I Played My Song
a wrapped refrain173 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
Ah! How cute is that! The way he leans back, like he was about to wail out a good one. LOL!
Having a magical little sprite like this in your life can offer you a lifetime of inspiration. "I played my song, but no one heard until you sang it word for word," Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Ah! How cute is that! The way he leans back, like he was about to wail out a good one. LOL!
Having a magical little sprite like this in your life can offer you a lifetime of inspiration. "I played my song, but no one heard until you sang it word for word," Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Adrienne, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Deniz22
Beautiful. Love Sawyer's concentration. See that he is left-handed? More likely, ambidextrous, being Sawyer. He can be sure that he will always have at least an audience of one. Nice work!
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Beautiful. Love Sawyer's concentration. See that he is left-handed? More likely, ambidextrous, being Sawyer. He can be sure that he will always have at least an audience of one. Nice work!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Dennis, thank you so much for your generous review. He may well turn out to be left handed. Right now he is ambidextrous, but of course, he doesn't write yet, so time will tell :-) Brooke
Comment from jadapenn
Hi, Brooke. I'm taking this one for my own. I'm at a tpoint in life where this poem so resonates with my position. :) I think young Sawyer will have to share with jada. Beautiful! Luv jada
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Hi, Brooke. I'm taking this one for my own. I'm at a tpoint in life where this poem so resonates with my position. :) I think young Sawyer will have to share with jada. Beautiful! Luv jada
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Jada, thank you so much, my generous friend :-) Sawyer is happy to share with you, I'm certain :-) Brooke
Comment from The Death
Hi, Brooke.
Lovely poem, as always! Interesting touch of philosophy and optimistic messages being here. Nice musical theme you have used here.
I like both the refrains which hint at moving having the courage to choose our paths and sing-along while chasing it.
The prompt rules say that you have to use the same four syllables in the end of a verse. You have used 'play' instead of 'played'. They both have one syllable, but the form differs.
I personally like the first verse more. Excellent use of phonetics, as always. Strong, uplifting overtones make this a pleasant read.
The meter is flawless and solid rhyming makes the flow smooth. Very nicely framed!
Surprised to see you participating in a prompt. Good luck in the contest. :)
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Hi, Brooke.
Lovely poem, as always! Interesting touch of philosophy and optimistic messages being here. Nice musical theme you have used here.
I like both the refrains which hint at moving having the courage to choose our paths and sing-along while chasing it.
The prompt rules say that you have to use the same four syllables in the end of a verse. You have used 'play' instead of 'played'. They both have one syllable, but the form differs.
I personally like the first verse more. Excellent use of phonetics, as always. Strong, uplifting overtones make this a pleasant read.
The meter is flawless and solid rhyming makes the flow smooth. Very nicely framed!
Surprised to see you participating in a prompt. Good luck in the contest. :)
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Thank you for your feedback, Anumpam. I believe any form should be flexible enough to allow for play and played to count as the same word. Poetry is art, after all, not paint by numbers. I participate in prompts only if they are not blind. Yelena was thoughtful enough to make her contest non-blind. I just recently won a summer poetry prompt where that sponsor also made his contest non-blind. I would enter more prompts if more sponsors chose this option :-) I appreciate your kind contest wishes :-) Brooke
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I agree with you about flexibility in poetry. There have been many non-blind contest in my absence, I guess. I was busy the past month due to my exams. So, I have missed a lot of action.
You spelled my name incorrectly, again! Heh-heh!
Enjoy the day! :)
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I am so sorry - I have NO idea why my fingers keep putting in that extra M. I swear they act on their own like in one of those horror movies :-)
Comment from visionary1234
Another charming poetic form, this 'wrapped refrain' - I can't resist, Brooke - I'll have to try it! I found the different rhythms in lines 5 and 6 hard to adjust to in this one though, and stumbled a little in the reading ... a personal thing, I'm sure ...
:)S
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Another charming poetic form, this 'wrapped refrain' - I can't resist, Brooke - I'll have to try it! I found the different rhythms in lines 5 and 6 hard to adjust to in this one though, and stumbled a little in the reading ... a personal thing, I'm sure ...
:)S
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Sharyn, thank you for your thoughtful feedback :-) Brooke
Comment from Nosha17
Music and singing can be so inspirational, I cannot live without it. The music in the soul can be contagious. You have made excellent use of rhyming and language to convey your sincere thoughts. Super pic and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Music and singing can be so inspirational, I cannot live without it. The music in the soul can be contagious. You have made excellent use of rhyming and language to convey your sincere thoughts. Super pic and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Faye,thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from emrpoems
As usual you have a simple thought and write about it to the enjoyment of others.
a lovely poem dedicated to Sawyer I am sure. Good wrap around
feature and strong entry for the contest
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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As usual you have a simple thought and write about it to the enjoyment of others.
a lovely poem dedicated to Sawyer I am sure. Good wrap around
feature and strong entry for the contest
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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emrpoems, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from elchupakabra
I like it. It's not my favorite work from you, but it has everything to do with the style of poem and nothing to do with your talent as a writer. I felt like the last two lines of each stanza jut out and interrupt the flow a bit, but again, that's totally based on the style of the poem and not on your meter, which softened the blow in terms of flow. Great work as usual and another great pic of Sawyer :) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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I like it. It's not my favorite work from you, but it has everything to do with the style of poem and nothing to do with your talent as a writer. I felt like the last two lines of each stanza jut out and interrupt the flow a bit, but again, that's totally based on the style of the poem and not on your meter, which softened the blow in terms of flow. Great work as usual and another great pic of Sawyer :) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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elchupakabra, thank you for your thoughtful feedback. Yes, that change in line length is a challenge, to say the least :-) Brooke
Comment from Domino 2
I checked the contest, Brooke, and it refers to syllable count as 'meter'.
Your 8 syllable lines are perfectly metered - of course - but I found the 12 syllable lines rather jumpy. Maybe that's just me, as I've only just got up. :-)
Is the budding rock guitarist left-handed?
Cheers, Ray
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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I checked the contest, Brooke, and it refers to syllable count as 'meter'.
Your 8 syllable lines are perfectly metered - of course - but I found the 12 syllable lines rather jumpy. Maybe that's just me, as I've only just got up. :-)
Is the budding rock guitarist left-handed?
Cheers, Ray
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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When did you change your screen name? LOL Thanks for reviewing, Ray.
COME with ME to the EEden's DEN - that is how Yelena's final line begins in her sample poem - not iambic, so I do not believe I've broken any form rules :-)
He might be left-handed. Right now he's pretty flexible, but since my son is left-handed, I would not be surprised :-) Brooke
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What are you doing up at 04:45am, Brooke? It's 9:45am here, and I just got up.
I didn't mean you'd broken any rules, as your meter is always faultless when intended to be.
I changed my name last night, as I kept getting confused with the 'Ted/Ray' thing - plus it may throw a few fanstory hounds off my scent - at least for a few minutes. :-)
Ray xx
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Sometimes I wake up for no reason in the middle of the night. Rather than toss and turn, I come online for a while and then go back to bed for a few hours :-)
I don't think you're going to fool anyone for more than half a minute LOL
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I understand, as I sometimes do the same.
I guess you're right, as my talent sticks out like a sore thumb. I can just see my haters on here all eagerly PM'ing each other with the latest news about 'that turd' - not that I'm paranoid. :-) xx
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I understand, as I sometimes do the same.
I guess you're right, as my talent sticks out like a sore thumb. I can just see my haters on here all eagerly PM'ing each other with the latest news about 'that turd' - not that I'm paranoid. :-) xx
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Well, if I get any PMs calling you a turd, I will just tell them off. LOL How does one get into one of those circles where people write to each other about other writers? I feel quite left out. ;-)
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LOL, Brooke. I think it's the small haiku click who I upset in the forums, mostly, who don't like me, but I also sense cynicism and curt comments from a few others too. Sob!
I rarely instigate contact as I'm an anti-social hermit, but there are a couple of members who kindly keep in touch, and when they do, I reply.
I prefer the easy 'one-liners' rather than deep conversations, though I do get involved very occasionally - especially when I can bitch about other 'turds'...I mean, members. :-) xx
Comment from Ekim777
I prefer your first verse to the second. It is a happy bonding of imagery, rhythm and song. If imagery is the very body of the poem, the cadence and rhythm beats its life's pulse. The second verse has a story to tell. The final couplet might be a little over loaded. No matter. -Skim
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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I prefer your first verse to the second. It is a happy bonding of imagery, rhythm and song. If imagery is the very body of the poem, the cadence and rhythm beats its life's pulse. The second verse has a story to tell. The final couplet might be a little over loaded. No matter. -Skim
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful feedback, Ekim :-) Brooke
