If I had the Nerve To ...
which I don't18 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
All of your thoughts listed are humorous, but I especially like the first one with the gun thermometer to your forehead. I've thought of saying, "Ouch, you hurt me." Back in the 1950s, when my parents got a telephone, my dad would call people, say he was the electric company, and ask them to go outside to see if the street lights were on. They would actually go out. When they came back to the phone, they found him laughing so hard he could barely stand up. Your thoughts reminded me of those days.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
All of your thoughts listed are humorous, but I especially like the first one with the gun thermometer to your forehead. I've thought of saying, "Ouch, you hurt me." Back in the 1950s, when my parents got a telephone, my dad would call people, say he was the electric company, and ask them to go outside to see if the street lights were on. They would actually go out. When they came back to the phone, they found him laughing so hard he could barely stand up. Your thoughts reminded me of those days.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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good for your dad! and thanks for your comments. glad I provided a little nostalgia :)
Have just gotten my faithful computer back. has been in the shop for a few days. felt like I'd lost my best friend :)
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Pome Lover a good day to you. I hope this finds you well. I could relate to your story, people are already intimidated by me for whatever reason, if I let just half the things I were thinking come out of my mouth, I don't know what would become of me....lol. anyway, nice piece.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
Hello Pome Lover a good day to you. I hope this finds you well. I could relate to your story, people are already intimidated by me for whatever reason, if I let just half the things I were thinking come out of my mouth, I don't know what would become of me....lol. anyway, nice piece.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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thanks, 13th poet. Just got my computer back from the Geek Squad. It was there for a few days. Felt like I'd lost my best friend.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
These were good.
I used to drive my wife mad by taking cold calls from salespeople and keeping them on the line for ages, as if I was going to buy something and then just going 'nah' and hanging up.
"Oh, is this the one that makes you dizzy? Kinda gives you a high? Ha ha ha. - should have closing speech marks here.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
Hi there,
These were good.
I used to drive my wife mad by taking cold calls from salespeople and keeping them on the line for ages, as if I was going to buy something and then just going 'nah' and hanging up.
"Oh, is this the one that makes you dizzy? Kinda gives you a high? Ha ha ha. - should have closing speech marks here.
All the best
G
Comment Written 28-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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thanks. my computer has been in the shop. just got it back.
so you were a trickster. aha.
am probably driving you mad with no capitals, but it's so much easier. thanks for the catch, will go fix.
K
Comment from Nic
This is quite funny, especially the telemarketer passage. I may try that one!
That ending is so relatable, too, especially for a community of writers like this. Nice work!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
This is quite funny, especially the telemarketer passage. I may try that one!
That ending is so relatable, too, especially for a community of writers like this. Nice work!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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thanks, Nic. I appreciate your kind comments.
My computer has been in the shop - just got it back - so couldn't respond until now. anyway ...
Thanks again,
Katharine
Comment from jessizero
Your post/story made me giggle. Those are some great ideas, and I really enjoyed reading them. Thank you for sharing this story here, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
Your post/story made me giggle. Those are some great ideas, and I really enjoyed reading them. Thank you for sharing this story here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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thanks, Miss Jessi!
Just got my computer back from the shop. Now it's Speedy Gonzales!! Soooo, back to my old bent-over bad posture.
Anyway, thank you and I'm glad they made you giggle!
Comment from Shirley McLain
I say stupid things to my daughter all the time, and then threatens me with a nursing home. We then have a good laugh. Sometimes having a warped brain isn't bad at all. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
I say stupid things to my daughter all the time, and then threatens me with a nursing home. We then have a good laugh. Sometimes having a warped brain isn't bad at all. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thanks, Shirley. My computer has been in the shop for a few days. Amazing how lost you feel or rather, I felt, without it.
Good to know my warped brain got a pass :) thanks!
Katharine
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for getting my day started off with a laugh. Believe it or not, your last line on the page was the funniest of all for me. And you though your sense of humor was off. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Pome Lover with the pretty smile!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
Thanks for getting my day started off with a laugh. Believe it or not, your last line on the page was the funniest of all for me. And you though your sense of humor was off. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Pome Lover with the pretty smile!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thank you for all your lovely comments!! You made my day!!
Just got my computer out of the shop, so am back in business.
I will have to check out your writing! :)
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Well, I'm just a silly old boy who writes all kinds of goofy foolishness, but I hope I can entertain or make you smile. :-)
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I'm sure you can, but the one I just read was pretty sadistic - leaving "you" tied up and broke by a real con artist.
Will have to see if you've written a humorous one, or one where you have the upper (untied :) hand.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice writing. Nice imagination.
In the shower - you could use a bar of soap and if you dig really hard you could make marks enough to cipher out a little bit. Maybe shorthand? But then cleaning off the soap later would be enough to make you hang a permanent marker around your neck with a lanyard - for writing on your stomach, or legs, or both if you have really big ideas.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
Nice writing. Nice imagination.
In the shower - you could use a bar of soap and if you dig really hard you could make marks enough to cipher out a little bit. Maybe shorthand? But then cleaning off the soap later would be enough to make you hang a permanent marker around your neck with a lanyard - for writing on your stomach, or legs, or both if you have really big ideas.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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heavens - you really solved the "shower without a pen problem." I wonder if I put my cell phone in a baggie, (in the shower) if I could send a brief idea to my home phone - much better than a marks alot on my bod. :) But thanks for reading and for suggestions.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This is funny. There are times when I wished I had done this. Especially during those telemarketers phone calls. The one where they do not let you get a word in edge wise. I enjoyed reading your post. And I like the picture.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
This is funny. There are times when I wished I had done this. Especially during those telemarketers phone calls. The one where they do not let you get a word in edge wise. I enjoyed reading your post. And I like the picture.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thanks, Carolyn. I love to write 'em, but am too chicken to really say 'em, However I have gotten so tired of the same people calling over and over who won't let me get a word in, that I just hang up. Rude, I know, but I think they are, too.
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Yes. You are welcome.
Comment from Marienkiefer
This is so enjoyable to read. The humour, with a good dose of sarcasm thrown in is off the charts. How wish I had come up with some of those lines when in similar situations.
Sparkling in your writing: Irony, humour, one liners, and self-assessment.
I would not change a thing. But you could add some more...So I could keep reading. A very fun read, loved it, loved it.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
This is so enjoyable to read. The humour, with a good dose of sarcasm thrown in is off the charts. How wish I had come up with some of those lines when in similar situations.
Sparkling in your writing: Irony, humour, one liners, and self-assessment.
I would not change a thing. But you could add some more...So I could keep reading. A very fun read, loved it, loved it.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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thank you, thank you! what a delightful review! Brain ran out of juice or I would've.