Another Life
Life must be better after death.39 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Charity,
This is a well rhymed poem use full and slant rhymes. It shows how bad depression can become. You chose good artwork for cliff diving is putting you life in God's hands.
I thinks the with in the fourth line should be will. Near the end of the poem, 'is a easy' should be 'is an easy'.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
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Charity,
This is a well rhymed poem use full and slant rhymes. It shows how bad depression can become. You chose good artwork for cliff diving is putting you life in God's hands.
I thinks the with in the fourth line should be will. Near the end of the poem, 'is a easy' should be 'is an easy'.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
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Thank you so much.
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you are most kindly welcome, Charity.
Joan
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
The imagery you have brought into this poem, is incredible. You are doing the right thing writing about what you suffered. Getting it out, lessens the hold on you. Then you have won, you will be the mistress of your own destiny. Well done, Charity. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
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The imagery you have brought into this poem, is incredible. You are doing the right thing writing about what you suffered. Getting it out, lessens the hold on you. Then you have won, you will be the mistress of your own destiny. Well done, Charity. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Frank Malley
Ms. Stewart is distinctive as a poet of despair and pain. She has evolved a style: a string of rhymed statements, each of which expresses pain or despair or muses on being in a better place. In the last line of "Another Place," she writes, maybe I'll be better in another paradise." This implies that she is already in a paradise; from this are we to conclude that paradises can be places of despair? Typically paradises are places of total fulfillment, but let's remember: Lucifer wasn't happy in Paradise.
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reply by the author on 25-May-2022
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Ms. Stewart is distinctive as a poet of despair and pain. She has evolved a style: a string of rhymed statements, each of which expresses pain or despair or muses on being in a better place. In the last line of "Another Place," she writes, maybe I'll be better in another paradise." This implies that she is already in a paradise; from this are we to conclude that paradises can be places of despair? Typically paradises are places of total fulfillment, but let's remember: Lucifer wasn't happy in Paradise.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 25-May-2022
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I appreciate your review.
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I thought "Freestyle" was you. I guess I struggle with rap; as a musician and a writer, my opinion is that rap, like much of pop culture, sells intelligence and art very short. Be well. Frank
Comment from C2
Depression is such a misunderstood and under-diagnosed disease. This is a nice poetic insight into the thinking of a person who suffers from it. Thanks for sharing it!
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Depression is such a misunderstood and under-diagnosed disease. This is a nice poetic insight into the thinking of a person who suffers from it. Thanks for sharing it!
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from Teri7
You have used very good, but very sad descriptive words in your poem. Depression does make you feel like you are in a jail or drowning in a pond you can reach up out of. I went through that for a long time, but somehow I turned to Jesus Christ. My days are brighter and my load seems lighter these days. I still have things come up and bother me, but right then and there I turn them over to Jesus as He is in control of it all! Love, prayers and blessings to you! love, Teri
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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You have used very good, but very sad descriptive words in your poem. Depression does make you feel like you are in a jail or drowning in a pond you can reach up out of. I went through that for a long time, but somehow I turned to Jesus Christ. My days are brighter and my load seems lighter these days. I still have things come up and bother me, but right then and there I turn them over to Jesus as He is in control of it all! Love, prayers and blessings to you! love, Teri
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you for your feedback and advice.
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you are so welcome!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You are filled with a lot of poetic talent. I can't say I enjoyed reading because of the subject, yet your talent shown through. You are capable of finding the exact words to describe the emotion.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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You are filled with a lot of poetic talent. I can't say I enjoyed reading because of the subject, yet your talent shown through. You are capable of finding the exact words to describe the emotion.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you for your kind remarks. I always look forward to you reading my poems.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your poem jumps quickly from one emotion to another, giving the feeling of chaos and spinning. Key words and phrasing like, death, ready to die, sitting on the edge, severe depression, pain, and silent tears convey the seriousness of depression, anxiety, and addiction. Your descriptive language makes the reader feel what you are experiencing. But...When you're dead, you're done. Your second, third, and final chances are over. Fight! Fight! And write.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Your poem jumps quickly from one emotion to another, giving the feeling of chaos and spinning. Key words and phrasing like, death, ready to die, sitting on the edge, severe depression, pain, and silent tears convey the seriousness of depression, anxiety, and addiction. Your descriptive language makes the reader feel what you are experiencing. But...When you're dead, you're done. Your second, third, and final chances are over. Fight! Fight! And write.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Yes writing is so therapeutic. So easy to release all my emotions.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
What an intense poem you have written. I hope you have someone who loves you enough to sit by your side quietly and listen to whatever you need to say or sitting in silence to let you feel his or her presence.
It's a sad but good poem. Please check out my poem on my profile entitled "Back Away from the Brink". It too deals with depression. Thank you for sharing your personal struggles.
Best wishes,
Sandy
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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What an intense poem you have written. I hope you have someone who loves you enough to sit by your side quietly and listen to whatever you need to say or sitting in silence to let you feel his or her presence.
It's a sad but good poem. Please check out my poem on my profile entitled "Back Away from the Brink". It too deals with depression. Thank you for sharing your personal struggles.
Best wishes,
Sandy
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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I did checked out your back away from the brink. I left some feedback on that poem. You been through alot. I was well written. Thank you for your feedback on my poem and sharing. I hope you check out my other poems. Stay strong.
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I will read your poems. Thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Life is precious and those who think it is not worth it are very wrong, but many succumb to death prematurely which is a crime, as so many who have death forced upon them, want to live.
A concentration on oneself is evident throughout this write and caring for others often provides solace and comfort. Mental illness destroys lives and the only one who can make changes is ourselves. Our environment when toxic can help to promote an unstable mental state. Drugs provide momentary escape and often make matters worse but the sufferer can't see their way out of this situation and many die young.
To live well we require courage, determination and the bravery is to be admired, too many people give up on life and in some ways they don't deserve to live if they cannot fight for life. If your words are true then hopelessness is the theme here and I hope you find the courage to make changed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Life is precious and those who think it is not worth it are very wrong, but many succumb to death prematurely which is a crime, as so many who have death forced upon them, want to live.
A concentration on oneself is evident throughout this write and caring for others often provides solace and comfort. Mental illness destroys lives and the only one who can make changes is ourselves. Our environment when toxic can help to promote an unstable mental state. Drugs provide momentary escape and often make matters worse but the sufferer can't see their way out of this situation and many die young.
To live well we require courage, determination and the bravery is to be admired, too many people give up on life and in some ways they don't deserve to live if they cannot fight for life. If your words are true then hopelessness is the theme here and I hope you find the courage to make changed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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I always appreciate your feedback and advice. You know me by now just telling my story.
Comment from Pantygynt
Half way through this depressing piece we have the line: 'Severe depression is not a joke.' Well I was hardly laughing by this stage anyway. The poem uses rhyme both full and slant to good effect and in randomly sized blocks. The effect on the reader is to produce a feeling of chaos reflecting the state of he poet's mind.
This poem is more to be admired than enjoyed.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Half way through this depressing piece we have the line: 'Severe depression is not a joke.' Well I was hardly laughing by this stage anyway. The poem uses rhyme both full and slant to good effect and in randomly sized blocks. The effect on the reader is to produce a feeling of chaos reflecting the state of he poet's mind.
This poem is more to be admired than enjoyed.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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A poem to be admired. I'm really feeling that phrase. Thanks for your feedback.
