At Last
It just didn't seem possible77 total reviews
Comment from LovnPeace
What a beautiful story Bob. You did it perfectly. I saw no errors either. What a perfect ending. Is this how you set the stage for your wife also? Blessings, Barbara
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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What a beautiful story Bob. You did it perfectly. I saw no errors either. What a perfect ending. Is this how you set the stage for your wife also? Blessings, Barbara
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks, Barb. No, But I never stop feeling and bringing the romance to our lives as well as she does...Bob
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
There is nothing like a good ole love story to soften the heart, my friend, and this is one of them. Although short, it still is written beautifully. Good luck with this.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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There is nothing like a good ole love story to soften the heart, my friend, and this is one of them. Although short, it still is written beautifully. Good luck with this.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, El Gato. I do appreciate your taking the time...Bob
Comment from adewpearl
Bob, that is so sweet what you said in the author's notes :-) I sure hope your wife has read this. What a romantic, tender story with its little twist at the end. One never would have guessed from the description at the top of the story. I helped her into the car is understated foreshadowing, but of course, at that point, I just thought the narrator was being a gentleman offering his lady his hand.
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Bob, that is so sweet what you said in the author's notes :-) I sure hope your wife has read this. What a romantic, tender story with its little twist at the end. One never would have guessed from the description at the top of the story. I helped her into the car is understated foreshadowing, but of course, at that point, I just thought the narrator was being a gentleman offering his lady his hand.
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks, Brooke. Yes, I know I understated getting in the car as I did escorting her inside because I wanted the surprise ending..Thanks again, Bob
Comment from Max Edon
I thought that this was a very sweet story. I li8ked all the little details y9u added. The ending had a real twist. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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I thought that this was a very sweet story. I li8ked all the little details y9u added. The ending had a real twist. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks a lot, Max. You are so kind to my writing...Bob
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You are welcome!
Comment from Jnetgame
Excellent story, Bob. Lanie is one lucky guy to have found a man like Bill. You described the scene very well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Excellent story, Bob. Lanie is one lucky guy to have found a man like Bill. You described the scene very well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Janet. I appreciate your review and kind words...Bob
Comment from bnd-writenow
What a nice contest entry. You fulfilled the contest requirements.
I like that you came in at 749 words, rather than padding the story. Short stories are one of my favorite reads, and often writers just make them too long!
My only minor suggestion would be to read your dialogue aloud. It feels a little formal in several places, not like real speech between 2 lovers in a limo! I don't see this as a fault in this piece, as the whole story - limo to proposal - is more classic in form. I hesitate to mention this to such an esteemed writer, but I take the chance because I read so much fiction, and truly desire to see this wonderful piece as perfect as possible!
I also like that, although fiction, you wove personal experience into the piece, keeping the feel, real!
Wonderful story! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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What a nice contest entry. You fulfilled the contest requirements.
I like that you came in at 749 words, rather than padding the story. Short stories are one of my favorite reads, and often writers just make them too long!
My only minor suggestion would be to read your dialogue aloud. It feels a little formal in several places, not like real speech between 2 lovers in a limo! I don't see this as a fault in this piece, as the whole story - limo to proposal - is more classic in form. I hesitate to mention this to such an esteemed writer, but I take the chance because I read so much fiction, and truly desire to see this wonderful piece as perfect as possible!
I also like that, although fiction, you wove personal experience into the piece, keeping the feel, real!
Wonderful story! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks for the nice review and comments, bnd. I will definitely take your comments intom consideration...Bob
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Thanks for the nice review and comments, bnd. I will definitely take your comments into consideration...Bob
Comment from BJean
What an encredibly romantic story. I think you must be the epitamy of that big loving teddy bear:) Great story, Bob, I enjoyed reading it with the surprise twist at the end. I saw no mistakes. Love, Jean
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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What an encredibly romantic story. I think you must be the epitamy of that big loving teddy bear:) Great story, Bob, I enjoyed reading it with the surprise twist at the end. I saw no mistakes. Love, Jean
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Jean. How sweet and a wonderful review...Bob
Comment from BethShelby
This is a such a beautiful and romantice Valentine story. The surprise came at the end when you mentioned the wheel chair. This is a good entry for the Valentine story contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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This is a such a beautiful and romantice Valentine story. The surprise came at the end when you mentioned the wheel chair. This is a good entry for the Valentine story contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Beth. I am so glad you liked it...Bob
Comment from Dustman6180
Thanks, Bob, for this heartwarming story. It was very touching that you waited til the end to reveal the wheelchair. It added to the already beautifully described love. Thanks for sharing this and good luck.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks, Bob, for this heartwarming story. It was very touching that you waited til the end to reveal the wheelchair. It added to the already beautifully described love. Thanks for sharing this and good luck.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Dustman. Yes, I like surprise endings...in fact most of my stories have them...Thanks again...Bob
Comment from Mrs Jones
At last
the skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover
the night I looked at you ....I love the way she sings this.
This is beautifully written Bobbie. Only half a carat what a Scrooge. I would give you a six, but I can't.
Great story
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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At last
the skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover
the night I looked at you ....I love the way she sings this.
This is beautifully written Bobbie. Only half a carat what a Scrooge. I would give you a six, but I can't.
Great story
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thanks, Rosie..You are such a sweetheart! Happy Valentine's Day, in case I forget later on. XXXXX0000..Bobbie
