Reviews from

Happy Holidays?

Description of a dream

63 total reviews 
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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Hi Ward,

Wow, what a dream that must have been!
I can never remember mine.

I really like this stanza....
What are the reasons we do what we do
Is it because we have some to prove
Do we know where we're going and what is the cost
So little we've gained from all that we've lost

Well written, my friend!

Cheers &
Keep Smilin'... Jax

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
    Thank you for your review and comments. I occasionally have lucid dreams. The first song I wrote came to me that way, I woke up with it in my head. I thought this one might be rather strange for a lot of people.
reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 17-Jun-2014
    I really liked the way it kind of evolved. A really interesting read ('-')
Comment from PearlW
Excellent
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This is a dream?

It's very surreal. I don't mean that as a bad thing, it just hops along at a strange pace, which gives it that quality. It's good, it's unique. I like it.

This: "There were a dozen dead natives with turkey to eat" -- Reads as dead natives having turkey to eat. I am not saying it's wrong ... I'm just telling you how I read it. Is that what you were going for?

Anyway, it's not important. Good work! I found this to be a rather enjoyable read, if a little on the stranger side, but that is what make words so great, isn't it?

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
    It is suppose to be a dream. The native are the native Americans who helped the pilgrims, had Thanksgiving with them, then were eventually all but wiped out by the newcomers to this continent. The turkey is suppose to refer to Thanksgiving even though they probably didn't have it at the first one.
    Thank you for your review and your comments. I agree, it is a little strange. But so am I.
reply by PearlW on 18-Jun-2014
    I know the history :-) It's just the way you wrote it that was a little, well, strange to me.

    Nothing wrong with being 'strange' ... I'm weird too - that's what makes life so interesting.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
    Yes it does.
Comment from chicken scratch love
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This was a journey that, oddly enough, that took place in the character's mind within minutes...yet it describes centuries of unfolding matter. Very cool how it bounced in and out of the present setting! Check the last stanza, first line for a typo. Loved it! Thanks for the share!

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 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
    Thank you for your review and comments. I appreciate that you pointed out the typo. What I had looked very strange.