Reviews from

The Unwilling Heir

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 2"
A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders

17 total reviews 
Comment from bob cullen
Excellent
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I can't stop reading. I am in awe of your writing ability. And I strongly suggest your keep writing. I can't wait to read the next chapter. I truly am hooked.

 Comment Written 31-May-2024


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
    Thank you, Bob. Writing is my healing mechanism and my way of working through life's drama. I mix it all up (well, lately it gets mixed quite well by itself) and see what spills out onto the page. I am thrilled that you are enjoying it.
    Thanks again.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Carol,

Told you I'd be back - just takes me a minute.

Notes:
1.) Don't scare her away unless â?"Well, you know the other alternative."
--> Evil Eddie got you

2.) "But honestly, we were waiting impatiently for you, but the donuts would have been a bonus."
--> 'but' x 2

Thanks - gotta go!


 Comment Written 03-May-2024


reply by the author on 03-May-2024
    i need one of those apps that screams at me when I use repetitive words because my brain certainly doesn't seem to catch them. I shall go immediately and see if I can get it fixed. Thanks for catching another chapter. Hope your day is a good one.
    Smiles, Carol

    Fixed and thank you as always.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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I like this story; you are doing a superb job writing it. I will get caught up tonight and wait for the next addition. You do a marvelous job with the dialogue and building suspense.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
    Thanks so much for continuing to follow. Feel free to let me know if things don't seem quite right.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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I'm having fun with this story. There are a lot of questions to be answered, but I've noticed you have placed many fun clues along the way. Chapters 1 and 2 introduce your characters. I think the Detective, Judge, Benny and Lorrie are ghosts. I'm not yet sure about James, even though he disappeared from the cemetery with the others.

Benny is unemployed. But these are the things said about Benny.
Chapter 1 - "He pointed his finger at the widow and mimicked the sound of a gun, holding up his finger."
Chapter 2 = "I might have put some of these people six feet under."

Ah ha! Benny is, or was a hit man.
BTW, I love Lorrie's name.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
    Hi Lorraine! I thought you might like my Lorrie! I hoped you would. And you are the first person to figure out that Benny was a hitman. Gold star for you! Thanks for reading and enjoying...some have not and a couple have sent me private messages that left me screaming and it wasn't from the ghosts. I've never seen such reaction to the story and the writer. Glas you are enjoying and thanks.

    Smiles,
    Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Sandra has a hard task in front of her, with more enemies than friends. That horrid wife Madeline, well, we all know she was the murderer, she wanted to get her dirty hands on all her late husband's money. But she obviously didn't think he'd left it to anoher member of the family. Great chapter, my friend. I don't have any sixes left, but I promise this deserves one. Well done! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
    Good morning, Sandra...I am in N.C. now with the grandbabies but they are sleeping in so I thought I would try to return some of the reviews. Glad you are enjoying the story...I was scared to death and the PMs I got where wicked. But as long as my favorite writer thinks it's okay, I'm good with it.
    Smiles, hugs and love....Carol
Comment from Esther Brown
Excellent
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I came back to this one and re-read it because you said some people were getting lost. The only thing on here that caused me some confusion was the ear splitting scream that sounded like a hurt animal but turned out to be a dusty scolding plump grandmotherly sort. Maybe that is intended so I really cannot make any suggestions. I picture her as incongruent. Not sure what her place in the story is yet. Esther

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
    Hello, Esther
    Sorry I am behind but I was traveling and finally got settled with my great granddaughters. I appreciate that you have continued to read the story. I made a change on the scream...thank you
    Smiles, Carol
reply by Esther Brown on 29-Mar-2024
    I can't wait to get to know her better. I picture her as a mystic maybe, disguised as a housekeeper?
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent
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This has the ability to be a fine novel.
A lot of information in this chapter about your characters and the plot of the story.
Good dialogue for the most part.
At the end of Chapter One you had the two men sitting on a cement bench- cement is a product that makes a concrete bench.
Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
    Thanks for your thoughts and the review. I appreciate it very much. I did check and according to Lowes the bench can be referred to either way. They are both ingredients to make the bench. Thanks for the suggestions.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by Gunner Lil on 28-Mar-2024
    I can't believe that an MFA is working in the lawn department of Lowe's.
    I was trying to help you to use the proper terminology that any editor would.
    Sorry you didn't like my critique.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
    I am sorry I meant only to tell you why I used the cement bench. Not a problem. Have a great day.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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I learn things from every thing you write, and with this story, I've learned that unemployment can unmask hidden talents. Like maybe robbing a banks or becoming a dope dealer. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    Benny's unemployed, thank heavens! But he's not a robber or a dope dealer....but I'm not telling just yet. LOL Thanks for making me smile as always.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Oh, they were supernatural beings? Judging by the last part? So she is basically on her own, inheriting a mansion from a guy who must have known he was about to be murdered, probably by his mercenary wife? Will these characters reappear at intervals to help her solve the crime? Am I on the right track?
Wendy

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    You are definitely on track...but I am thinking about shelving the story. People are saying it's moving too fast and hard to keep track...people I value very much. I've written 6 chapters but I don't think I can salvage it. Any suggestions?
    Thanks...Carol
reply by Wendy G on 26-Mar-2024
    I took a while to realise they may not have been real and alive, but I just read the next chapter, and I think it clarifies this one quite well. If people read the next they too will "get it". I wouldn't shelve it . Your brain carries more than most of ours, so we migth be a bit slow at the beginning. I'll be happy if you continue!
    Wendy
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    Oh, Wendy...you couldn't have said anything nicer to me at this moment. Thank you so much. I've been up all night trying to decide, and I, too, thought the third chapter might make things clear. That's why I decided to post it.

    Thanks again!
    Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    I'm not so sure about the brain though. LOL
reply by Wendy G on 26-Mar-2024
    LOL. I am convinced you got a double allocation of brain cells.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    I needed that shot in the arm so much! Thank you!
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Love you, but thus far the pace is so fast I can't keep up. Humor? Mystery?
Murder? Ghosts? That's a LOT to pull off and I'm having difficulty engaging with the plot(s)...

I'll hang in here, but I miss your prioritized, focused, writing.

(Also Garth...smile)

Karenina

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    I am waving the white flag... and taking a vacation. Sent you a pm.

    Thanks for the honest review and the nudge to do what needs to be done.

    Love ya, Carol
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    Forgive me for being such an idiot...I appreciate your suggestions and help all the time. My emotions got out of hand because of something else and I haven't slept. One should not use the internet at those times.
    Hugs, Carol
reply by karenina on 26-Mar-2024
    Okaaaaaay. Nothing at all critical meant by it. It's my "expectation" of your previous writing that's thrown me off. Sorry!
reply by karenina on 26-Mar-2024
    Sorry if you're having a bad time. I know what might be the source...and my hand is on your back, as always!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    I know that you will always be there. I just slipped and let things get the best of me.
    Dumb blonde! LOL
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
    My apologies! We are all good! I just need some sleep.
    Love ya, Carol