Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Thanks for entering, Janet.

I think AABB rhyme is often best for kids, as they come around sooner and are recognised better. My only nit-pick is on that subject, as maybe the lines are a little long, with respect.

Maybe write it all in either past or present tense, as you switch from one to the other from 12th line onwards.

Loads of fun and imagery, plus a theme (both the tree and mother calling) many kids will relate to - three BIG plusses! :-)

Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx




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 Comment Written 29-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016

Thanks Ray for the encouraging review. You're nit-pick was spot on. Not sure how I missed the tense change. Just anxious to get the poem posted, I guess. (how's that for an excuse - kind of like, "The dog ate my homework". haha

I think it's fixed and changed to past tense all through, I hope. I appreciate your input dear friend.

Blessings
Janet xx

Where I spotted an ant, oh my no, there were three.

As the evening had come and the stars were all out
It had been a great day in my tree, ?twas no doubt.
Then I heard my dear mother as she called to me
So I quickly climbed down from my favorite tree.

reply by Domino 2 on 29-Jan-2016

Thanks form your fun and very gracious review, Janet. Great job - all looks fine now. :-) Ray xx