Reviews from

A Shift in Awareness

Everything is conspiring for good.

44 total reviews 
Comment from Janie King
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What an awesome comparison. i have now idea about the tanka part but I'm sure you have that down pat. Good luck in the contest. God loves you and I do too.

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Thank you so much for the six, Janie. I do find this form a challenge.
Comment from Eigle Rull
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is really a cool, well written piece of work. It sounds good and gives a clear message. I enjoyed it.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Thanks, Eigle.
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I, no handyman, have often been intrigued by the
engineering skills of those who never went to kindergarten.
To fashion a nest from scraps of this and that?
Not my forte.

Poetry isn't my forte either, Shari,
but might the syntax of the second line hold up better as:
from debris found on the ground

Plus you get the found/ground internal rhyme.

Just a thought.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Thanks, Lee. I like the internal rhyme, if not the new line, so I made some more changes and added more rhyme.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Okay, you know I seldom award a six to a small poem because I follow so many exceptional writers, and often encounter brilliant, much longer writes, but Shari, this tanka is just too profound on so many levels!!! MARVELOUS!!!

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    I'm honored, Dawn, for the six, and for the fact that you read between the lines.
Comment from Tatarka2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I really thought this was an excellent use of this difficult and demanding form. You have said so much in so few words, staying within the format. I admire this very much.

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Thanks, Tartarka. The exceptional rating means a lot too me, but also the fact that you get it. Not everyone does.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Shari,

How interesting that the creation of a bird's nest made you feel so spiritual. Thought does become matter. Oh, wow, I just had a bit of a epiphany. Birds and such don't consciously analyze what they are doing. Perhaps to a lesser extent, we humans are manipulated by our earthly instincts.

Hugs,
Lou

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    The idea isn't mine. It comes from our metaphysical speaker on Monday on Transformation through consciousness. She used the bird and its nest as an example of instinct. That's why I go to the meetings --inspiration plus. Still have to locate a reader.
    BTW, having done more research on dementia, I asked the right questions at Frank's appt. His dementia is not vascular like I thought. Unfortunately, it is from the Alzheimer's gene. They can tell by physical reactions as well as mental. For example, I noted Frank has no knee jerk reaction anymore.
reply by Louise Michelle on 14-May-2014
    Are you and Frank able to have discussions about his memory loss or is he still in denial?

    I found the papers on the medium. Basically I had thrown out hard copies of two badly written chapter books for middle readers. But I didn't pay close attention to whatever else was in those folder. I still have other writings I saved since childhood and young adulthood. The desk drawers are clean and organized better so I won't be tossing anymore out. At least I hope not!
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Franks's still in denial. Sigh...
    Glad you found your papers on the medium.
    I love organizing. Find so many treasure.
Comment from sibhus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

But, birds only make out of instinct, they have no real thought process it's just ingrained in them, or is it. Definitely a lot more going on then we give them credit for. This was a good poem that really gives you time to pause and wonder. Good stuff there, Spitfire.

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Thanks, husky. Remember how often people tell us to rely on our instincts? So guess we do have them.
Comment from ronnie k
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

MY dear word mover, you are so like the bird, you gather, place words together and take their meaning HIGHER smile
thank you for sharing always

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    What a sweet review, Ronnie. Thanks.
Comment from LateBloomer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Spitfire, A delightful tanka. I especially liked:

when thought becomes creation
we move to a higher plane

(the above is so very true. where would the world be without our thinking inventors.)

Your poem made me smile. The bird's nest was a great analogy.

Keep the blue waters flowing and the brain power growing.

LateBloomer

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Thanks, LB. Appreciate the detailed review.
Comment from NicciFaye
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very nice! I love the message you have embedded in this poem. Lines 3-5 are perfect link back to the first two lines of the poem. You did this rightly well.

 Comment Written 14-May-2014


reply by the author on 14-May-2014
    Thanks, Nicci. Inspired by a lecture on transformation.