Can we depend." ...(I'd omit the period since this leads into the rest of the sentence.
I ponder how the world will end;
will rescue come? Can we depend
on someone who (in whom) hope sings --)
I'm not sure that "who (in whom)" works. I'd reconsider this line.
Also, I suggest "mercy" rather than "healing" for the final line.
But, you know, it's good to have questions like these. Someday in the distant future, hopefully, the earth will become dark and evil will be ever-present.
Good Luck in the contest!
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 31-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks for this most marvellous review and suggestions, The Healing in His wings is from Malachi, predicting Jesus coming.
Comment from Owais Khan
Hello!
I found this poem well worded and the sentiment behind it appreciable.
I'm not sure the poem follows the contest guidelines, which state
"Write a verse that makes a statement, then the next verse forms a question, 3rd verse goes back to statement, 4th to question, and so on. Doesn't have to rhyme. Use as many verses as you would like - couplet, quatrain, tercet, etc."
This poem both makes a statement and offers up a question within the very same verse.
Nonetheless, my best wishes to the poet! Stay happy and blessed always
Love, Owais
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
Hello!
I found this poem well worded and the sentiment behind it appreciable.
I'm not sure the poem follows the contest guidelines, which state
"Write a verse that makes a statement, then the next verse forms a question, 3rd verse goes back to statement, 4th to question, and so on. Doesn't have to rhyme. Use as many verses as you would like - couplet, quatrain, tercet, etc."
This poem both makes a statement and offers up a question within the very same verse.
Nonetheless, my best wishes to the poet! Stay happy and blessed always
Love, Owais
Comment Written 31-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for your review,
Comment from Paws4FX
A bit John Lennonesque. I too wonder why the world today seems to be clothed in hate, and I love that you closed hopefully. Aside from love, hope makes the world go round. Beautiful poem. Good luck!
Michael
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
A bit John Lennonesque. I too wonder why the world today seems to be clothed in hate, and I love that you closed hopefully. Aside from love, hope makes the world go round. Beautiful poem. Good luck!
Michael
Comment Written 31-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much Michael, for great review,
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
This is a terrific entry for the Statement-Question contest! You've voiced something that I sometimes think about too. Why can't humans get along and live together in peace and harmony?. Will it take angels or aliens to show us the way some day, or will humans do themselves in?
I love the premise of your write, and it is so very well written and presented. I wish I still had six stars left, as this is worth it. Good luck to you with this fine entry, myster writer. I think this poem should fare well in the contest. ~~ Connie
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
This is a terrific entry for the Statement-Question contest! You've voiced something that I sometimes think about too. Why can't humans get along and live together in peace and harmony?. Will it take angels or aliens to show us the way some day, or will humans do themselves in?
I love the premise of your write, and it is so very well written and presented. I wish I still had six stars left, as this is worth it. Good luck to you with this fine entry, myster writer. I think this poem should fare well in the contest. ~~ Connie
Comment Written 31-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks Chloe, your lovely review, is most appreciated.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You've certainly covered the Statement/Question for this contest. A lovely dream, an Earth not clothed in hate and a good choice to write on. Well done and good luck,
cheers.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
You've certainly covered the Statement/Question for this contest. A lovely dream, an Earth not clothed in hate and a good choice to write on. Well done and good luck,
cheers.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks Pearl for your great review, and comments.
Comment from poetwatch
This is a very good statement-answer entry. I have often asked myself if we will be rescued from little men that hold the world by their fingers. And then I hear " Don't worry." I also dream. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
This is a very good statement-answer entry. I have often asked myself if we will be rescued from little men that hold the world by their fingers. And then I hear " Don't worry." I also dream. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for your comments and splendid review,
Comment from Sergeant Floyd
I love the lines Can we depend on someone who (in whom) hope sings. Some parts of your poem like healing in His wings ring familiar though. Best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
I love the lines Can we depend on someone who (in whom) hope sings. Some parts of your poem like healing in His wings ring familiar though. Best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much, for this fine review, and comments. Are there syntax errors?, you marked it down, please share!
Comment from JDRBAR
Very pretty. Kinda hard to imagine earth without hate. God could easily change that, but I think He's put it in our hands to find the means to end it. After all, He didn't cause it.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
Very pretty. Kinda hard to imagine earth without hate. God could easily change that, but I think He's put it in our hands to find the means to end it. After all, He didn't cause it.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much, , for this fine review, and comments. You're right, He didn't.