The Dance
He took my hand and we began70 total reviews
Comment from Oatmeal
Jmf4119,
The arrangement was orderly. The theme was one of my favorites. The flow was smooth. The rhyming well done. Emotional reflections are insightful and impressive. Descriptive picture.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I wish you the best in the contest.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Jmf4119,
The arrangement was orderly. The theme was one of my favorites. The flow was smooth. The rhyming well done. Emotional reflections are insightful and impressive. Descriptive picture.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I wish you the best in the contest.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thank you Oatmeal for your thoughtful and encouraging review.' I appreciate your comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good evening, Janet.
I usually avoid poems about romance and love.
I believe more in the boogeyman than I do in love.
However, since it's your poem, I felt it was the least that I could do. I've got a sneaking suspicion that my dark poems aren't exactly your genre of choice either but you still take the time to read them.
At least, I have never seen you write anything that one could consider as the least bit dark.
Having said that, the timing, flow, cadence and rhyming of this poetic proclamation portraying a dance of love is exceptional, as is all of your poetry.
It's not only a good poem, it is also a well written sonnet and in perfect iambic pentameter, at least as far as my untrained ear could tell as I read it aloud.
You have the tell-tale volta coming in line nine as is customary with sonnets of this type.
The rhyming couplet was a beautiful summation that this happy couple would live happily ever-after.
Well done, and best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Good evening, Janet.
I usually avoid poems about romance and love.
I believe more in the boogeyman than I do in love.
However, since it's your poem, I felt it was the least that I could do. I've got a sneaking suspicion that my dark poems aren't exactly your genre of choice either but you still take the time to read them.
At least, I have never seen you write anything that one could consider as the least bit dark.
Having said that, the timing, flow, cadence and rhyming of this poetic proclamation portraying a dance of love is exceptional, as is all of your poetry.
It's not only a good poem, it is also a well written sonnet and in perfect iambic pentameter, at least as far as my untrained ear could tell as I read it aloud.
You have the tell-tale volta coming in line nine as is customary with sonnets of this type.
The rhyming couplet was a beautiful summation that this happy couple would live happily ever-after.
Well done, and best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thank you Dean for reading my sonnet love poem. I know it is not your preference but I do appreciate you reviewing. You are right - dark poems are not my favorite but you have a way with that genre that is creative and sometimes fun and always well done. I do have to admit that sometimes...I turn off the music. haha
I do have question for you. One reviewer said that I should not use a watermarked illustration. The site I got it from said free but he still insists that if I didn't pay for the rights, I could still get into trouble. What is your recommendation?.
Thanks Dean.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from tyco2992
This was such a sweet poem. every line was truly beautiful It gives off such a joyful vibe and brings peace to the reader. I thought this was about an actual love until I read your follow message but knowing it's not shows how talented you are as a writer and a dreamer wonderful job!!!!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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This was such a sweet poem. every line was truly beautiful It gives off such a joyful vibe and brings peace to the reader. I thought this was about an actual love until I read your follow message but knowing it's not shows how talented you are as a writer and a dreamer wonderful job!!!!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.' I appreciate your sweet comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Marykelly
The dance as a metaphor for a life long loving relationship adds life to the love and gives it energy. There is an intimacy between dancers so it is an appropriate comparison for the intimacy of a loving relationship. The quatrains and couplet comprise the form of a sonnet which also adds weight and importance to the subject matter, love.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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The dance as a metaphor for a life long loving relationship adds life to the love and gives it energy. There is an intimacy between dancers so it is an appropriate comparison for the intimacy of a loving relationship. The quatrains and couplet comprise the form of a sonnet which also adds weight and importance to the subject matter, love.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thank you Marykelly for your thoughtful and encouraging review.' I appreciate your comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Nottoway
What a very beautiful poem. A great presentation of the beginning of a relationship and the joy of reaching matrimony.
A poem of love which celebrates when two people find their forever.
Wonderful.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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What a very beautiful poem. A great presentation of the beginning of a relationship and the joy of reaching matrimony.
A poem of love which celebrates when two people find their forever.
Wonderful.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review and for those special six stars.
I appreciate your kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from LaRosa
a dream we ladies all share!
this poem flows in such a gentle and logical story-telling sense.
I enjoyed the beginning of 'the dance' leading to new life beginnings and the hopes and excitements that travel with it all.
not a poet, but I like yours!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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a dream we ladies all share!
this poem flows in such a gentle and logical story-telling sense.
I enjoyed the beginning of 'the dance' leading to new life beginnings and the hopes and excitements that travel with it all.
not a poet, but I like yours!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review .
I appreciate your kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from patcelaw
A dance does not a marriage make, there is a lot more to finding harmony in life than dancing to wonderful music. My husband didn't dance either , but we found a lot of things we loved to do together. Patricia
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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A dance does not a marriage make, there is a lot more to finding harmony in life than dancing to wonderful music. My husband didn't dance either , but we found a lot of things we loved to do together. Patricia
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thank you Patricia for your thoughtful and encouraging review..
I appreciate your kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from MaggieF
Maybe he'll surprise you one day. Lovely romantic poem full of rhythm. Good rhyming scheme makes the poem scan well. Loved 'we whirled around in harmony each day', what a picture that paints. MaggieF
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Maybe he'll surprise you one day. Lovely romantic poem full of rhythm. Good rhyming scheme makes the poem scan well. Loved 'we whirled around in harmony each day', what a picture that paints. MaggieF
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thank you Maggie for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
I appreciate your kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from humpwhistle
Best of luck with the voters.
a symphony of wonder filled our eyes.--just wondering if 'symphony' (auditory) can fill one's 'eyes'?
But, could this dance forever be the one
that lasts through tribulations and the din
of troubles that would go beyond the sun --
to pirouette and then begin again.--I believe this is a question (?)
Peace, Lee
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Best of luck with the voters.
a symphony of wonder filled our eyes.--just wondering if 'symphony' (auditory) can fill one's 'eyes'?
But, could this dance forever be the one
that lasts through tribulations and the din
of troubles that would go beyond the sun --
to pirouette and then begin again.--I believe this is a question (?)
Peace, Lee
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thank you Lee for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
I looked at the line "a symphony of wonder filled our eyes" and I agree with your so I changed it to 'a symphony of wonder filled the skies".
Also, the ? at the end of the third stanza. Don't know how I missed that one but I appreciate your reminder.
As always, I appreciate your kind comments and suggestions.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from lyenochka
I like the metaphor of the dance to this deep love relationship. I also like the optimistic ending as one always questions about how long a commitment can last but the poet confirms that it will "last the test of time."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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I like the metaphor of the dance to this deep love relationship. I also like the optimistic ending as one always questions about how long a commitment can last but the poet confirms that it will "last the test of time."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
