Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "storm warning"A book of Poetry & Writing
178 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi GW,
On the whole I really like this. However, for me, it read more like a run-on letter. I just could't find a rhythm, and where it should have paused it didn't.
It could just be me. Like it a lot - just a bit disjointed - for me. Otherwise, well done!
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
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Hi GW,
On the whole I really like this. However, for me, it read more like a run-on letter. I just could't find a rhythm, and where it should have paused it didn't.
It could just be me. Like it a lot - just a bit disjointed - for me. Otherwise, well done!
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from acerisestory
This is a very engrossing, well-told story of the perils of sailing. It's very exciting, and I like the positive ending. Your use of alliteration certainly makes the poem glide along nicely: slowly/slips; time/ticking; fight/flashes; Sea, and its Sailors. Well done. Thank you for sharing. Alana
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This is a very engrossing, well-told story of the perils of sailing. It's very exciting, and I like the positive ending. Your use of alliteration certainly makes the poem glide along nicely: slowly/slips; time/ticking; fight/flashes; Sea, and its Sailors. Well done. Thank you for sharing. Alana
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from Leineco
Compelling write! Nicely done :-)
A teeth clenching, white knuckle tale of demise
as the storm blows in and the waters rise
the sea has her ways of swallowing men
and a seaman knows when it's time for Amen
fight though he may, even cling to the mast
once the tides have turned and the die has been cast
a sailor alone on the raging seas
can only rely on God's gentle mercies.
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Compelling write! Nicely done :-)
A teeth clenching, white knuckle tale of demise
as the storm blows in and the waters rise
the sea has her ways of swallowing men
and a seaman knows when it's time for Amen
fight though he may, even cling to the mast
once the tides have turned and the die has been cast
a sailor alone on the raging seas
can only rely on God's gentle mercies.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from risktaker
A captivating story of an ocean experience. the photo is outstanding and relevant. I like the flow, structure, imagery, and choice of words. Message well-expressed. I relate to "I have come home now, at rest in this place; the Sea, and its Sailors, we sail in God's grace."
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A captivating story of an ocean experience. the photo is outstanding and relevant. I like the flow, structure, imagery, and choice of words. Message well-expressed. I relate to "I have come home now, at rest in this place; the Sea, and its Sailors, we sail in God's grace."
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from visionary1234
Well I come from a family of sailors too and this is a familiar scenario in all the tales that filled my father's book-case deepwater (well named!) I like your epic poetic style here!
:)Sharyn
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Well I come from a family of sailors too and this is a familiar scenario in all the tales that filled my father's book-case deepwater (well named!) I like your epic poetic style here!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I grew up beside the Pacific ocean. So, this poem takes me back to those gales, wondering who will come back to berth and who will drop below the waves. This poem speaks to me.
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Hi. I grew up beside the Pacific ocean. So, this poem takes me back to those gales, wondering who will come back to berth and who will drop below the waves. This poem speaks to me.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good internal rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with hide/side. Good description and alliteration. Good rhythm and flow. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
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Good internal rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with hide/side. Good description and alliteration. Good rhythm and flow. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from GWinterwin
Good poem with a great picture to male it come alive. Good word flow and rhyming make it clear and easy to understand. Good story about the raging sea.
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Good poem with a great picture to male it come alive. Good word flow and rhyming make it clear and easy to understand. Good story about the raging sea.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from Ben Colder
Interesting piece about sailing during white capping. No doubt bound for trouble. You held my attention until I drown. Well done poet.
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Interesting piece about sailing during white capping. No doubt bound for trouble. You held my attention until I drown. Well done poet.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
My dad and granddad were sailors....and we would sail on the weekends on dad's yacht...he built it in the back yard...I love the imagery of the mountain wave....and the crack from the mainsails,,,,yikes
Well done
God bless
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My dad and granddad were sailors....and we would sail on the weekends on dad's yacht...he built it in the back yard...I love the imagery of the mountain wave....and the crack from the mainsails,,,,yikes
Well done
God bless
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
