Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "The Friend"A book of Poetry & Writing
97 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
Weather ....whether
It meaning...its meaning......
When sleep at night ....when asleep,at night
Sorry had to point these out ....there is nothing like a loyal dog as your friend ...great photo
Well done
God bless
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Weather ....whether
It meaning...its meaning......
When sleep at night ....when asleep,at night
Sorry had to point these out ....there is nothing like a loyal dog as your friend ...great photo
Well done
God bless
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from visionary1234
hey, deepwater, a thoughtful piece - but difficult to read in its present form as it's much in need of editing.
A phrase that stands for much.
Have pride In(in) what you do,
It(Its??) meaning, that what you (have you've)(makes no sense as written - do you mean, you have, you've earned and that you've tried?) earned
and that you've tried your best,
And when you sleep matters not weather(whether) your(you're) free Or(or) what your task may be,
One duty there remains for him: One duty stands for me.
Be you a soldier skilled and wise,
A laborer upon the street,
An artist on the stage,
A Sailor(sailr) on the sea,
All glory still awaits for you, (LOVE THOSE LAST FOUR LINES!)
One honor that is fair,
Here's a phrase that stands for much;
A friend who stands for you there,
It means that men have confidence, when sleep(? WHO are you referring to? if "men" then 'sleeps' would be the verb choice ... a little unclear here though?) at night
untroubled he may rest.
As your friend stands next to you and shelters his one friend the one that he knows best.
Hope that helps!
:)Sharyn
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hey, deepwater, a thoughtful piece - but difficult to read in its present form as it's much in need of editing.
A phrase that stands for much.
Have pride In(in) what you do,
It(Its??) meaning, that what you (have you've)(makes no sense as written - do you mean, you have, you've earned and that you've tried?) earned
and that you've tried your best,
And when you sleep matters not weather(whether) your(you're) free Or(or) what your task may be,
One duty there remains for him: One duty stands for me.
Be you a soldier skilled and wise,
A laborer upon the street,
An artist on the stage,
A Sailor(sailr) on the sea,
All glory still awaits for you, (LOVE THOSE LAST FOUR LINES!)
One honor that is fair,
Here's a phrase that stands for much;
A friend who stands for you there,
It means that men have confidence, when sleep(? WHO are you referring to? if "men" then 'sleeps' would be the verb choice ... a little unclear here though?) at night
untroubled he may rest.
As your friend stands next to you and shelters his one friend the one that he knows best.
Hope that helps!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I loved your illustration, it reminds me of my Shadow; I had two malemute/husky dogs until they passed away last year. I agree, a friend in need is a friend indeed and there is nothing to beat a friendship of a human being or a pet. You made good use of language and imagery in your poem and it was a smooth flow. I found some errors-hope you don't mind-Line 5, whether you're and Line 12, it is either 'awaits you' or waits for you. Enjoyable read. Faye
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I loved your illustration, it reminds me of my Shadow; I had two malemute/husky dogs until they passed away last year. I agree, a friend in need is a friend indeed and there is nothing to beat a friendship of a human being or a pet. You made good use of language and imagery in your poem and it was a smooth flow. I found some errors-hope you don't mind-Line 5, whether you're and Line 12, it is either 'awaits you' or waits for you. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from sibhus
Great poem, you have really captured all the aspects of friendship, and I'm assuming,by the picture, the unconditional friendship of a dog. Dogs are truly our best fiends. Great picture and a wonderful poem.
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Great poem, you have really captured all the aspects of friendship, and I'm assuming,by the picture, the unconditional friendship of a dog. Dogs are truly our best fiends. Great picture and a wonderful poem.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from elchupakabra
This piece needs serious work. Basic spelling and grammars mistakes were abundant in this piece.
Have pride In what you do - eliminate capital on in
It meaning - It's meaning
And when you sleep matters not weather your free Or what - when you sleep matters not whether you're free
The ending trails off and doesn't really make sense. There was no proper flow or cadence to the work either. There are random capitals throughout the piece and the presentation of the theme felt redundant. I would consider a re-write while maintaining the general theme and key lines. Good work and thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This piece needs serious work. Basic spelling and grammars mistakes were abundant in this piece.
Have pride In what you do - eliminate capital on in
It meaning - It's meaning
And when you sleep matters not weather your free Or what - when you sleep matters not whether you're free
The ending trails off and doesn't really make sense. There was no proper flow or cadence to the work either. There are random capitals throughout the piece and the presentation of the theme felt redundant. I would consider a re-write while maintaining the general theme and key lines. Good work and thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from mermaids
I like the free verse form here and the lines that include the occupations of soldier,artist or laborer,showing that all need friends. The pic of the husky is perfect,dogs are the ultimate friends,loyal and trustworthy. Your lines flow smoothly and bring up emotions.
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I like the free verse form here and the lines that include the occupations of soldier,artist or laborer,showing that all need friends. The pic of the husky is perfect,dogs are the ultimate friends,loyal and trustworthy. Your lines flow smoothly and bring up emotions.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from livelylinda
deepwater: continued words of meaning and wisdom from this author. And, for me, continued words that I am delighting in reading today. livelylinda
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deepwater: continued words of meaning and wisdom from this author. And, for me, continued words that I am delighting in reading today. livelylinda
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from A Matter Of Words
There is something about 'a friend' that stands never more true than a man and his dog. I enjoyed this creative poem, which spoke of trust and love. Nicely written.
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There is something about 'a friend' that stands never more true than a man and his dog. I enjoyed this creative poem, which spoke of trust and love. Nicely written.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from LIJ Red
A very good poem, but.
I read it without the "whate'er your free" and it makes more sense and the rhythm seems better to me. Possible word processor stumble, there? Just wondered...
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A very good poem, but.
I read it without the "whate'er your free" and it makes more sense and the rhythm seems better to me. Possible word processor stumble, there? Just wondered...
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from Kingsland
I believe you are referring to man's best friend here, a dog. This was a well written piece of poetic art. I liked the positive tone in which your thoughts were presented. This was a very enjoyable poem to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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I believe you are referring to man's best friend here, a dog. This was a well written piece of poetic art. I liked the positive tone in which your thoughts were presented. This was a very enjoyable poem to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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thanks John
