A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Horrified"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
86 total reviews
Comment from DFaye
This really struck a chord with me. I'm currently writing a novel about a 16 year old boy who gets beaten and raped by his mother's new husband...so I have to write from the point of view of the victim and I think you do that here amazingly. It's a very dark place to go to and some people wonder why we even go there. Well it's because it happens. Children are being beaten and abused in ways no one should ever be hurt and people need to be aware of it because that's the first step to making it stop. I think you are very brave to write something like this. Not only did I connect to it because of my novel but because I too am a statistic. It's crazy how often child abuse happens.
Your piece was very well written. I found that it had the rhythm of a song almost. Sometimes when people try to write poems that rhyme it ends up sounding forced or really lame and predictable but yours was pretty perfect. Your rhymed words fit together like puzzle pieces and kept the motion of the poem progressing until the big finish where the abused finally gets revenge.
Some would be offended by the harsh language you used...I wasn't. You portrayed rape and abuse just the way it is. It's not cleaned up and edited it's aggressive and very ugly. Not to say your piece was bad in any way lol. Very good job, thank you for speaking out for the abused.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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This really struck a chord with me. I'm currently writing a novel about a 16 year old boy who gets beaten and raped by his mother's new husband...so I have to write from the point of view of the victim and I think you do that here amazingly. It's a very dark place to go to and some people wonder why we even go there. Well it's because it happens. Children are being beaten and abused in ways no one should ever be hurt and people need to be aware of it because that's the first step to making it stop. I think you are very brave to write something like this. Not only did I connect to it because of my novel but because I too am a statistic. It's crazy how often child abuse happens.
Your piece was very well written. I found that it had the rhythm of a song almost. Sometimes when people try to write poems that rhyme it ends up sounding forced or really lame and predictable but yours was pretty perfect. Your rhymed words fit together like puzzle pieces and kept the motion of the poem progressing until the big finish where the abused finally gets revenge.
Some would be offended by the harsh language you used...I wasn't. You portrayed rape and abuse just the way it is. It's not cleaned up and edited it's aggressive and very ugly. Not to say your piece was bad in any way lol. Very good job, thank you for speaking out for the abused.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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Thanks very much, DFaye, and I am relieved to know that you perceived it to be just as I had written it. I felt it would be a grave disservice to everyone who has ever suffered abuse at the hands of someone who supposedly loved them, to "sugar-coat" this in any way. I may take some heat for it, but I believe an ugly, horrible topic deserves to be portrayed just as it is.
Thanks you so much for the wonderful review, and for the personal insights into this. I will be looking for that novel...
Comment from MelReyn
My heart is broken. Pieces of it are all around me, just laying there. Broken. My knee jerk response is to say 'I can't imagine.' But yet, that's not right. You've made this come alive, so now I can.
You are bringing awareness to this. Silence is what is almost as damning. The mom that ignores the signs. The sister that says nothing. So many people, so much silence.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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My heart is broken. Pieces of it are all around me, just laying there. Broken. My knee jerk response is to say 'I can't imagine.' But yet, that's not right. You've made this come alive, so now I can.
You are bringing awareness to this. Silence is what is almost as damning. The mom that ignores the signs. The sister that says nothing. So many people, so much silence.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I'd be inclined to agree with you 100%, Mel. Thank you so much for the excellent review and personal insights. Much obliged!
Comment from Glasstruth
I read this two ways. One was straight across, and the other with the left side first then the right. It is a horrifying subject presented with emotional depth. Your author notes were just as interesting and very educational. Awesome. Thanks for sharing. Les
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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I read this two ways. One was straight across, and the other with the left side first then the right. It is a horrifying subject presented with emotional depth. Your author notes were just as interesting and very educational. Awesome. Thanks for sharing. Les
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Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thanks for reading and reviewing it for me, Les. I really appreciate that!
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I was sexually abused and no matter the kind of abuse it's not okay. I did a lot things because of it, people reacted...well lets just say there's no book on what to do when your kid or a kid in general gets abused. How do you react when you find something like that out? I don't know. It's a horrible, horrible thing. Great job writing on such a hard and sad subject
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I was sexually abused and no matter the kind of abuse it's not okay. I did a lot things because of it, people reacted...well lets just say there's no book on what to do when your kid or a kid in general gets abused. How do you react when you find something like that out? I don't know. It's a horrible, horrible thing. Great job writing on such a hard and sad subject
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much, ExperiencingLiphe. I really appreciate that.
I wrote this in response to a rather disturbing story I'd seen recently on the news. A mother and her convict boyfriend, newly released from prison, drowned the woman's sixteen-month-old daughter in a bathtub. She simply stood back and allowed this fiend to do it, after he'd convinced her that they would both be better off without the child "dragging them down", as he'd so eloquently put it.
I thought to myself, what have we become, we human beings. I mean, even most animals in the animal kingdom will give their lives to protect their young. Are we now lower on the compassion scale than, say, tigers, lions and bears?
Thanks for the fantastic review and personal insights into this. I truly appreciate it.
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It just makes me sick
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I agree.
Comment from country ranch writer
IT IS SO SAD IT STILL GOES ON IN TODAYS SOCIETY. THEY THREATEN THE YOU TO STAY QIET OR BE DELIVERED MORE BODILY HARM WORSE THAY CAN EVERY IMAGINE. HOW CAN WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?
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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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IT IS SO SAD IT STILL GOES ON IN TODAYS SOCIETY. THEY THREATEN THE YOU TO STAY QIET OR BE DELIVERED MORE BODILY HARM WORSE THAY CAN EVERY IMAGINE. HOW CAN WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?
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Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I don't know, country ranch writer, I truly wish I had the answers.
Thank you again for a wonderful review!
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welcome, and maybe one day there will be protection for all of Gods children
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Let's pray that is so.
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Amen
Comment from Author Unknown
This has much meaning and tho hard to read, due to content...I see a baby hurt or killed at least once a week on the boob tube, and I'm sure they are but a few of the abused and murdered little ones. Abuse comes in so many forms and this almost made me bawl. Because it's too real. It will never end Dean. Not in our lifetimes. Sadly....
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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This has much meaning and tho hard to read, due to content...I see a baby hurt or killed at least once a week on the boob tube, and I'm sure they are but a few of the abused and murdered little ones. Abuse comes in so many forms and this almost made me bawl. Because it's too real. It will never end Dean. Not in our lifetimes. Sadly....
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Unfortunately, you are probably right, Author Unknown, and it breaks my heart as well.
I wrote this after hearing a particularly disturbing story on the news, about a mother standing by and watching while her convict boyfriend, newly released from prison, drowned her sixteen-month-old daughter. They both felt their lives would be better off without her. How sad I thought that was, it was incomprehensible to me, even as twisted as I am.
They both got life in prison today I heard, but both are eligible for parole in twenty-five years. Sadly for that baby girl, no parole will be forthcoming from her watery prison.
Thank you for the excellent review, my friend.
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You're welcome Dean, and the list of tragedy's goes on and on. I get so down watching the news. :/ Funny, how I love scary stories, movies...yet. Real life is so sad? What's wrong with us Dean?????
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Ah, we're okay. The brightest of stars shine in a total absence of light, LOL...