Yellow Skies
A scary day in my young years.23 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
I've seen that sky several times - tinged with green - and lived to tell about it, like you and yours. Your story is wonderfully tense and beautifully told. I have noticed only one tiny edit that's needed - the word wherever - it's all one word - third to last paragraph.
Best of luck in the contest - this should do well!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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I've seen that sky several times - tinged with green - and lived to tell about it, like you and yours. Your story is wonderfully tense and beautifully told. I have noticed only one tiny edit that's needed - the word wherever - it's all one word - third to last paragraph.
Best of luck in the contest - this should do well!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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Thank you. Thanks for the constructive remark. Originally, I typed the word wherever as one word. One of the reviewers than told me it should be two words. I'm inclined to agree with you. I think it should be one word and I am going to change it back.
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Hmmm, that's the problem with not having to qualify before reviewing I guess - no, I am quite sure it is one word. You were right. I have been in the same situation occasionally too, the seed of doubt planted by someone who is (possibly) trying to find something constructive to say...???
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
What a great post this is. The tension was palpable as I read through your preparations for the storm. You could win this competition with this excellent account because it was very gripping for the reader, Giddy
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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What a great post this is. The tension was palpable as I read through your preparations for the storm. You could win this competition with this excellent account because it was very gripping for the reader, Giddy
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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Thank you. Thanks for the six stars. That was a scary day for us. We who live in Michigan are not used to storms of this nature. Snow is what we are used to. LOL
Comment from Sun
I really liked the first part of the story, there is some mystery and a sense of something ominous coming.
I think the time spent in the cellar could be expanded upon.
The final conclusion section is good as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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I really liked the first part of the story, there is some mystery and a sense of something ominous coming.
I think the time spent in the cellar could be expanded upon.
The final conclusion section is good as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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Thank you. I always appreciate constructive criticism.
Comment from RodG
Around here a tornado sky turns a strange blue green. I had never heard of a yellow sky until this story.
Good dramatic lead-up as father and brothers all seem to know what's going to happen except the 10-year-old child. Tense build-up as everyone waits in root cellar.
In my opinion the last paragraph is superfluous.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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Around here a tornado sky turns a strange blue green. I had never heard of a yellow sky until this story.
Good dramatic lead-up as father and brothers all seem to know what's going to happen except the 10-year-old child. Tense build-up as everyone waits in root cellar.
In my opinion the last paragraph is superfluous.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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Thank you. I appreciate your helpful feedback. The sky really was a bright yellow. I have never seen anything like it before or since. We don't have too many severe storms in Michigan. Lots of snow, though.
Comment from DonandVicki
I can relate to this story as I was raised in northern Ohio and had similar experiences with the tornadoes. My Grandfathers home was torn apart by one. Exciting story.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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I can relate to this story as I was raised in northern Ohio and had similar experiences with the tornadoes. My Grandfathers home was torn apart by one. Exciting story.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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Thank you. There are a few tornados in Michigan but they are not too common. I have lived my whole life in Michigan and that is the closest I have ever been to a tornado.
Comment from trumby
weather can definitely be pretty scarey.
tornadoes , floods, cyclones
very well written.
At times, I felt like I was there on the scene
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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weather can definitely be pretty scarey.
tornadoes , floods, cyclones
very well written.
At times, I felt like I was there on the scene
Comment Written 06-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016
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Thank you. It was a scary experience for a child like me.
Comment from barleygirl
What an awesome description! I was spellbound from top to bottom. I love the way you SHOWED what was going on by describing how all the creatures were behaving. There's a perfect blend of mature descriptive passages, combined with language that is appropriate for a child. I also loved the realistic details of life on the farm. This would HAVE to be a true story. Nobody could make this up. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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What an awesome description! I was spellbound from top to bottom. I love the way you SHOWED what was going on by describing how all the creatures were behaving. There's a perfect blend of mature descriptive passages, combined with language that is appropriate for a child. I also loved the realistic details of life on the farm. This would HAVE to be a true story. Nobody could make this up. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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Thank you. This is every bit a true story. I am seventy now but I have never forgotten that long ago dayl
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I witnessed a tornado in Illinois in 1957. It went through our town two blocks north of where I lived. It was very scary.I get chills again remembering. I enjoyed your story very much Author, Well done. xsx Nancy
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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I witnessed a tornado in Illinois in 1957. It went through our town two blocks north of where I lived. It was very scary.I get chills again remembering. I enjoyed your story very much Author, Well done. xsx Nancy
Comment Written 06-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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Thank you. I'm glad I live in Michigan. Tornados are very rare here. I here about all those terrible storms down south and it makes me glad to live in this cold north country,
Comment from pegesusunicorn
oh my can i relate to that, it was like reading my own feelings as the tornado decimated louisville and jumped over to our side of the river. I've never seen so much damage done my mother nature of this kind, but I learned of respect her that day. I enjoyed this, thank you
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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oh my can i relate to that, it was like reading my own feelings as the tornado decimated louisville and jumped over to our side of the river. I've never seen so much damage done my mother nature of this kind, but I learned of respect her that day. I enjoyed this, thank you
Comment Written 06-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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Thank you. Glad you liked the story.
Comment from royowen
Well done, a most enjoyable essay on the time leading up to, and the time during and the aftermath of a rampaging tornado, it was fortunate the dad had remembered all the signs of the approaching storm and to know what to do in preparation for the onslaught. I loved it, the decriptive text was excellent and expressive presentation was vivid and well written, the characters were also great, well done, good luck, Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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Well done, a most enjoyable essay on the time leading up to, and the time during and the aftermath of a rampaging tornado, it was fortunate the dad had remembered all the signs of the approaching storm and to know what to do in preparation for the onslaught. I loved it, the decriptive text was excellent and expressive presentation was vivid and well written, the characters were also great, well done, good luck, Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2016
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Thank you. It was a scary day for us.
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I'll bet, well done
