Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "part four, Chapter 18"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

65 total reviews 
Comment from whispersofthesoul
Excellent
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hiya,
this a fantastic continuation, the tension you are creating is wonderful and entriguig leaving you wanting more. the action and dialogue is spot on with more attention placed on the dialogue

i really enjoyed reading this good chapter
welldone

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elgone
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an outstanding continuation of the chapter. The drama is compelling and the tension increasing. The situation and the dialogue are very realistic. Unfortunately, this happens in real life too often and is easy to envision.

e

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and you insight.
Comment from Anisa-
Excellent
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Very tense chapter here. Hoping Anna makes it out okay. Just one question ... When the officer is speaking through the loud speaker I get how the people in the apartment can hear him, but how are the police hearing the responses of the people in the apartment?

Anisa

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review. They placed a microphone through the bathroom window and George has the receiver.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
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Hi Barbara:)
Bobby is so enraged that all judgment is gone. He is in a manic state probably fueled by alcohol or drugs. I know this won't end well. With a SWAT team on the way Bobby has no easy out. Even if he surrenders now, he will likely spend many years in prison. Most likely, he will be killed by the SWAT team.

If the police act quickly, Anna should recover, but her injuries are severe. With Bobby and his friends out of the way, she should finally be able to put most of her fears to rest. Best of all she has the support of Troy and his family.

So, I predict a terrible, but deserved, outcome for Bobby and a Good outcome for Anna after a few weeks to heal.

Love and Irish Hugs for powerful writing.

Roger

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and your continued support..
Comment from HPicasso
Excellent
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Another good chapter.
The action moves along well.
Excellent dialogue that conveys the intense emotions of characters on both sides of this situation.
A great writing this chapter where the negotiators got take a look at Anna. Poor Anna. I hope she can survive through all this. The tension is on high alert. Well done!

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Excellent
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Oh boy, heart pounding as I'm reading.
Great post Barbara, you have penned this perfectly. It holds all I would think such a situation would have.

Only saw one little edit. Otherwise perfect reading.
Imagery is strong, and the emotion within the post is elevated and it works well.

Thanks for sharing.
Maureen

Edit Check:

"Thanks, the name's George. Do ( have you) any other suggestions?" he asked as ...// you have

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review. Thank you for catching that. I can't believe I did it.
reply by Maureen's Pen on 09-Apr-2012
    No worries my friend, I never catch my own spag either:)
    Hope you had a great Easter.
    Hugs
    Maureen
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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You handled this really well, Barbara,
clearly showing the scene to your
readers, and just how dangerously brutal
Bobby is. Poor Anna.

Do have you any other suggestions
Do you have....


Margaret

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review. I have made that correction.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
Excellent
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I don't know how the others feel, but Bobby angers me. He's a garbage mouthed brute. I'm looking forward to him getting
what he deserves; don't care if he is a sick in the mind and heart; rabid dogs get shot, he deserves no less.

Could be wrong, but believe the sentence below need [in] in it.
The negotiator turned [in] his direction.

The center quotation mark needs to be removed.
"I need the SWAT team." This is going downhill."

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    I am not sure how the " got there. It's not in my orginal manuscript. Oh well, it's gone now. Thank you for catching it.
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

I held my breath as I read this chapter. I am so afraid that Bobby will kill Anna. He is insane and no telling what he will do. I'm glad Michael is safe for now. Poor Anna she has been beaten so bad but most of all she fears for Michael.You have written this scary chapter with the skill of a good story teller. Well done....blessings, chey

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Chris Tee
Excellent
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Barbara you have me in suspense once more girl. I hope they hit the shit out of Bobby before they kill the bastard, because that is what he deserves. Well done with this part.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.