Old but not Forgotten
how it is to be old28 total reviews
Comment from missy98writer
Deborah,
what a profound poem with excellent descriptive writing, bitter-sweet narrative and very good cadience. Lovley art work you picked. Effective use of alliteration. I especially enjoyed the lines: "I want to ask you to hav epatience with me try to remembrer the times when you were learning how to do things for the first time and I was right beside you holding your hand giving you support and guidence till you couldl stand on your own as I get older and more feeble please be gentle with me I'll make pleanty of mistake and do things slower maybe even be crankier than I was before but I will sitll nedd to be treated with a measure of respect and be told that you love me no matter how oldi I get." Aging sucks. I'm saddened when folks treating older people direcpectful. So what granny is blunt. Or she tells it like it is, she's earned your respect all the crap and years she's lived in this cold world. Keep up the aweosme poetry writing.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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Deborah,
what a profound poem with excellent descriptive writing, bitter-sweet narrative and very good cadience. Lovley art work you picked. Effective use of alliteration. I especially enjoyed the lines: "I want to ask you to hav epatience with me try to remembrer the times when you were learning how to do things for the first time and I was right beside you holding your hand giving you support and guidence till you couldl stand on your own as I get older and more feeble please be gentle with me I'll make pleanty of mistake and do things slower maybe even be crankier than I was before but I will sitll nedd to be treated with a measure of respect and be told that you love me no matter how oldi I get." Aging sucks. I'm saddened when folks treating older people direcpectful. So what granny is blunt. Or she tells it like it is, she's earned your respect all the crap and years she's lived in this cold world. Keep up the aweosme poetry writing.
Melissa.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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Hi Melissa. Thank you so much for the fantastic detail review of my work. It is greatly appreciated and you already know that I think the world of your opinion. Take care, and thank you again. xoxo Kiwi
Comment from MaryLinda
Such a bitter sweet poem, but one that needs to be said.The words spoken in this poem are so simple, honest and from the heart, that they brought a tear to my eye. You have a great talent for imagery and descriptive prose and along with your wonderful rhythm and meter, make the words of the poem flow so well. MaryLinda
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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Such a bitter sweet poem, but one that needs to be said.The words spoken in this poem are so simple, honest and from the heart, that they brought a tear to my eye. You have a great talent for imagery and descriptive prose and along with your wonderful rhythm and meter, make the words of the poem flow so well. MaryLinda
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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Thank you MaryLinda for this beautiful review. I am so pleased you were able to understand where I was going with this one. xoxo Kiwi
Comment from Judy Swanson
Deborah, I have shivers. I see and hear my Mom in your words here, and I also hear my own self whispering the message to the future.
There are moments when it is difficult to be patient, to listen again, to remember the importance of a smile or a gentle touch. You tell of all of them in this poem, full of emotion. I know, too soon, I will be the one needing a bit more understanding, some forgiveness, some patience from others, a ready ear, a soft touch. Cycles remind me the we get what we give. Let's give!
This is a wonderful poem to share with your mom and your children both. I'm so glad you shared it with me.
Hugs.
Judy
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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Deborah, I have shivers. I see and hear my Mom in your words here, and I also hear my own self whispering the message to the future.
There are moments when it is difficult to be patient, to listen again, to remember the importance of a smile or a gentle touch. You tell of all of them in this poem, full of emotion. I know, too soon, I will be the one needing a bit more understanding, some forgiveness, some patience from others, a ready ear, a soft touch. Cycles remind me the we get what we give. Let's give!
This is a wonderful poem to share with your mom and your children both. I'm so glad you shared it with me.
Hugs.
Judy
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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We are all coming to the time Judy. I hope that we all can handle ourselves with a measure of dignity when we get to this place. Thanks for the heartfelt review of my work. xoxo deborah
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Dignity! Yes. That is so important. Judy
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this poem about being mindful of the people in their older years that need the same love and respect that they had when they were younger.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this poem about being mindful of the people in their older years that need the same love and respect that they had when they were younger.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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I just think we are all going to get old one day. Would like to think we will be treated with dignity and integrity. thank you for the great review. xoxo Kiwi
Comment from Deejharrington
A beautiful and touching poem. Any of us "baby boomers" could have asked all those things. I know its what I fear most, losing my dignity. Asking my family to remember when I was patient with them growing up, is only fair. But few people are as understanding and have little time for the elderly. All one needs to do is visit one of those "homes" and see all the lonely and abandoned souls.
deb
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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A beautiful and touching poem. Any of us "baby boomers" could have asked all those things. I know its what I fear most, losing my dignity. Asking my family to remember when I was patient with them growing up, is only fair. But few people are as understanding and have little time for the elderly. All one needs to do is visit one of those "homes" and see all the lonely and abandoned souls.
deb
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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How wonderfully sweet of you to review my work DJ. Thank you so much. I appreciate your thoughts. xoxo Kiwi
Comment from adewpearl
I like the question that others be patient with an aging person who is now forgetting things - I practice that kind of patience all the time with my oldest sister who is 19 years older than I am and who spent much of our lives being a mother-figure to me
You offer such thoughtful, gentle advice
I do so hope we all remember to treat our elderly with respect, dignity and patience even when they are telling us the same story for the twentieth time in two days :-)
Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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I like the question that others be patient with an aging person who is now forgetting things - I practice that kind of patience all the time with my oldest sister who is 19 years older than I am and who spent much of our lives being a mother-figure to me
You offer such thoughtful, gentle advice
I do so hope we all remember to treat our elderly with respect, dignity and patience even when they are telling us the same story for the twentieth time in two days :-)
Brooke
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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I think that is what people seem to remember about the old ones the most, that they keep repeating stories like a stuck record player...but there must be a reason for it as if that particular place is where they feel the safest and who cares if you have to smile at the same story...bringing joy in whatever format to someone you love is a reward in itself, don't you think. Thank you Brooke for sharing your story with me and for being such a solid wonderful support to my body of work. xoxo Kiwi
Comment from Laurie Clayton
This is a beautifully penned poem almost in the form of a letter from a Mother to her children.
It reads as though it could be from someone who has been diagnosed with Alzhiemers or something similar, and she is getting her thoughts down whilst she still can.
A bitter/sweet poem, full of meaning.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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This is a beautifully penned poem almost in the form of a letter from a Mother to her children.
It reads as though it could be from someone who has been diagnosed with Alzhiemers or something similar, and she is getting her thoughts down whilst she still can.
A bitter/sweet poem, full of meaning.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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I didn't truly know what perspective to write this one from. Was thinking about my own mother who is fully aware and as lively as ever, however she is late 70's now and I can see signs of fear into what becomes of the rest of her life. A vulnerability that I never saw before...she and I have butted heads on way more than one occasion. thanks Laurie for the review, so appreciated my friend. xoxo Kiwi
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My pleasure as always... I always find it interesting when someone reviews a pices coming from a different angle to the one I had in mind...I think it shows the versatility of the work...not a bad thing in my book, Lx
Comment from janbar
What a beautiful poem. Those of us facing the coming of really old age sooner than we hoped can appreciate all the thought that went into this plea for dignity and love when we have become so very vulnerable. Well written and well put. Thank you. janbar
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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What a beautiful poem. Those of us facing the coming of really old age sooner than we hoped can appreciate all the thought that went into this plea for dignity and love when we have become so very vulnerable. Well written and well put. Thank you. janbar
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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Jan, it my experience that every phase of life is necessary to accomplish before we mark the next chapter of our energy's existance. We are like the seasons for real. Beautiful and important to the cycle of life. When we leave this one that holds our current consciousness I believe with all my heart that the door opens into our next one. It doesn't seem to much to ask that when we reach the winter of our life, that we be treated with a measure of chairitable dignity and be remembered for the good things we gave to the people we love. Thank you so much for this kind review. xoxo Kiwi
Comment from EXMAN. nffc
as I used to see
I this necessary?
I'll make plenty of mistakes
plenty of mistakes
Bit of a repetition here.
Excelent concept carried well. A very good poem with just a couple of nits to address. Do that and you're onto a winner.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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as I used to see
I this necessary?
I'll make plenty of mistakes
plenty of mistakes
Bit of a repetition here.
Excelent concept carried well. A very good poem with just a couple of nits to address. Do that and you're onto a winner.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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hey boyo! You always catch me out! lol...changed it up and fixed it up thank God I only needed the hacksaw and not the full on buzz saw for this one. Think you will like the changes though...lol ...I'm enjoying the North Island so much...we are thinking about looking for work up here and relocating...the South Island seems like another planet when you get up here...see you soon. xoxo Kiwi
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Hmm... you must like the rain then. The south island is pretty and a woderful place to visit. But I wouldn't want to live there. Too damn cold. I'll take a look at the changes.
Comment from danpald
This is a poem of power so bright
The tale of all our inevitable plight
Time does come for all to realize
That age is not only filled with the wise
Each one learns with time the truth
We are not the center of the world
All come to be like children again
Lost in the world unable to bend
Many a year I have worked with those older
Many a time I had to clean up after
Yet from the old I find the blessing
That life is filled with tender caring
Not much is needed to show the care
To be pleased for a smile here and there
All the time is given to wonder
Does anyone still remember the splendor
You dear friend have time to ponder
Days are now slower to pass
More time given to the simplest of tasks
Yet youthful in mind you remain
That is why I am glad for the lessons
Given me with loving attention
Dear friend I will remember the care
These days given to a poet not so fair
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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This is a poem of power so bright
The tale of all our inevitable plight
Time does come for all to realize
That age is not only filled with the wise
Each one learns with time the truth
We are not the center of the world
All come to be like children again
Lost in the world unable to bend
Many a year I have worked with those older
Many a time I had to clean up after
Yet from the old I find the blessing
That life is filled with tender caring
Not much is needed to show the care
To be pleased for a smile here and there
All the time is given to wonder
Does anyone still remember the splendor
You dear friend have time to ponder
Days are now slower to pass
More time given to the simplest of tasks
Yet youthful in mind you remain
That is why I am glad for the lessons
Given me with loving attention
Dear friend I will remember the care
These days given to a poet not so fair
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2011
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Thank you Dan so glad you understood what I was saying here. xoxo Kiwi
