Open House, Closed Doors
Monologue Quintet: pre- and post- mortem38 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
I was glad to share your post in private, hiding the trickle down my cheek that would have spoiled my gruff, insensitive, tough-guy image. People, like books, are filled with secret thoughts, feelings, and wishes: those only shared with the fortunate, allowed inside.
Thanks for sharing. It's always a pleasure! I wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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I was glad to share your post in private, hiding the trickle down my cheek that would have spoiled my gruff, insensitive, tough-guy image. People, like books, are filled with secret thoughts, feelings, and wishes: those only shared with the fortunate, allowed inside.
Thanks for sharing. It's always a pleasure! I wish I had a six.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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'm so glad you took the time to read this--most people (not me) pass on scripts.
This is actually the fourth promotion--twice last year March and May and twice in a row now.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
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Oh, wow, cathartic for sure. But she still had to feel people cared about Jim. Hope all is well in your world! :-)
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All's calm, relatively speaking. And in your world?
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All's good here. But as we know, just when it's good, it all goes to hell. LOL. Take care, Ric
Comment from lancellot
There is a good story here and I mean that. This seems to be a revived post from a couple of years ago. I don't know what revisions have been made, but the major ones that are glaring have not.
This 'script' needs major reformatting and revisions. On the site and off site, there many sources that can show how a script is made, the elements, and reasons for them.
What you have is a good story in content, but not good in form. It is basically long monologues
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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There is a good story here and I mean that. This seems to be a revived post from a couple of years ago. I don't know what revisions have been made, but the major ones that are glaring have not.
This 'script' needs major reformatting and revisions. On the site and off site, there many sources that can show how a script is made, the elements, and reasons for them.
What you have is a good story in content, but not good in form. It is basically long monologues
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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True--it is revived and I am unable to amend the text--no writing privileges. Otherwise, I would make clear that this monologue "script" is intended merely for "no-budget performance"--aka actors' workshop reading!
Comment from Susan Newell
Elizabeth,
This is spectacular. I can associate with this on so many levels. I suppose everyone who reads this will have had their own experiences with a "Jim," with cancer and chemo, plus the other characters. The changes in perspectives only added to the Mystery of Jim. Kudos. I'm glad you promoted it again.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Elizabeth,
This is spectacular. I can associate with this on so many levels. I suppose everyone who reads this will have had their own experiences with a "Jim," with cancer and chemo, plus the other characters. The changes in perspectives only added to the Mystery of Jim. Kudos. I'm glad you promoted it again.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Delightful ssssssurprise! Double treat--you are also the magic #26 reviewer.
Thanks for stopping by Susan! I'm so glad you took the time to read this--most people (not me) pass on scripts.
This is actually the fourth promotion--twice last year March and May and twice in a row now.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Elizabeth:
Your friend, Jim's, birthday is the same as my husband's. It is sad when someone decides he/she cannot accept the same gifts they are so willing to share with others. Thanks for sharing this story.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Elizabeth:
Your friend, Jim's, birthday is the same as my husband's. It is sad when someone decides he/she cannot accept the same gifts they are so willing to share with others. Thanks for sharing this story.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 24-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Thanks for stopping by!
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
This story reminds me of being a caregiver to my wife for seven years when she was attacked by cancer. I can imagine how Jim felt about the chemo infusion.
From this story, having a friends is. Wry valuable.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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This story reminds me of being a caregiver to my wife for seven years when she was attacked by cancer. I can imagine how Jim felt about the chemo infusion.
From this story, having a friends is. Wry valuable.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 23-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
Dreadful! Did your wife survive?
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
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She passed away.
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So sorry.
Comment from AnnaLinda
Liz,
I feel a little uncomfortable to come here and not have an additional star to offer this dedication script to Jim. There are so many genius written parts/talent in this as well as raw emotions.
I learned a lot about him as well as your kind and giving heart - challenges in life and how Jim was there for you just as you were there for him.
This one stanza alone is worth a million stars:
"I am but a shell of my pre-sickness self. And my pre-sickness self was but a shell of a self. Which makes me now a shell of a shell. I've always kept in my shell, my shell of a self. My shadow emerges just often enough to deflect attention from the me I want no one to see. My simple trick: Distract them with themselves; whoever can resist an indulgent ear?"
Gee, how I can relate to the above and to:
"This shell game of mine works to my advantage; moreover, it benefits those I so solicitously attend so as to forestall their turning their focus to me."
Gee...let the dime decide. I'm so sorry that he died by himself and I send my condolences to you and a belated Happy Birthday to Jim.
AnnaLinda
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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Liz,
I feel a little uncomfortable to come here and not have an additional star to offer this dedication script to Jim. There are so many genius written parts/talent in this as well as raw emotions.
I learned a lot about him as well as your kind and giving heart - challenges in life and how Jim was there for you just as you were there for him.
This one stanza alone is worth a million stars:
"I am but a shell of my pre-sickness self. And my pre-sickness self was but a shell of a self. Which makes me now a shell of a shell. I've always kept in my shell, my shell of a self. My shadow emerges just often enough to deflect attention from the me I want no one to see. My simple trick: Distract them with themselves; whoever can resist an indulgent ear?"
Gee, how I can relate to the above and to:
"This shell game of mine works to my advantage; moreover, it benefits those I so solicitously attend so as to forestall their turning their focus to me."
Gee...let the dime decide. I'm so sorry that he died by himself and I send my condolences to you and a belated Happy Birthday to Jim.
AnnaLinda
Comment Written 23-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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AnnaLinda--I am awed by your words. As for the bonussssss, it's the thought that counts.
I'm delighted that you chanced upon this no-can-tell script. Fate has smiled upon me.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
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AnnaLinda--I am awed by your words. As for the bonussssss, it's the thought that counts.
I'm delighted that you chanced upon this no-can-tell script. Fate has smiled upon me.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
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Liz,
So interesting about Jim remaining in his shell.
Would you mind giving the name of Jim's sister and new member here?
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She's not active on the site--I just spoke to her.
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Ok...
Comment from Wendy G
This is an excellent - and unusual story. Your understanding, and your wit and skill with words really made Jim come to life (sorry, not exactly appropriate term to use!). An unusual person who was nevertheless cared for and about by several.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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This is an excellent - and unusual story. Your understanding, and your wit and skill with words really made Jim come to life (sorry, not exactly appropriate term to use!). An unusual person who was nevertheless cared for and about by several.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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I am awed by your words. As for the bonussssss, it's the thought that counts.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
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That's so good that she found your writing so cathartic. Must have been very difficult for her to process his inscrutability. Good for you.
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Indeed--he was just as private with her. He never acknowleged any romantic relationships, which he may/not have had.
Comment from royowen
I've lost several friends and a brother to cancer, this sneaky, miscreant disease, born from the pits of hell, and nurtured in the bodies of unsuspecting people, whether we deserve it or not, I'll leave to others tender mercies. I think your script could be performed by one person narrating as several characters, I think it's rather good Liz, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : And when my (wife) was touch and go. Life?
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
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I've lost several friends and a brother to cancer, this sneaky, miscreant disease, born from the pits of hell, and nurtured in the bodies of unsuspecting people, whether we deserve it or not, I'll leave to others tender mercies. I think your script could be performed by one person narrating as several characters, I think it's rather good Liz, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : And when my (wife) was touch and go. Life?
Comment Written 23-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
I'm delighted that you chanced upon this no-can-tell script. Fate has smiled upon me.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
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I meant wife.
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Mmmh OK
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There you are. Empathetic and sensitive too.
Comment from Tpa
I thought you used a unique to tell your story. I have in my lifetime met a character like Jim, strong, independent, kind to others.
Although, the story was lengthy; I enjoyed the inner thoughts of each character. The feelings of caring about someone who wanted to keep his distance.
AS always, it is a delight to venture into your talents with the reward of an entertaining story.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2021
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I thought you used a unique to tell your story. I have in my lifetime met a character like Jim, strong, independent, kind to others.
Although, the story was lengthy; I enjoyed the inner thoughts of each character. The feelings of caring about someone who wanted to keep his distance.
AS always, it is a delight to venture into your talents with the reward of an entertaining story.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2021
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Thank you!
I'm so glad you took the time to read this--most people (not me) pass on scripts.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
This is a beautifully written script. I have a keen understanding of Jim being an extremely private person and having many friends but no one close.
Thank you for sharing your story and like his party friends, getting to know Jim.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2021
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This is a beautifully written script. I have a keen understanding of Jim being an extremely private person and having many friends but no one close.
Thank you for sharing your story and like his party friends, getting to know Jim.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 23-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2021
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Delightful ssssssurprise!
Thanks for stopping by Mary! I'm so glad you took the time to read this--most people (not me) pass on scripts.
I would have loved to get inside Jim's head--he was inscrutable in life, and alas, when I channeled him for the script he remained stubbornly secretive. All other characters I've invoked in my years of writing have been entirely forthcoming--indeed, they spew shocking revelations such as I could never have imagined! Cheers. LIZ
Eerie coincidence--I met Jim's sister at the funeral and we stayed in touch, I told her about StoryLand, she expressed interest... a few weeks later she joined ... guess what she found featured on my profile! Blindsided and overwhelmed with emotion, she didn't write a review--she called to let me know she'd found it powerful and cathartic.
