Reviews from

I Played My Song

a wrapped refrain

173 total reviews 
Comment from angelface2
Excellent
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I love it. The picture is so cute and matches the poem quite well. I don't know what a wrapped refrain is, as I didn't look up the prompt, but the poem is well written and the rhythm is good. I enjoyed reading it. Miss Sally

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    Miss Sally, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from ravenblack
Excellent
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Okay. I read the rules and now my head hurts. Suffice to say that this is both a spiritual poem of finding and following your/the voice and Sawyer prepping himself to be the new prime guitar shredder for Metallica.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    ravenblack, thank you :-) Yes, those rules can have that effect! LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from Cloe Z
Excellent
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I haven't been on Fanstory for a while, and I'd forgotten how much I enjoy reading your work. Very nice poem! I love how you compare life to a song; that is one of my favorite images of life. Good work!

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    Cloe Z, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from billscott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Such a cute little rockn roll guy.

Did he sing this out after you wrote it?

I can envision that all the same ;)

Loved this!

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    Thanks so much, bill - he is only two years and one month old, so even though he is very advanced, he's not quite up to singing these verses yet. LOL He does love to sing along to Tom Petty's Free Fallin, but mainly just the free fallin line. LOL I appreciate your generous sixth star. :-) Brooke
Comment from marijmd
Excellent
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Ah its like a poem celebrating soul mates meeting for the first time. Everything fits perfectly and all is right. The ultimate romance story.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    thank you so much, marijmd :-) Brooke
Comment from costellsgirl33
Excellent
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This is a very sweet and touching poem!
"I played my song, but no one heard
until you sang it word for word,
as if the very breath you drew
was drawn to sing what I hold true."

That is so beautiful!

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    costellsgirl, thank you so much :-) Brooke
reply by costellsgirl33 on 05-Jun-2014
    You're welcome Brooke :)

    Arnetta
Comment from McMurry903
Excellent
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This is a beautiful poem, Brooke! I love the picture of Sawyer and how you use his delightful photos for inspiration. I really enjoyed the touching message and great rhymes throughout. Very well done, I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Brian

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    Brian, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from humpwhistle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sorry, I've been away, Brooke. Just under the weather.

I don't believe I've seen a wrap refrain before.
I assume it sort of wraps around that middle line?
I like the way you carry the song metaphor through the first verse, and the path through the second. The wrap?
Forgive me, I'm still not all here.

If he continues to play in his underpants, Sawyer's going to make it big.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    Lee, thank you so much, my friend :-) I appreciate your generous sixth star. I think at some point Sawyer is going to have to stop prancing around in his diapers. LOL Brooke
Comment from Rainbowsofhappiness
Excellent
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I always adore your photo selections that accompany your poems and this one is no exception. The interesting thing about this poem is it has a deeper message embedded within its lines. It talks about how one gets lost in life and waits for the right person to come along and pull them out of their fog into the light where everything makes sense again. It mentions how each individual is continually searching for the path that will lead them out of darkness into light for the rest of their lives. All humans desire to be excepted in life by others and when they feel alone they doubt themselves and their motives. This poem shows that there is always a hand stretched out for ours to help guide us in our life's journey. I love the rhythmic pattern established in the meter to allow this piece to flow smoothly. The end rhymes allow the couplets within the stanzas to become cohesive. The message behind this poem is one that will resonate strongly with the reader long after the poem is read. The final line of this piece allows the poem to have a strong emotional impact due to the precisely chosen word choices used by the writer. This poem is more though-provoking and serious than filled with imagery but that's fine because it encourages the reader to consider if they are following the correct path in life and if not where are they headed on their current path? The repetition of the word path in the final stanza alerts the reader to the importance of this word and its symbolic meaning in the poem. Well constructed and designed to leave the reader questioning their life choices.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014
    Thank you so much, Rainbows :-) I truly do appreciate readers who don't just skim over the words but linger on them and think about their meaning :-)
reply by Rainbowsofhappiness on 06-Jun-2014
    You're welcome for the review and I feel if a writer is going to take the time to craft a piece of literature the least I can do is offer a comprehensive review in return! :-) Have a lovely day!
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
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Hi Brooke,

Your poem is wonderful like everything you write. This is a new style of poetry that I've never heard of before. You did a good job in writing it. Best wishes for the contest. Sawyer looks very interested in his toy.

Kat

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
    Kat, thank you so much :-) Brooke