The Old Violin
Anapestic Tetrameter contest entry82 total reviews
Comment from royowen
A beautifully crafted and skilfully penned piece of poetic art that speaks of a highly skilled and gifted writer, you have a fine work denoting the fiddle played with mastery of the provocateur, enticing instinctive temptation, in abab rhyming, even meter, well done, with this piece, Tony, it should do well in the contest, good luck, blessing Roy.
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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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A beautifully crafted and skilfully penned piece of poetic art that speaks of a highly skilled and gifted writer, you have a fine work denoting the fiddle played with mastery of the provocateur, enticing instinctive temptation, in abab rhyming, even meter, well done, with this piece, Tony, it should do well in the contest, good luck, blessing Roy.
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Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Roy, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift comments. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Domino 2
With respect, maybe: 'of ancients who sinned' (IMO, near rhymes are at least as good as perfect rhymes in some instances) - as they are past tense.
Excellent enjambment that may be improved by de-capitalising the first words of lines that continue a sentence.
Excellent meter.
Although you repeat 'sin/violin' rhymes, they work due to the readjustment of the lines.
Top read.
Best wishes, Ray.
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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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With respect, maybe: 'of ancients who sinned' (IMO, near rhymes are at least as good as perfect rhymes in some instances) - as they are past tense.
Excellent enjambment that may be improved by de-capitalising the first words of lines that continue a sentence.
Excellent meter.
Although you repeat 'sin/violin' rhymes, they work due to the readjustment of the lines.
Top read.
Best wishes, Ray.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Ray, for reviewing my poem in depth. Glad you enjoyed it! I appreciate your comments about the tenses. However, I had intended that the old men still sin to this day - but now only in their minds.
