Rabbit
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Rabbit, Chapter One"A Boy's Story of the rural South
50 total reviews
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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 A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review. |
Comment Written 09-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Thanks for the honor!
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Bill Long time between contacts, my friend. I am so pleased to see you are starting a novel. Bravo! I think you were ready long ago myself. Congrats on being up for Book of The Month too.
I loved your prologue and further your imagery throughout is splendid:
"I looked again. The heat shimmer disappeared as he got closer, and I could tell that it was an old black man. He was not a large man. He had some height, but was quite slim. There were crinkles around his large expressive eyes. His teeth, when smiling, looked like the keys on my grandma's piano. He was dressed in the same fashion as I always saw him from that day on. On the top of his head was a sweat stained railroad engineer's cap. He had on a pair of blue denim overalls, and a long sleeve blue and white striped cotton shirt. On his feet were scuffed brown leather brogans"
Keep up the great work. Bob
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Hi, Bill Long time between contacts, my friend. I am so pleased to see you are starting a novel. Bravo! I think you were ready long ago myself. Congrats on being up for Book of The Month too.
I loved your prologue and further your imagery throughout is splendid:
"I looked again. The heat shimmer disappeared as he got closer, and I could tell that it was an old black man. He was not a large man. He had some height, but was quite slim. There were crinkles around his large expressive eyes. His teeth, when smiling, looked like the keys on my grandma's piano. He was dressed in the same fashion as I always saw him from that day on. On the top of his head was a sweat stained railroad engineer's cap. He had on a pair of blue denim overalls, and a long sleeve blue and white striped cotton shirt. On his feet were scuffed brown leather brogans"
Keep up the great work. Bob
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Thank you very much Bob. It has been awhile between contacts. I hope all is well with you! Bill
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Yeah....just been goofing off for a while. finishing that book took a lot of "juice" out of me" as it were. LOL...Bob
Comment from beccabootie123
the story continues and still I am enjoying it, keep it coming love the relationship between the boy n the hired help. characters and setting well visucalized. flows nicely good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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the story continues and still I am enjoying it, keep it coming love the relationship between the boy n the hired help. characters and setting well visucalized. flows nicely good luck in the contest
Comment Written 04-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thank you very much for reading and your kind feedback. I hope you are able to read some of the other chapters! Warm regards, Bill
Comment from Carrie Carson
Love this story, get the easy pace of a slow summer days in the South.
No spag, interesting use of bookends.
I wondered about the "fiction" note because I sensed it was more personal than that. Great job. :) Carrie
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Love this story, get the easy pace of a slow summer days in the South.
No spag, interesting use of bookends.
I wondered about the "fiction" note because I sensed it was more personal than that. Great job. :) Carrie
Comment Written 04-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Hi Carrie - your instincts are pretty good. Since I've killed a brain cell or two since then, it seemed simpler to write as fiction. Thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed. Bill
Comment from Judy Couch
This book chapter is excellent. I enjoyed the comparison of being thrown into a brier patch. It sets the reader up to like the story even before he begins reading. I liked the description of Virge's teeth "they looked like he keys on grandma's piano." I can visualize the boy who hung out with Virge that summer.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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This book chapter is excellent. I enjoyed the comparison of being thrown into a brier patch. It sets the reader up to like the story even before he begins reading. I liked the description of Virge's teeth "they looked like he keys on grandma's piano." I can visualize the boy who hung out with Virge that summer.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thank you very much for your kind review! Bill
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
Very well written piece that really captures the readers's attention. Can see there is an element of personal history. After all, writers write about something they have knowledge on. Very nice piece.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2013
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Very well written piece that really captures the readers's attention. Can see there is an element of personal history. After all, writers write about something they have knowledge on. Very nice piece.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2013
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback! Bill
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
A delightful story, getting tings off to a lively start in your book.
The matter of anothe prergnancy and the soon event of birth is imilar to the 1930s in my family. Mid wives attended us all except the youngest, a girl. My parents sent us al to grandparents during teh labor and ordeal.
Don
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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A delightful story, getting tings off to a lively start in your book.
The matter of anothe prergnancy and the soon event of birth is imilar to the 1930s in my family. Mid wives attended us all except the youngest, a girl. My parents sent us al to grandparents during teh labor and ordeal.
Don
Comment Written 28-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Hi Don - some things change, but perhaps not for the better. Being sent away was probably good for all. Thanks for reading. I hope you get a chance to read some of the other chapters. Chapter 8 still has some good points attached. Regards, Bill
Comment from aahana.arora98
Excellent work..
this work explains to me that you are a great great writer...
May god bless you
This the best work i have read today..
and this story expalins many truths..
it sounds that its less a fictonal but a true story
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Excellent work..
this work explains to me that you are a great great writer...
May god bless you
This the best work i have read today..
and this story expalins many truths..
it sounds that its less a fictonal but a true story
Comment Written 28-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Thank you very much for reading and your kind words. It is a work of fiction, but very much based on actual events. It's just at age 63, many of my brain cells are gone. Hard to create a non-fiction word for word. Regards, Bill
Comment from TOMORAL
This is my kind of story. Takes me back to the time I lived with my grandmother and an old black man used to walk down the dirt road she lived on. Never got to know him, but you bring back memories.
All that said, this is a book I will follow and read. Your easy style is reminiscent of a John Grisham novel. He is my favorite author. Absolutely terrific first chapter.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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This is my kind of story. Takes me back to the time I lived with my grandmother and an old black man used to walk down the dirt road she lived on. Never got to know him, but you bring back memories.
All that said, this is a book I will follow and read. Your easy style is reminiscent of a John Grisham novel. He is my favorite author. Absolutely terrific first chapter.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Thanks for reading and your kind comments. John Grisham is one of my favorites as well. Did you ever read his work, "The Painted House." Very much different from his usual legal theme. Regards, Bill
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I was just thinking this reminds me of the young boy in Painted House. Lovely..
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If you like that type of work, I highly recommend an author, Ferrel Sams. His first novel is "Run With the Horseman." A wonderful story of growing up in rural Georgia. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from marion
Hi there
First, congratulations on your selection! I enjoyed Chapter 1 of your novel. I am glad to have been able to read the prologue and Chapter 1 together. I give you six stars for the name of your novel and the fact that Rabbit is the name of the lead character, Bill. I like how he derived his name. The prologue was gripping and encouraged you to read on. The fact Bill's mother could not cope and was shipping off her 'boys'.
I like your writing style. It's good to read a different style of writing for a book. It's more how I have begun my first novel for YA. My main character is 'Pipi' (a shell fish) and he too derives his nick-name in an unusual way. Good Luck in the contest. Marion.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Hi there
First, congratulations on your selection! I enjoyed Chapter 1 of your novel. I am glad to have been able to read the prologue and Chapter 1 together. I give you six stars for the name of your novel and the fact that Rabbit is the name of the lead character, Bill. I like how he derived his name. The prologue was gripping and encouraged you to read on. The fact Bill's mother could not cope and was shipping off her 'boys'.
I like your writing style. It's good to read a different style of writing for a book. It's more how I have begun my first novel for YA. My main character is 'Pipi' (a shell fish) and he too derives his nick-name in an unusual way. Good Luck in the contest. Marion.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2013
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Thanks for reading Marion and for your very generous rating. We don't get many sixes, so I'm always humbled to get one. Bill
