Reviews from

Living the Lie

Army basic training experience

16 total reviews 
Comment from humpwhistle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Funny, Bill, I was going to suggest that you either shorten this, or expand on it. Seems you've already decided.

My lottery number came up 323, but by then, I'd already gotten my Conscientious Objector status. If drafted, I'd still have to serve, but in a non-combat capacity. But with a 323, I was in the clear.

I too have an older brother who served. He made it through boot camp by ironing other maggots' uniforms. Made a little pocket change, too.

Thanks for the tour, Maggot!

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
    Thanks for reading Lee and for your feedback and suggestions. Enjoyed the story about your brother. Long story, but with expansion, I'll talk about why I backed out of ROTC and going into the military as a Lieutenant.
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a great ending to your story. I really enjoyed reading about your experiences and wish you good luck in the competition.

I did find a few spags, all very minor stuff. I hope you don't mind that I've listed them here and please feel free to ignore any and/or all of them.

Did you ever think your Country lies? - This should be either 'Did you ever think your Country lied' or 'Do you ever think your Country lies'

watching the first inaugural Vietnam war draft - delete 'first'

In the room with me were perhaps one-hundred people - delete hyphen

At the time, just one television - do you mean 'one television station'?

In other words, I was 'effed." - put in single quotes - 'effed'

In 1971, The Federal Government told me a blatant lie - I think 'The' should be lower-case

My friends wanted to me hang out for a while in college - '... wanted me to...'

It looked like I had a good chance on going to graduate school - 'good chance of going'

A couple of my favorite professor's made a good dedicated push - delete apostrophe

The chubby, squinty eyed, mean spirited, draft board commissioner - hyphenate 'squinty-eyed' and 'mean-spirited'. Delete comma after 'mean-spirited'

certainly didn't want to follow some people I knew who went North, (Canada). - delete comma

The company clerks and truck drivers are in the 'Nam'. - did they say 'the Nam or just 'Nam'?

I company clerked - should be 'I company-clerked'

The medic just checked him off and hollered, "Next.!" - delete period after 'next'

Listen sometime to Arlo Guthrie's riff on Alice's restaurant. - Alice's Restaurant

I asked one of the drill sergeants a question about a disorderly conduct charge and night in jail of my own. - I don't really understand this sentence. Is there a word missing?

What an eclectic group, we were represented by folks from West-Central, Georgia, Chicago, Puerto Rico and West Virginia. - period after 'group'

I helped him any-way. - should be 'anyway'

haul it all out for not being, 'stowed' away correctly. - delete comma

We were told, "You may as well throw out your civilian clothing, you won't need them for nine weeks." - period after 'clothing'

I put mine neatly away in the small locker space entitled, 'Personal Items' - delete comma

I had to muse, "Thanks, Bro.!" - delete period

Regards
Judy


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Thanks -- I don't normally take so long, but haven't been on FS much. Thanks for reading and your kind comments!
Comment from Lance S. Loria
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I recall the draft...number 21 for me. I went into ROTC. An enjoyable story even though I felt your pain. I love the "Butts Only" story. No edits or adjustments necessary.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
    Thanks Lance - both for reading and for your kind comments. I appreciate both! Bill
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

All governments lie, especially when they are relying on the citizens to fight the wars they have managed to cultivate, or create for one reason or another. WW1 started because two cousins who just happened to be kings of their respective countries could not get along. Oh, I know that is not the official line!
I really enjoyed your story, it made me feel pretty glad that I am female.
'Drill sergeants' a universal problem.

Warmly,


Juliette

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
    Hi Juliette - thanks for reading and your kind comments. I appreciate both. Bill
Comment from Jerome Goldberg
Excellent
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Atten Hup!! You did a great job describing a part of the universe that many never get to experience. And you did it with a degree of fairness and humor. I just can't help wondering how many Fanstory members are from West Virginia?

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
    Thanks for reading and your comments. I'm sure that quite a few are from West-by-God Virginia!
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Fortunately I missed call up twice,because of age being months too you or the same too old,my brother however won the lottery, was trained in jungle warfare, and was headed to Vietnam,for combat, duty, was wounded and returned to Australia, but I never saw a more fit individual. Well done, an excellent post my friend, loved it, good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo : You(r) unit will be filled by scum.

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 Comment Written 26-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
    Thanks Roy - first for reading and then for your kind comments. I do appreciate both! Bill
reply by royowen on 26-Jun-2019
    Most welcome Bill