O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Always!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
59 total reviews
Comment from Lulu22
Non-stop? Shouldn't this be nonstop? I'm not familiar with this form of poetry
I don't think hyphen should be placed there and takes away from this short poem.You are incorrrect if you are stating non-stop as two words.
I like the message of poem.
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Non-stop? Shouldn't this be nonstop? I'm not familiar with this form of poetry
I don't think hyphen should be placed there and takes away from this short poem.You are incorrrect if you are stating non-stop as two words.
I like the message of poem.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2006
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Interesting. Very different from the haiku I write, but I am published in Japan and not in the United States. You make good use of the textbook 5/7/5 syllabic count, but this is what I would term a "postmodern" haiku because of the use of simile. The satori in the last line is good, but at least I am more used to a nature emphasis in the phrase in the first two lines. There's a good break between the second and third line--so good no punctuation is needed. Haiku are hard to review, for the rules are in flux. Nice alliteration of "l" sounds. I do see in the comments that the reference to "mother" is to "mother nature", but I think that would work better if it was worked into the poem. This is strictly my opinion, but if comments are needed to explain a poem, sometimes it is better to work them into the poem itself.
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Interesting. Very different from the haiku I write, but I am published in Japan and not in the United States. You make good use of the textbook 5/7/5 syllabic count, but this is what I would term a "postmodern" haiku because of the use of simile. The satori in the last line is good, but at least I am more used to a nature emphasis in the phrase in the first two lines. There's a good break between the second and third line--so good no punctuation is needed. Haiku are hard to review, for the rules are in flux. Nice alliteration of "l" sounds. I do see in the comments that the reference to "mother" is to "mother nature", but I think that would work better if it was worked into the poem. This is strictly my opinion, but if comments are needed to explain a poem, sometimes it is better to work them into the poem itself.
Comment Written 22-May-2006
Comment from Pseudoname
A,
Haiku is a form of poetry I cannot claim to fully understand. I do, however, feel that you encapsulated your thoughts in a deliberately tight little package!
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A,
Haiku is a form of poetry I cannot claim to fully understand. I do, however, feel that you encapsulated your thoughts in a deliberately tight little package!
Comment Written 21-May-2006
Comment from trailblazer101
Short and to the point.
Infinitely like mother
We feel, learn or not
Yeah, we have to learn and experience as we trundle on. A littel guidance helps. We don;t ahve to jump off cliffs if someone mentions to us that it could be detrimental to our health...
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Short and to the point.
Infinitely like mother
We feel, learn or not
Yeah, we have to learn and experience as we trundle on. A littel guidance helps. We don;t ahve to jump off cliffs if someone mentions to us that it could be detrimental to our health...
Comment Written 21-May-2006
Comment from mhk
The subtle repetition in the first line caught my attention. The reference to mother brought out nature's finer points; nurturing, life by example. The last, nature's ambivilance. It's here. Take it if you want. It's all I have to offer. I liked that very much.
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The subtle repetition in the first line caught my attention. The reference to mother brought out nature's finer points; nurturing, life by example. The last, nature's ambivilance. It's here. Take it if you want. It's all I have to offer. I liked that very much.
Comment Written 21-May-2006
Comment from NettieC
Hi Alcreator Writer,
What a great haiku! Mother Nature is a mighty and powerful teacher and we would do well to learn the lessons she has to teach. She certainly has a way of making us realise she is in control.
love Nettie
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Hi Alcreator Writer,
What a great haiku! Mother Nature is a mighty and powerful teacher and we would do well to learn the lessons she has to teach. She certainly has a way of making us realise she is in control.
love Nettie
Comment Written 21-May-2006
Comment from Senyai
ALCREATOR WRITER, this is an interesting haiku. I understand what you are saying from your notes, but I have to say I had some trouble on the meaning by way of reading your words in the poem. I guess I am a dull dud tonight.
all the best,
Foxey
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ALCREATOR WRITER, this is an interesting haiku. I understand what you are saying from your notes, but I have to say I had some trouble on the meaning by way of reading your words in the poem. I guess I am a dull dud tonight.
all the best,
Foxey
Comment Written 21-May-2006
Comment from OceanicEyes
Simplistic and thoughtful. Although I am not the biggest fan of the Haiku, I do like the structure. This piece read a little odd for me, as some Haiku's do, especially to the untrained eye and mind (mine, for example). I think it might have been the very first sentance. I didn't really connect with it.
Maybe something like: Teach us mother earth?
anyways it was a good job, but imo a little work and it will be a great hai.
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Simplistic and thoughtful. Although I am not the biggest fan of the Haiku, I do like the structure. This piece read a little odd for me, as some Haiku's do, especially to the untrained eye and mind (mine, for example). I think it might have been the very first sentance. I didn't really connect with it.
Maybe something like: Teach us mother earth?
anyways it was a good job, but imo a little work and it will be a great hai.
Comment Written 21-May-2006
Comment from mamre07
The imagery is excellent in this piece. Your comparison of the characteristics of a nurturing mother to that of Mother Nature is what carries the poem along.
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The imagery is excellent in this piece. Your comparison of the characteristics of a nurturing mother to that of Mother Nature is what carries the poem along.
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from Elizabeth Anne
I always did like haikus. Always short and always give you something to ponder.
This had a nice little message inside.
Good job.
EA
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I always did like haikus. Always short and always give you something to ponder.
This had a nice little message inside.
Good job.
EA
Comment Written 20-May-2006
