Bed Times With Nursery Rhymes
Please know this is not for children to read.21 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wow! What a powerful poem about child abuse. The fact that you used children's lulu byes makes the message much more believable and horrible. Child abuse happens a lot and maybe another victim of abuse will read your poem and feel he or she is not alone anymore. You are a very strong and brave person to open yourself in this forum but I must say there are really kind people here that care about each other. I just wrote a poem about incest and child abuse called 'broken dreams'. I think it is important to bring this message into the light but it is more powerful when it comes from a survivor. Well done!
Gypsy
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Wow! What a powerful poem about child abuse. The fact that you used children's lulu byes makes the message much more believable and horrible. Child abuse happens a lot and maybe another victim of abuse will read your poem and feel he or she is not alone anymore. You are a very strong and brave person to open yourself in this forum but I must say there are really kind people here that care about each other. I just wrote a poem about incest and child abuse called 'broken dreams'. I think it is important to bring this message into the light but it is more powerful when it comes from a survivor. Well done!
Gypsy
Comment Written 12-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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My sincerest gratitude is deeply appreciated for such a compassionate review. I am in total agreement with you on the importance of bringing the world into the realization of how destructive this evil disease has inflicted directly or indirectly, 90% of today's over 7 billion human beings! It is so sad. Thank you for the compliment about being very strong and brave. I hardly feel that, but hearing this said to me, carries me safely to another day. My ultimate goal, before moving on, is to serve a purpose to be able to believe I have saved at least one young innocent life from becoming a statistic. Please know that there is no such thing as a "Survivor", of child abuse. The word is, "Sufferer", of child abuse. There isn't one pill, operation, cure or professional mental health worker than can take my illness away and tell me that I'm all better now. If a person is breathing, that person is a survivor. If one is diagnosed with cancer, undergoes treatment and is eventually declared cancer free, well, then they become a survivor of beating cancer, although a sufferer as well. Victims of abuse, in any form,....... I'm sorry. This happens to me all of the time, where my mind gets locked behind the prison bars. I have mastered the art of escape, though and I think it's time to sneak away while I can. LOL...again! If your poem, "Broken Dreams" is in your portfolio, I will read it before night's end! Until again! oooo (hugs)
Comment from Eric1
Hi Mystery Author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, This is a very poignant story in a poem with a lot of sad things in it, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2015
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Hi Mystery Author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, This is a very poignant story in a poem with a lot of sad things in it, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2015
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Thank you, so very much! I really enjoyed writing this and the happy ending seemed to make it such a fun piece to share. I am thrilled that you liked it. Thank you again, and please know that this "Laughter" contest is being voted on now, in case you would like to participate. Enjoy your evening!
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You are very welcome my friend, and I will look in.
Comment from Sambangi
Your story mostly as a child is well narrated through this poem. I understand you had terrible life as a child, so that dominated in this poem. Your author notes and image complemented the poem very well. All the best
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Your story mostly as a child is well narrated through this poem. I understand you had terrible life as a child, so that dominated in this poem. Your author notes and image complemented the poem very well. All the best
Comment Written 11-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you so very much for this kind review. The subject is a bit shocking and I appreciate your compassion. Please accept my apologies for the delay in returning this gratitude. Thank you, again.
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You are welcome
Comment from alvina224224
What a poignant, and clever poem, author. Learning of people like you, my heart bruises that such horrors can be perpetrated. The hurt is replaced by happiness when you describe your present life, 'surrounded by flowers.' My mother often said :"There is nothing wrong with this world, except the people in it." Good writing.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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What a poignant, and clever poem, author. Learning of people like you, my heart bruises that such horrors can be perpetrated. The hurt is replaced by happiness when you describe your present life, 'surrounded by flowers.' My mother often said :"There is nothing wrong with this world, except the people in it." Good writing.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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I apologize for the delay in returning my appreciation for this wonderful review. Thank you so much for showing compassion!
Comment from LanceHill
Thank you for sharing. The sad emotions can be seen in your words. No person should ever have to go through that. Sorry that you did. God bless.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you for sharing. The sad emotions can be seen in your words. No person should ever have to go through that. Sorry that you did. God bless.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you so very much for the kind words and the great review on my poem. I apologize for the delay in returning my gratitude.
Comment from Manic Mike
wow...
I don't really care for structure in traditional poetry unless it's capable of moving me and this one did just that. This is not just about being clever it's really deep too.
Objectively speaking, I love taking and borrowing from other artists, and I think this aspect of the poem adds a lot of color to it.
On a philosophical level, I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and you wouldn't be the same person without these terrible events. Instead of thinking of yourself as a victim, which I don't think you do, think of yourself as a soldier who came out alive at the other end with metals of bravery on your chest. Six stars for this masterpiece.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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wow...
I don't really care for structure in traditional poetry unless it's capable of moving me and this one did just that. This is not just about being clever it's really deep too.
Objectively speaking, I love taking and borrowing from other artists, and I think this aspect of the poem adds a lot of color to it.
On a philosophical level, I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and you wouldn't be the same person without these terrible events. Instead of thinking of yourself as a victim, which I don't think you do, think of yourself as a soldier who came out alive at the other end with metals of bravery on your chest. Six stars for this masterpiece.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Hello, again, Manic Mike
This comes to you as another apology for a delayed note of appreciation for this 6- star rank that you so kindly pinned to my poem. I am overwhelmed by your compassionate review and heart filled words of inspiration. The warm caring people like you in this world, carry me to my next day, with a smile on my face. Thank you so very much!
Comment from NJK62
I always find it difficult to comment on poems rooted so deeply in personal experience, because they do so much more than communicate to the reader, which is equally as important. Nevertheless, having read your poem I did want to say the following.
I think this poem succeeds in conveying the horror of the situation you describe. It works largely because of the juxtaposition of the lines from nursery rhymes and the interior monologue of the victim. There are two different worlds and perspectives here: the world of the innocence of the child and the sordid world of the abuser and abused. I think the use of rhyming couplets adds to this effect: the device being common in rhymes written for children. Generally the rhymes are unforced though I felt there was an awkwardness and sense of meaning being forced in the line 'My little girl rhymes scarred my face to a frown.' (How about something like 'My little girl rhymes turned my innocent smiles to endless frowns') This, however, did not mar the overall effect of the poem. I also thought the lack of rhythmical consistency enhanced at times the effect of the poem: particularly effective was the line 'I listen. He's close. He says to lay still'. The use of short sentences broken by pauses creates a sense of breathlessness, fear and tension. Finally, I disagree with the reviewer who suggested the omission of the final couplet. The penultimate and final couplets introduce a tone of optimism and renewal. 'These rhymes are all new' suggests that they are no longer associated with being a victim: the speaker is in a place now where nursery rhymes (old and new) have lost their association with pain and can now be enjoyed and even laughed at ('They're really quite funny').
All-in-all this is an effective poem about a difficult subject. I wonder if you would be interested in my poem 'Words' which I recently posted on a similar (though not the same subject). I would be very keen to hear your response. Nigel.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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I always find it difficult to comment on poems rooted so deeply in personal experience, because they do so much more than communicate to the reader, which is equally as important. Nevertheless, having read your poem I did want to say the following.
I think this poem succeeds in conveying the horror of the situation you describe. It works largely because of the juxtaposition of the lines from nursery rhymes and the interior monologue of the victim. There are two different worlds and perspectives here: the world of the innocence of the child and the sordid world of the abuser and abused. I think the use of rhyming couplets adds to this effect: the device being common in rhymes written for children. Generally the rhymes are unforced though I felt there was an awkwardness and sense of meaning being forced in the line 'My little girl rhymes scarred my face to a frown.' (How about something like 'My little girl rhymes turned my innocent smiles to endless frowns') This, however, did not mar the overall effect of the poem. I also thought the lack of rhythmical consistency enhanced at times the effect of the poem: particularly effective was the line 'I listen. He's close. He says to lay still'. The use of short sentences broken by pauses creates a sense of breathlessness, fear and tension. Finally, I disagree with the reviewer who suggested the omission of the final couplet. The penultimate and final couplets introduce a tone of optimism and renewal. 'These rhymes are all new' suggests that they are no longer associated with being a victim: the speaker is in a place now where nursery rhymes (old and new) have lost their association with pain and can now be enjoyed and even laughed at ('They're really quite funny').
All-in-all this is an effective poem about a difficult subject. I wonder if you would be interested in my poem 'Words' which I recently posted on a similar (though not the same subject). I would be very keen to hear your response. Nigel.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Wow. I am rarely without the ability to come back quickly with a response to a conversation with anyone. I am just mesmerized by the fact that you captured every single line and was able to feel and understand the sadness and state of confusion I was as a child. You carefully described your visuals and REALLY listened to what you read. I thank you, sincerely, for your impressions and opinions of my writing that help me hear what is being said in my mind. LOL! Does that make sense? Anyway, I look forward to reading 'Words', and I will certainly leave you a response. Thank you, once again! sue
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No problem. Pleased my comments made sense! Nigel.
Comment from Tessa Kay
A very poignant poem. Child abuse is a horrid thing and I'm glad you seem to have been able to not let it affect you to your detriment.
The linking of the nursery rhyme and the reality is haunting.
Very well done. A difficult topic, very well handled.
:)
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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A very poignant poem. Child abuse is a horrid thing and I'm glad you seem to have been able to not let it affect you to your detriment.
The linking of the nursery rhyme and the reality is haunting.
Very well done. A difficult topic, very well handled.
:)
Comment Written 16-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Tessa, first, please accept my apology for the delay in returning a note of appreciation to you. Your kind words and this 6-star rating mean the world to me. Thank you, sincerely.
Comment from robyn corum
I was very impressed by your skill at creating this poem from the beginnings of old nursery rhymes. But I - personally - think it might end better without the last two lines. They seem to detract from your message. (Just one person's opinion!)
Thanks for sharing this powerful piece.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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I was very impressed by your skill at creating this poem from the beginnings of old nursery rhymes. But I - personally - think it might end better without the last two lines. They seem to detract from your message. (Just one person's opinion!)
Thanks for sharing this powerful piece.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Hi. Please accept my apology for the delay in returning my thank you note. Your kind words and wonderful review are so appreciated. Thank you, so much!
Comment from ProSongwriter
A very powerful poem. This is probably a lot more common than we realize. Sad, but probably true anyway.
I am delighted the scars are mostly gone now. It's not an easy healing process. I'm a professional songwriter and about 10 years ago I wrote a song about this subject ... "Give Me Wings". A little girl prays God will give her wings so she can escape the ritual of abuse and fly to Heaven.
I'm guessing this was difficult for you to write. But often, writing is a very cathartic experience. A masterful poem about a dark subject. Nicely done!
Best to you ...
Alan
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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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A very powerful poem. This is probably a lot more common than we realize. Sad, but probably true anyway.
I am delighted the scars are mostly gone now. It's not an easy healing process. I'm a professional songwriter and about 10 years ago I wrote a song about this subject ... "Give Me Wings". A little girl prays God will give her wings so she can escape the ritual of abuse and fly to Heaven.
I'm guessing this was difficult for you to write. But often, writing is a very cathartic experience. A masterful poem about a dark subject. Nicely done!
Best to you ...
Alan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Hi. I apologize for such an untimely thank you for your terrific review. I wish that I could spend all of my time here, but I have 2 other priorities that take up so much of my time right now. I appreciate your compassion so much and wow, I wish that I could hear your song! If there is any way I can, please tell how.
Thanks again, sue
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You are welcome. I fully understand the time away from the site. I, too, have be away often ... sometimes for several weeks at a time.
At the moment, do not have a copy of that song t post. I took it down several years ago, but will look for it and if I find it, I'll repost it and notify you.
Best to you ...
Alan
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Thanks, Alan!
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:)
