Freedom's like...
Just another word.96 total reviews
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an excellent poem with great flow and rhyming also thrown in. Roy well done indeed my friend. I enjoyed this and the end of the poem makes this a rather excellent poem
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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This is an excellent poem with great flow and rhyming also thrown in. Roy well done indeed my friend. I enjoyed this and the end of the poem makes this a rather excellent poem
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks Chris, , for the wonderful review, comments and excellent rating, blessings, Roy.
Comment from gamay
Hi Roy, This is very wonderful and nice poem. I really enjoyed this very much. I like this part
"Now freedom's just another word,
unless it's bought not won.
One must surrender life for death,
as Jesus Christ has done.
Thanks for sharing, gamay
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Hi Roy, This is very wonderful and nice poem. I really enjoyed this very much. I like this part
"Now freedom's just another word,
unless it's bought not won.
One must surrender life for death,
as Jesus Christ has done.
Thanks for sharing, gamay
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks for the wonderful review, comments and excellent rating, blessings, Roy.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I remember loving that song way back then, but agree there is always loss associated with the freedom gained. I do still like the song. Have a blessed day, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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I remember loving that song way back then, but agree there is always loss associated with the freedom gained. I do still like the song. Have a blessed day, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks Debbie, and remains a great song, and thanks also for the wonderful review, comments and excellent rating, blessings, Roy.
Comment from GE Parson
Bro. Roy,
I had to read slowly, deciphering each word
to understand what you had wit ten. I understood
it was about the cost of freedom, but I had
a little trouble understanding the relationship
of a sentence to the one before it and the one
following it.
Example:
Our freedom's like a gust of wind
that clears the footprint's brand;
Though showers come in summer's heat
rains vanish as through sand.
"Freedom like a gust of wind" Are you saying freedom is
like a vapour, short lived? Now we are free, tomorrow we are
not?
And what's "footprints brand? Foot prints, meaning
freedom? Are you saying freedom from slavery
of some kind? of sin? or as you mentioned in Authors Notes:
black slaves freedom?
I'm sorry Brother Roy - I usually understand your poetry, but somehow this one eludes me.
The six rating is not for the poem but for you, my good Friend.
I'ill join you on the way up - could b any day now,
Brother Jerry
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Bro. Roy,
I had to read slowly, deciphering each word
to understand what you had wit ten. I understood
it was about the cost of freedom, but I had
a little trouble understanding the relationship
of a sentence to the one before it and the one
following it.
Example:
Our freedom's like a gust of wind
that clears the footprint's brand;
Though showers come in summer's heat
rains vanish as through sand.
"Freedom like a gust of wind" Are you saying freedom is
like a vapour, short lived? Now we are free, tomorrow we are
not?
And what's "footprints brand? Foot prints, meaning
freedom? Are you saying freedom from slavery
of some kind? of sin? or as you mentioned in Authors Notes:
black slaves freedom?
I'm sorry Brother Roy - I usually understand your poetry, but somehow this one eludes me.
The six rating is not for the poem but for you, my good Friend.
I'ill join you on the way up - could b any day now,
Brother Jerry
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Dear brother, I was inferring that man's version of freedom is like their belief in truth, the Pontius Pilate question, "what is truth?" Jesus Christ personifies truth, He is truth, man's version of freedom is illusion! Jesus set us free from sin and guilt giving us eternal peace, setting us free from eternal damnation. When the civil war slaves were set "Free" they were still treated the same. So free from what, to what? Hope that explains, but wonderful review, my dear brother, thank you, you sure are a blessing, Roy.
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YES Brother Roy, when you explain it it becms crystal clear. I don't see how I could not have piked up on it myself.
Some times I seem to have a little blockage in my spiritual brain and things go right over my head.
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You are still God's beloved, and as such have genius status, you will always have that precious ability to bring a smile to my face and your Heavenly Father's. Blessings my brother, Roy
Comment from MizKat
Hi Roy,
This is another beautiful poem that you've written. You are one of my favorite poets on FS. I love how you always, or most of the time, put scriptures to go with what you've written. Not only do I enjoy reading your work, but also great words from the Bible.
Kat
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Hi Roy,
This is another beautiful poem that you've written. You are one of my favorite poets on FS. I love how you always, or most of the time, put scriptures to go with what you've written. Not only do I enjoy reading your work, but also great words from the Bible.
Kat
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks Kat, for the wonderful review, comments and excellent rating, blessings, Roy.
Comment from CR Delport
With anything in life, I think freedom is just an illusion. I mean, how free are we really. You can't even go watch a movie or some nut can pull out a gun and shoot you. Anyway, this is very well written.
take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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With anything in life, I think freedom is just an illusion. I mean, how free are we really. You can't even go watch a movie or some nut can pull out a gun and shoot you. Anyway, this is very well written.
take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks, for the wonderful review, comments and excellent rating, freedom does seem to be an illusion, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Pantygynt
When I first started reviewing your poetry , I think it was in April of this year, I remember criticising your lack of maintenance of form; you'd start with a couple of stanzas in a set form but later on this would decay. I also remember you replying that you were not much concerned with the form but wrote pretty much what came into your head at the time.
Well, either better things are coming into your head these days or your are paying more attention to the details of poesy, because I have noticed recently how much improved the form of your work has become. I can assure you that the content, your message has not been affected adversly by this experience. In fact, your poetry becomes more memorable now it sings from one hymn sheet from start to finish.
This one is a case in point. It says what you want it to say and we remember what you said.
I was moved to look up the whole of the Bobby Magee lyric and I think "freedom" there means something difference. Having lost her lover she is "free" of him and so she has nothing left to lose. It is a slightly different take on the idea of freedom. Regardless of this I don't think there is anything in the song, that is simply a romantic song about lost erotic love, that in any way detracts from, or conflicts with, the content of your poem.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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When I first started reviewing your poetry , I think it was in April of this year, I remember criticising your lack of maintenance of form; you'd start with a couple of stanzas in a set form but later on this would decay. I also remember you replying that you were not much concerned with the form but wrote pretty much what came into your head at the time.
Well, either better things are coming into your head these days or your are paying more attention to the details of poesy, because I have noticed recently how much improved the form of your work has become. I can assure you that the content, your message has not been affected adversly by this experience. In fact, your poetry becomes more memorable now it sings from one hymn sheet from start to finish.
This one is a case in point. It says what you want it to say and we remember what you said.
I was moved to look up the whole of the Bobby Magee lyric and I think "freedom" there means something difference. Having lost her lover she is "free" of him and so she has nothing left to lose. It is a slightly different take on the idea of freedom. Regardless of this I don't think there is anything in the song, that is simply a romantic song about lost erotic love, that in any way detracts from, or conflicts with, the content of your poem.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the great review and thoroughly comprehensive review, it is most appreciated, I remember the poem you mention, I think that was the only one I wrote in differing form, it was a couple of separate poems with a similar theme, I think one of the many sonnet forms has two stanzas, one abab and the other aabb, not completely unknown, but for me personally, an aberration, fantastic review in detail, thanks so much, blessings, Roy.
Comment from mfowler
I recognised the nod to Bobby McGee before I got to the notes. You've chosen well to portray freedom as an illusion such as those exemplified in your metaphors: showers come in summer's heat
rains vanish as through sand.
Then you get to the nub of the teaching. Stanza 5-6 declare freedom's truly found elsewhere:
I do believe that freedom's bought
with blood, a cross, a thorn.
absolved am I from guilt and shame;
my peace from chaos torn.
Now freedom's just another word,
unless it's bought not won.
One must surrender life for death,
as Jesus Christ has done.
Like Bobby McGee, I knew your faith lesson was coming. You never fail to amaze me how you keep finding fresh and powerful metaphors to spread the Gospel and your personal experience of God. Great work.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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I recognised the nod to Bobby McGee before I got to the notes. You've chosen well to portray freedom as an illusion such as those exemplified in your metaphors: showers come in summer's heat
rains vanish as through sand.
Then you get to the nub of the teaching. Stanza 5-6 declare freedom's truly found elsewhere:
I do believe that freedom's bought
with blood, a cross, a thorn.
absolved am I from guilt and shame;
my peace from chaos torn.
Now freedom's just another word,
unless it's bought not won.
One must surrender life for death,
as Jesus Christ has done.
Like Bobby McGee, I knew your faith lesson was coming. You never fail to amaze me how you keep finding fresh and powerful metaphors to spread the Gospel and your personal experience of God. Great work.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks Mark, you are my favourite reviewer by a country mile, I really appreciate, I come away feeling good, thanks mate, blessings, Roy.
Comment from ellie6
Well written, The nature of freedom is nebulous, who is totally free? A well thought out and well wwritten poem that causes one to think.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Well written, The nature of freedom is nebulous, who is totally free? A well thought out and well wwritten poem that causes one to think.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks Ellie, for the great review and and comments, blessings Roy.
Comment from LIJ Red
The Civil War was not going well for Lincoln until he invoked human freedom in 1863. Jesus said little about slavery, Paul reluctantly accepted it as a fact of life. Catholicism gave it mixed reviews. The Protestants attacked it...maybe we, the
species, are growing...your poem set me to thinking, Roy. Excellent.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
|
The Civil War was not going well for Lincoln until he invoked human freedom in 1863. Jesus said little about slavery, Paul reluctantly accepted it as a fact of life. Catholicism gave it mixed reviews. The Protestants attacked it...maybe we, the
species, are growing...your poem set me to thinking, Roy. Excellent.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thanks my friend, for the great review and and comments, blessings Roy.
