Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 4, Part 4"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
67 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
I missed the ghost tour, Barbara. Maybe it's good that I did. I can see where it will help Paige understand the haunting of her own house. Very interesting, and well presented. :) nancy
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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I missed the ghost tour, Barbara. Maybe it's good that I did. I can see where it will help Paige understand the haunting of her own house. Very interesting, and well presented. :) nancy
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from donaldww
This tour is an excellent continuation to your story. I found a couple things for you to look at:
"I'm not sure. I can feel the atrocities that happen[e]d to humans here. I need a minute." Paige looked around at the group, their faces were somber. Silence filled the air., and complete silence filled the air. They feel it too.
This shorter version might be even better:
"Not sure. I can feel the atrocities that happened here, I need a minute." She turned to look at the somber group. Silence filled the air.
Evan waited a few minutes, the[n] added, "There's a book and movie titled, 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.' The movie was filmed here." [Book, magazine, and movie titles (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil) should be in italics rather than quotes.]
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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This tour is an excellent continuation to your story. I found a couple things for you to look at:
"I'm not sure. I can feel the atrocities that happen[e]d to humans here. I need a minute." Paige looked around at the group, their faces were somber. Silence filled the air.
This shorter version might be even better:
"Not sure. I can feel the atrocities that happened here, I need a minute." She turned to look at the somber group. Silence filled the air.
Evan waited a few minutes, the[n] added, "There's a book and movie titled, 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.' The movie was filmed here." [Book, magazine, and movie titles (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil) should be in italics rather than quotes.]
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I have made the changes. I like the shorter version too.
Comment from adewpearl
Great detail in the tour guide's explanation of the old hospital and the epidemic
Paige looked around at the group. - I would add a period there
Today guest have reported seeing - guests
holding his own arm and looking for some one to attach it - that is one great visual
This is so much fun :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Great detail in the tour guide's explanation of the old hospital and the epidemic
Paige looked around at the group. - I would add a period there
Today guest have reported seeing - guests
holding his own arm and looking for some one to attach it - that is one great visual
This is so much fun :-) Brooke
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for your kind review, pointing out my errors, and encouraging words.
Comment from judiverse
This is wonderful, Barbara. I'm loving the history, and Evan is such an interesting tour guide. I like the way he deals with the impatient teenager. Memories of the Civil War wounded and the Yellow Fever victims are haunting in themselves, never mind the ghosts. The reference to the Johnny Mercer house is interesting, because I remembered it from "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil," a book and movie that I truly enjoyed. I think you're laying a good foundation for Paige's own "haunted" house. judi
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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This is wonderful, Barbara. I'm loving the history, and Evan is such an interesting tour guide. I like the way he deals with the impatient teenager. Memories of the Civil War wounded and the Yellow Fever victims are haunting in themselves, never mind the ghosts. The reference to the Johnny Mercer house is interesting, because I remembered it from "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil," a book and movie that I truly enjoyed. I think you're laying a good foundation for Paige's own "haunted" house. judi
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and the encouraging words.
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You are so welcome. The history is, to me, fascinating. judi
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thank you, again.
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You're so welcome, barbara. judi
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Barbara, another well penned post for this story. Spooky stuff, sure glad I read this in daylight.
Your imagery and dialogue is excellent, the emotions within the tour group I also found fascinating.
Great job here, kept me focused on reading and not wanting it to stop.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Edit checks:
"Hospital. No building in Savannah has (witnesses) more misery and death. It was..."// witnessed ?
"Cash slipped his arm around Paige's (waiste), pulled her closer," // waist
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Hi Barbara, another well penned post for this story. Spooky stuff, sure glad I read this in daylight.
Your imagery and dialogue is excellent, the emotions within the tour group I also found fascinating.
Great job here, kept me focused on reading and not wanting it to stop.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Edit checks:
"Hospital. No building in Savannah has (witnesses) more misery and death. It was..."// witnessed ?
"Cash slipped his arm around Paige's (waiste), pulled her closer," // waist
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for your eagle eye. No matter how much I edit, I still miss things.
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Me too, my friend:D
Comment from BethShelby
You are making the history of Savannah come to life. I'm enjoying this ghost tour almost as much as if I were on it. Your writing is always well edited.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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You are making the history of Savannah come to life. I'm enjoying this ghost tour almost as much as if I were on it. Your writing is always well edited.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and your encouraging words.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very interesting and well written. It's like the Copper Queen in Bisbee, Arizona. Residents here all types of sound. You have done a good job of setting up the introduction of your ghost.
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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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This is very interesting and well written. It's like the Copper Queen in Bisbee, Arizona. Residents here all types of sound. You have done a good job of setting up the introduction of your ghost.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and your support.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
