The Machine Stops
When appliances break84 total reviews
Comment from JeanneHP
Your appliance poem put a smile on my face. I think you covered most of them, also what goes wrong with them. Well written and loved your rhyming.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Your appliance poem put a smile on my face. I think you covered most of them, also what goes wrong with them. Well written and loved your rhyming.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Jeanne, or should that be 'merci'?
Steve
Comment from marycec
Hilarious! What a co incidence because someone in my writing group just recommended that I read the very story by Foster that you mention in your notes.This had me laughing. I loved' the DVD needs TLC , and' my Bluetooth needs the dentist' best but all of it was fabulous!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Hilarious! What a co incidence because someone in my writing group just recommended that I read the very story by Foster that you mention in your notes.This had me laughing. I loved' the DVD needs TLC , and' my Bluetooth needs the dentist' best but all of it was fabulous!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Mary.
I should have warned readers that The Machine Stops is not really a 'short' story very perceptive though and many claim it predicted the internet.
Steve
Comment from Hawaiian Mermaid
Aloha Kiwisteveh,
Wow! this is so great and I can really relate to all the woes. I'm having one right now.... Love the humor and bouncy flow with excellent rhyming. Wish I had a 6 it deserves a 10. Thank you for sharing. If it doesn't win I'll blow a fuse. Good luck.
Aloha, Ginger
Hawaiian Mermaid
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Aloha Kiwisteveh,
Wow! this is so great and I can really relate to all the woes. I'm having one right now.... Love the humor and bouncy flow with excellent rhyming. Wish I had a 6 it deserves a 10. Thank you for sharing. If it doesn't win I'll blow a fuse. Good luck.
Aloha, Ginger
Hawaiian Mermaid
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Ginger. Don't let all those palm trees and golden sands go to your head - the fat lady ain't even tuned up yet.
Steve
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is really a good one Steve, You have thought up some really funny household disasters and it sounds as though you are headed for the poorhouse if you replace them all. Good luck in the contest. This is an excellent contender. Nancy
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
This is really a good one Steve, You have thought up some really funny household disasters and it sounds as though you are headed for the poorhouse if you replace them all. Good luck in the contest. This is an excellent contender. Nancy
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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OK, I'll admit it's only partly true, but we did have major electrical problems last week and after the electrician had come and gone ($300+) both the router and the computer speakers bit the dust, not to mention more expense last month with septic tank issues, so I kinda know the feeling and yes the poorhouse is looking like a distinct possibility.
Steve
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
Very nice. This, In my opinion will be the one that sets the bar in this competition. I love the rhyme which matches the meter in lightness and tone.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Very nice. This, In my opinion will be the one that sets the bar in this competition. I love the rhyme which matches the meter in lightness and tone.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Sarah Butterfly
Amusing poem to read. Fluently written in a very accessible style. Solid rhymu used throughout the verses. Very nicely done!
Kind regards
Sarah
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Amusing poem to read. Fluently written in a very accessible style. Solid rhymu used throughout the verses. Very nicely done!
Kind regards
Sarah
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Sarah - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Left me with a grin. Really amusing. I like poetry that makes me wish there were dozen more verses. This could have gone on. It was a fun read. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Left me with a grin. Really amusing. I like poetry that makes me wish there were dozen more verses. This could have gone on. It was a fun read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Well, I could have gone on, but I was running out of applicable appliances.
Thanks for reading.
Steve
Comment from Sylvia Page
Machines go berserk, leave you in the lurch, never rely on them they will not work. What a mess to deal with and when they do die on you they all go off together like dominoes. Very good rhythm, and word play. Not forced. I enjoyed reading it this great composition. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Sylvia
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Machines go berserk, leave you in the lurch, never rely on them they will not work. What a mess to deal with and when they do die on you they all go off together like dominoes. Very good rhythm, and word play. Not forced. I enjoyed reading it this great composition. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Sylvia
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Sylvia, thanks a lot for your kind words and the liberal sprinkling of stars.
Steve
Comment from Louise Michelle
Oh, dear, that's what I call a very bad day, lol. Perhaps you should move to a cabin in the woods where life would be much simpler. What a fun read and very well written! Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
Oh, dear, that's what I call a very bad day, lol. Perhaps you should move to a cabin in the woods where life would be much simpler. What a fun read and very well written! Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Lou!
I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee;
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.
Steve
Comment from Eternal Muse
This was a lot of fun, Steve, too bad my sixth star larder is empty.
It seems all appliances and everything electronic broke at the same time (lol), providing for the most engaging write. I can see it as a winner.
Favorite lines (among so many):
The kettle gives a deathly wail
then, whimpering, expires;
the stereo's demented
Llke a dozen off-key choirs.
My iPad tells me I don't know
the year that I was born;
my smart phone's lost its smarts it seems;
my Kindle's reading porn.
Good luck!! Love, Yelena
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
This was a lot of fun, Steve, too bad my sixth star larder is empty.
It seems all appliances and everything electronic broke at the same time (lol), providing for the most engaging write. I can see it as a winner.
Favorite lines (among so many):
The kettle gives a deathly wail
then, whimpering, expires;
the stereo's demented
Llke a dozen off-key choirs.
My iPad tells me I don't know
the year that I was born;
my smart phone's lost its smarts it seems;
my Kindle's reading porn.
Good luck!! Love, Yelena
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Yelena, thanks for the kind words, and am I right in thinking you are the organiser? So thanks for that also.
Steve
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Yes, Steve, I am the organizer. My poem in the contest example depicts the real event that happened when I lived in Vegas. That inspired the contest topic.