Comment from penmythoughts

Excellent

lulabyes. Please note this word in your poem.Yeah common belief is the mistakes of at hers reach the children but does it restrain them from commuting wrong?God knows.Great formatting , imagery, rhyme scheme and artwork nice to encounter a traditional work after such a long time.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thank you very much for the time you put into your review, and for sharing your thoughts with me about this piece, penmythoughts. I sincerely appreciate the outstanding feed back.

~Dean

reply by penmythoughts on 25-Jan-2015

Anytime, sry bad typos committing, others etc

reply by penmythoughts on 25-Jan-2015

Anytime, sry bad typos committing, others etc

reply by penmythoughts on 25-Jan-2015

Anytime, sry bad typos committing, others etc

reply by penmythoughts on 25-Jan-2015

Anytime, sry bad typos committing, others etc

reply by penmythoughts on 25-Jan-2015

Anytime, sry bad typos committing, others etc

reply by penmythoughts on 25-Jan-2015

Anytime, sry bad typos committing, others etc

reply by penmythoughts on 25-Jan-2015

Anytime, sry bad typos committing, others etc

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

No problem. I understood you perfectly. :)

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

A Horror Sonnet Contest Entry "Sins of the Father" This is another superb entry into the annals of poetry, Dean. You do create some real masterpieces. It is true about the sins of the fathers into the third and fourth generations. Well done.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks, Chase. I hope I've gotten the iambic pentameter correct, I do struggle with poems which require a specific meter sometimes.

Thanks very much for your review.

reply by chasennov on 25-Jan-2015

You are most welcome, Dean. I didn't see any problems.

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

Now, this is a true horror story: the weaknesses and sins of the father passed along from generation to generation. It happens in fact too often. I'm not sure if the meter is exactly right (iambic pentameter), but the poem is excellent nonetheless. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thank you, Jeanie, very much. I struggle mightily with specific meter, I know I do. I read, study and try and apply what I teach myself, as best I know how, then hope someone with a bit more knowledge and expertise can assist me in getting it right, LOL.

Thanks again for your review and feedback. It is greatly appreciated.

~Dean

reply by Jeanie Mercer on 25-Jan-2015

You've probably tried singing it to yourself - DaDUM DaDUM DaDUM DaDUM DaDum - until the DUMS falls on the right syl-LA-bles. You may need to relax more with it. I use my ten fingers as the DaDUMS, thus getting the count right automatically.

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

Thank you Dean for tempering the horror theme with Bible verses in your author's notes. I like this better, although all your creations are masterpieces of course. You are still the King of the horror genre and nobody can beat you in that category. Tempering it with Bible verses does not make you less better, for in the end, it is the LORD that we have to please and not our readers. God bless my friend.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

I wrote it for the Horror Sonnet contest, nassus, so it had to be a horror themed piece. However, I think we can still get a pertinent message out, honor the Lord, and perhaps tempt people to read a Bible verse or two who wouldn't give a second glance at a spiritual piece of poetry. That's my thinking on the matter.

Thanks so much again.

~Dean

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hey, finally, it behaved. This was work to get this posted.

Very well penned. It's true what you say your notes about the sins of the father being visited on the son, and so on as the cycle repeats. After a while, I suppose it becomes a way of life---the only one they are accustomed to, so wrong becomes right.

Vicious cycle. Great job with this one.

Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks for hanging in there and being patient with this misbehaving post, Jax. It makes me wonder just what was going on, was it not meant to be posted? Thoughts to ponder...

~Dean

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 25-Jan-2015

No problem. I just had a chapter the other day that went out but nothing happened when people clicked the link. They had to go to my portfolio.............Gremlins!! (*>*)

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Gremlins! Hahahahahaha...:D

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Hi Dean,

It appears you have removed the image and the poem/story,

Sorry this person moved or deleted this image.

All I can read is the author's notes.

Mary

Let me know if you put it on and I will change my ratings

Mary

Second viewing

Hi Dean it is showing OK now.

Your expertise of horror is ongoing, I think you know It is not my favorite genre, but this poem sins of the Father Make sense to me. It is very well written. I hope you do well in the contest. Mary

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

I am seeing it just fine on my end, Mary. I just don't understand. Please if you would, try it once more and let me know if it is viewable.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Sorry, Dean, but there's nothing there except a notice you moved or deleted this image.

I shall read it afterwards as an addendum to this statement.

*********************************************************

Nope, the same.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Try it now, Jay. I have have been in the middle of editing my notes

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Sadly I am unable to review this work since the 'image' has been removed and with it the sonnet itself. I'm not sure what went wrong here, Dean, but have the stars anyway.

Patrick

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Sorry about that, Patrick. I may have been in the middle of a quick edit while adding my notes. If you'd like to revisit this, it should be fully viewable now.

Thank you! ~Dean

reply by Patrick G Cox on 25-Jan-2015

Hi Dean, gave you a five for it anyway - 'on account' if you like. I'll hunt it up now.

Patrick

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thank you, I appreciate that. Please let me know if you experience further problems in viewing it.

~Dean

reply by Patrick G Cox on 25-Jan-2015

Hi Dean, it isn't showing up at all - not even in your portfolio.

Patrick