Woodland Secrets Part Two
fantasy ottava rima - see author's notes90 total reviews
Comment from Amfunny
Oh, what a delightful wedding! I guess part 3 will be the babies...lol. I love your detailed description of the bride and groom. This is very cute.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Oh, what a delightful wedding! I guess part 3 will be the babies...lol. I love your detailed description of the bride and groom. This is very cute.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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No babies - we're not moving forward in time - you want babies, you write part four! LOL Thanks, Norma Jean. Brooke :-)
Comment from Dave M
Brooke,
This is an excellent continuation of your poem, wedding day in fairyland. I enjoyed this read and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Brooke,
This is an excellent continuation of your poem, wedding day in fairyland. I enjoyed this read and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Dave - you are most supportive and encouraging. Brooke :-)
Comment from Aussie
Most enjoyable I loved the first part and this part is so well written. This subject of writing takes us away from the mundane and dark world of meaningless noise and plastic toys. I look forward to more of your beautiful words. Blessings
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Most enjoyable I loved the first part and this part is so well written. This subject of writing takes us away from the mundane and dark world of meaningless noise and plastic toys. I look forward to more of your beautiful words. Blessings
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Kay - I'm so encouraged when you make such lovely comments :-) Brooke
Comment from Telperion
Lovely poem, I look forward to read it all.
And a a word of criticism: Maybe the creature crawling and predators will make more sense. The imagery is so peaceful, that such words somehow spoil it. Maybe some more words like "grief", "hate" etc. should be used to be negated by the fortunate event in the end.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Lovely poem, I look forward to read it all.
And a a word of criticism: Maybe the creature crawling and predators will make more sense. The imagery is so peaceful, that such words somehow spoil it. Maybe some more words like "grief", "hate" etc. should be used to be negated by the fortunate event in the end.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Telperion, thank you for your review and feedback. I had in mind paintings like the Peaceable Kingdom when talking about the predators and their prey being in peace on this day. Brooke
Comment from fictionwriter
AAAWWW! Such a sweet little poem. I can just picture the little fairies so cute and beautiful all at the same time. A wonderful little poem. Did I say how much I loved it? Great, great work.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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AAAWWW! Such a sweet little poem. I can just picture the little fairies so cute and beautiful all at the same time. A wonderful little poem. Did I say how much I loved it? Great, great work.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Joy - your enthusiasm is encouraging :-) Brooke
Comment from Ms. Gray
I could see the scene you painted with words in your poem. It is beautiful the way you describe the bride and her groom. I like the line about no predators nor prey on this day of peace. Lovely and very romantic. I look forward to reading more tomorrow. Good night.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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I could see the scene you painted with words in your poem. It is beautiful the way you describe the bride and her groom. I like the line about no predators nor prey on this day of peace. Lovely and very romantic. I look forward to reading more tomorrow. Good night.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Patti :-) Tomorrow I'm determined to finish it and earlier than I managed today!! LOL Brooke
Comment from Jazh
What a beautiful faery picture you paint! I love "spider's silk" and "saffron gilt" - wonderful images. I haven't really enjoyed fairy tales since I was little - this is great. :)
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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What a beautiful faery picture you paint! I love "spider's silk" and "saffron gilt" - wonderful images. I haven't really enjoyed fairy tales since I was little - this is great. :)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Adele, thank you - you're never too old to love fairies!!! I'm living testimony of that! LOL You're most kind. Tomorrow I'm ending it, though, before it starts to drag :-) Brooke
Comment from AnnaLinda
adewpearl,
I enjoyed reading this part II to "Woodland Secrets"
As you know, I don't know a lot about all of the poetic forms, so I will say that this read very smoothly. It had nice rhyme and it is very impressive that you could do all that within the form you mentioned in your notes.
I liked this line: "The vows exchanged, so simple and sincere --abiding love was pledged between the pair,"
I am looking forward to part 3.
SweetLinda
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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adewpearl,
I enjoyed reading this part II to "Woodland Secrets"
As you know, I don't know a lot about all of the poetic forms, so I will say that this read very smoothly. It had nice rhyme and it is very impressive that you could do all that within the form you mentioned in your notes.
I liked this line: "The vows exchanged, so simple and sincere --abiding love was pledged between the pair,"
I am looking forward to part 3.
SweetLinda
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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SweetLinda, If it reads smoothly, that is all I need to know! No matter what the meter of a poem, the goal is to make it read smoothly :-) I thank you for your thoughtful review!! Brooke
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It is my pleasure Brooke!
Comment from Mitzi
It gets better and better. This would make a beautiful children's picture book with lovely pastel watercolors and a lovely leather cover. A real classic. Jeanne
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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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It gets better and better. This would make a beautiful children's picture book with lovely pastel watercolors and a lovely leather cover. A real classic. Jeanne
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Jeanne, thank you. Pastel watercolors and leather - sounds lovely to me!!! :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
Bravo. This poem is getting better and better. You have done a terrific job with it. Very well written with good imagery and desciptive scheme.
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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Bravo. This poem is getting better and better. You have done a terrific job with it. Very well written with good imagery and desciptive scheme.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Charlie - I'm so glad you're enjoying - I am pledged to end it tomorrow! Brooke :-)
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
