Reviews from

The Enchanted Toyshelf

a modern sonnet about fairies at bedtime

90 total reviews 
Comment from Curt Mongold
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Beautiful fairy tale Brooke. The only suggestio I would have for this lovely piece is in this line-
and sweet dreams become a promise she keeps
Do you think it would sound better if you changed the last two words to "to keep?"
Sincerely,
Curt

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    I will reread and consider that - I'm open to change - Ian already talked me into two earlier :-) thanks, Brooke
reply by Curt Mongold on 09-Dec-2008
    See? One more won't hurt! Just one... itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny lil change, huh? Hmm? Just one? For me?
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    I'm still pondering - I rejected one of Ian's and accepted two - perhaps if you gave me another one so I could toss one and keep one. LOL
reply by Curt Mongold on 09-Dec-2008
    Ok, redo the whole thing and start over! Or make one little itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, tiny little change in the wording! How's that for a choice?
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    Curt, one might interpret that as mean-spirited. Ian is nice. He cajoles me into change. He is so nice that I not only ended up making 2/3 of his changes, but I'm planning to write a new fairy poem dedicated to his little Mollie, custom-made to her interests. I'm not so sure I'll be writing any poem to you and Chet anytime soon!!!
    Rewrite the whole damned thing???? I may go into a total funk now, questioning whether I have any talent at all or if people have just been sucking up to me because I pay a buck. Oh, you are going to send me into therapy right before the holidays. If I should disappear from the site and people start to ask around what might possibly have happened to me, you can just own up to having shoved me right over the cliff! ;-)
reply by Curt Mongold on 09-Dec-2008
    Brooke,
    I think you, of all people would know about being mean-spirited! Wasn't it you just the other day that threatened to have me banned by all of your fans if I didn't make a rhyme to "Fido?" I had to take half my bottle of xanax and a goodly dose of merlot just to function last week without seriously contemplating suicide! The razor is still next to my keyboard.
    What are you trying to say? Ian is a nice guy...and what am I, a troll?
    All I wanted to do was offer you a little help, as a friend, and now you've gone and made me feel like used toilet paper. You might as well pull the handle and finish the job, flush me away like the waste you made me feel like...thanks a lot.
reply by Curt Mongold on 09-Dec-2008
    Brooke,
    I think you, of all people would know about being mean-spirited! Wasn't it you just the other day that threatened to have me banned by all of your fans if I didn't make a rhyme to "Fido?" I had to take half my bottle of xanax and a goodly dose of merlot just to function last week without seriously contemplating suicide! The razor is still next to my keyboard.
    What are you trying to say? Ian is a nice guy...and what am I, a troll?
    All I wanted to do was offer you a little help, as a friend, and now you've gone and made me feel like used toilet paper. You might as well pull the handle and finish the job, flush me away like the waste you made me feel like...thanks a lot.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    A razor??? You're trying to one up me with a razor?? and xanax?? You want to guilt me into changing a children's poem by threatening me with the possibility of your taking half a bottle of pills, downing too much wine and using a razor???
    That is low. That is just SO low! You look so darned friendly in that picture! Poor Chet is all I can say, saddled with that name, forced to be the one to have to slip and slide on your bathroom floor as he goes skidding on the overflowing crimson-colored tub water just because you decided to go melodramatic when some lady wouldn't change a couple of words in a children's poem?? A fairy poem at that?? Who will feed poor Chet? Will his new owners have 800 count sheets for him to lie on?
    Will there even be new owners or will the shelter have to dispatch him when nobody will adopt the traumatized mutt with blood-stained paws?? Shame. Shame.
reply by Curt Mongold on 09-Dec-2008
    Poor Chet indeed! I called him "Fido" and now he needs doggie therapy for identtiy issues! There was no threat, I said that I took the xanax last week so I wouldn't kill myself, but as always, just like with your poem, you don't listen to what I have to say. And why should you? I'm a troll in your eyes, not fit to comment on something that was only intended to help you, but oh no, you're much too perfect to accept any suggestions from a commoner that lives in the sticks. Just because I live in a hole and eat bugs, you would dismiss my opinion and attack me like a shiite strapped with TNT. Oh, the travesty of it all! Fid... I mean, Chet and I will not sully your pristine doorstep with our foul smelling ideas a moment longer. We know where we are not wanted. Besides, it was Chet's idea to tell you in the first place. I said you would react this way, but he insisted. I knew it, I just knew it...come on Chet, let's leave before she confronts us with another volley of verbal epithets.
    Woof!
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
    You live in a hole and eat bugs??? What happened to the man with the merlot and the 800 count sheets?? Methinks you spin so many lies you can't keep track of them.
    My father told me many a long year ago that a man who writes poems is not to be trusted - and you don't even want to guess what his opinion would have been of a man who read fairy poems!!! My father was a man's man, a construction worker,
    no fairy poem reading , wine-drinking, thread counting guy was he!!! What has my life been reduced to - being nagged and guilted by a man of questionable manly credentials...
Comment from redrider6612
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was beautiful. I really love the alliteration, 'luminosity lightens' and 'peaceful presence' to name a couple, they add such a wonderful lilt. Great flow and rythmn, perfect rhymes. I love the idea of a fairie that sings lullabies, calming the fears of child and toy alike. Nice job indeed.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    I'm so glad you found this pleasing! thanks so much, Brooke
Comment from tator tot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed the rhyme of your poem and your word choice. The poem has "sleepy" words which have a calming effect on the reader. The color of your background and the picture help to create the calming, sweet, lullaby feel of the poem. Thank you.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    I thank you for your most gracious response, Brooke :-)
Comment from tteach
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I could imagine a child reciting these lines! Yes, they are way above a childn't writing ability, but the sentiment is child-like. On the other hand, I wonder how many adults feel secure when all the "blankets" are in place?

A well written poem that is a joy to read.
terry

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    terry, thanks so much for your great analysis! Brooke
Comment from Windhover
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey Pearl, this would make a lovely lullabye to read to a child, but I suppose that's no accident. Great flow and rhythm appropriate to the topic. >W<

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    thank you - your comments always make me smile, Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well written poem stressing the fears of the young doing the dark hours. It has a very strong cadence. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    charlie - thanks so much, Brooke
reply by c_lucas on 09-Dec-2008
    You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from allborn66
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very cute poem. It tells a wonderful story. I like the flow and the rhyming scheme. I like he picture is very nice.
Barbara

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    thanks - it took a while to find a suitable picture. Brooke
Comment from Penpal
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Brooke,

I know you believe in fairies! And I like the sweet embrace that whispers through your words within this poem, but I've got to tell ya... it's of no significance where real Fairies are concerned. For they are truly wicked and just hope to bring a mortal to their knees. I've been there, and even witnessed some of the inordinate fools ...


Pen

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    Ah Pen, we just know a different class of fairies! :-D thanks ever so much, Brooke
reply by Penpal on 09-Dec-2008
    thankfully so ...is the fools that speak of wondrous things.
Comment from sara-beth
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is very beautiful, it would make a lovely lullaby in itself! I especially like the image you created in my mind of a beautiful fairy who would protect and comfort.....awesome!

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    You are so sweet!!! Thank you, Brooke
Comment from earthlybeing
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wonderful poem. Loved the flow and words. What a great thought that it is a little fairy we fear and not something bad. Well done. Thanks, Jeanette

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2008

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
    Jeanette - thanks so much, Brooke