A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "~Clowns in my Head~"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
52 total reviews
Comment from PaddyMac
Wonderful poem, the clowns that possess you are evil and threatening and the tempo of the poem quickens to the climax. The rhythm and rhyme of the poem are great, but you use simple language throughout, except for the word "osseous". Why use it?
I think the first line of the 3rd last stanza should read "but they're in there, you see?
The rhythm in the last line falters for me. I have read it a few times and I would change the second last line to "I know that you're there, shadows give you away" but to be honest, I am quibbling about the detail in a masterful piece of work! Very well done!
Paddy
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Wonderful poem, the clowns that possess you are evil and threatening and the tempo of the poem quickens to the climax. The rhythm and rhyme of the poem are great, but you use simple language throughout, except for the word "osseous". Why use it?
I think the first line of the 3rd last stanza should read "but they're in there, you see?
The rhythm in the last line falters for me. I have read it a few times and I would change the second last line to "I know that you're there, shadows give you away" but to be honest, I am quibbling about the detail in a masterful piece of work! Very well done!
Paddy
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Hey, no worries PaddyMac. I always appreciate good, constructive criticism and helpful suggestions. What I absolutely LOATHE with a passion is when someone gives you a three or four star rating, then says they absolutely loved the poem, or, more simply, it's wasn't their "cup of tea". I always think when that happens, Ah, excuse me, but did you not notice the category that this is listed in, "Horror/Thriller?" ... For some, passing on those 1.18 member dollars is just too much.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A really good poem. This would scare kids to death but your last line brings relief. There is something quite scary about clowns - OK in the circus just making children laugh at their antics but your pictures are quite weird. Interesting author notes. Well written poem. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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A really good poem. This would scare kids to death but your last line brings relief. There is something quite scary about clowns - OK in the circus just making children laugh at their antics but your pictures are quite weird. Interesting author notes. Well written poem. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thanks so much, Dorothy, for this wonderful review & rating. I am very glad to know that you liked it!
Comment from elchupakabra
As usual Dean, it shows that you have a great attention to detail in your work. The way you combine image, music and word is tactical, technical and beautiful. From a marketing standpoint I can see incredible opportunities for your series of pictapoems as an e-book. Excellent work yet again on this well crafted piece. I hate clowns, not because I'm scared, I just generally find them annoying, but some are ok. Lol, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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As usual Dean, it shows that you have a great attention to detail in your work. The way you combine image, music and word is tactical, technical and beautiful. From a marketing standpoint I can see incredible opportunities for your series of pictapoems as an e-book. Excellent work yet again on this well crafted piece. I hate clowns, not because I'm scared, I just generally find them annoying, but some are ok. Lol, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thanks very much, elchupakabra. I am always appreciative of your excellent feedback. These 'pictapoems' being in a published book may soon be a reality. I have now gotten a couple of interested investors in such a project...
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Best of luck to you. If I wasn't the definition of a starving artist I would definitely invest in this project, I believe you are definitely on to something. If you ever want some free marketing advice, I'd be happy to offer some helpful tips. I very recently completed a two year Media and Advertising Sales program at Humber College in Toronto, ON, CA. Best of luck with your project!
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Thanks for saying so. I really appreciate that...
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Dean
yes you made your 'Excellent' rhyming poem make me have a fear of scary clowns but, not happy clowns who like to have fun- here is my reply --
Please don't send in a scary clown
I'll put my own frowns at ease,
and raise my moody spirits
with a fun and smiley clown.
to appease my melancholy moods.
Gert
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Hello Dean
yes you made your 'Excellent' rhyming poem make me have a fear of scary clowns but, not happy clowns who like to have fun- here is my reply --
Please don't send in a scary clown
I'll put my own frowns at ease,
and raise my moody spirits
with a fun and smiley clown.
to appease my melancholy moods.
Gert
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Hah, thanks for that extremely poetic reply, Gert. I do appreciate that!
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Smiles Dean and you are welcome.
Gert
Comment from david bell
Dean, would you be kind enough to read a chapter of one of my books, so I can have your opinion? I like this poem. Do you fear clowns?
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Dean, would you be kind enough to read a chapter of one of my books, so I can have your opinion? I like this poem. Do you fear clowns?
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thanks, david, and I can devote my time now to reading and reviewing more. The move to our new home is now complete, and our internet service has finally been restored...
Comment from Lulube
Bravo!!! Creepy, mystifing, crafty reading but read I did. You led the reader to see from behind the eyes. Well mine anyways. Nice little twist for the ending. Not all blood and guts like a guy poem. This I read and this I like..
lulube
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Bravo!!! Creepy, mystifing, crafty reading but read I did. You led the reader to see from behind the eyes. Well mine anyways. Nice little twist for the ending. Not all blood and guts like a guy poem. This I read and this I like..
lulube
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Lulube, and I, for one, am very glad you did! The clowns are ecstatic that you've read it, and they are constantly after me to pen more poems about them. Who knows, perhaps I will...
Thanks again, my friend!
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welcome and I think you will let them back onto page some day soon.
lulube
Comment from Cookie333
Well, Dean I shall never view clowns in the same light ever again...I am really glad it is daytime here my friend. Very spooky and well told through the eyes/mind of a child.
thank you
karen
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Well, Dean I shall never view clowns in the same light ever again...I am really glad it is daytime here my friend. Very spooky and well told through the eyes/mind of a child.
thank you
karen
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Heh, thanks, Karen. For your sake, I am glad it was daylight, too...
I seriously appreciate the kind review.
Comment from lindalcreel
Yep- the carnival music was perfect for this pictapoem. As I was reading the poem, I kept thinking about the movie Poltergeist, and the clown in that little boys bedroom. That was a pretty creepy clown. There are no clowns in my house, as a result. I guess there are some memories you just can't get rid of. Great post. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Yep- the carnival music was perfect for this pictapoem. As I was reading the poem, I kept thinking about the movie Poltergeist, and the clown in that little boys bedroom. That was a pretty creepy clown. There are no clowns in my house, as a result. I guess there are some memories you just can't get rid of. Great post. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Egads! I'd almost forgotten about that creepy scene, but thanks ever so much for reminding of it, as well as for reading & reviewing this poem!
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Would like to promote some of your pictapoems on my website. Should be up and running without any glitches in another day or so. There I will pay tribute to Indy authors. website is www.angelbloodbooks.com Have a look see.
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I will, Linda, thank you...
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Welcome. Have to see Dad this weekend, still in the hospital, but hopefully, I can fix the little glitches Are you published already on Amazon. if yes I can promote you work. Let mr know. :)
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Nope, I'm published in a few magazines, but that's all. Oh, and on KoBoKo, too...
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When the website it ready I would love to promote some of your pictapoems. Not sure if you can make sort of a novella of them, but they are fantastic. Will keep you posted.
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Welcome:)
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Dean,
This is a great poem, one filled with eeriness and awe. The picture you added of the clown works perfectly with this poem and the music. I found your notes very interesting at the end. I never knew clowns dated back to the Greeks and Romans.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Hi Dean,
This is a great poem, one filled with eeriness and awe. The picture you added of the clown works perfectly with this poem and the music. I found your notes very interesting at the end. I never knew clowns dated back to the Greeks and Romans.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thanks very much for your wonderful review, Rosalyne!
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Ah, the clown! Great description and imagery. Brings back the childhood memories of my Mom's white faced clown doll in my room. I hated that thing. As always, very well written. Great music.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Ah, the clown! Great description and imagery. Brings back the childhood memories of my Mom's white faced clown doll in my room. I hated that thing. As always, very well written. Great music.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Oh, really? Well, I would have never gotten any sleep! I am surprised that you did...
Thanks for sharing that, as well as for the read and great review, Green Lake Girl!
