Reviews from

Tantalizing Eyes

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Chapter 12; part 2"
Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?

71 total reviews 
Comment from anabelle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Things are moving quickly in this story now. Steven is gone for a while and Leya has nothing to do but think about losing him to Peggy. Why does love need to be so difficult? Is it because we refuse to talk openly with those we're closest to?

Thanks for the good read.

Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    I think you're right. Talking things out would have been a good thing to do, but how often in real life is that the one thing we don't do. Thank you for your kind review.
reply by anabelle on 17-Apr-2010
    It is, usually, the one thing we don't do. And you're welcome. ;-0
Comment from lola29
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor Peggy, she's a hot mess. It's difficult to discern who's telling the truth. I do believe Steven loves Leya, but now I'm wondering if Leya is using him.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    We'll have to wait and see. My next post should answer that for you. Thank you for your review.
Comment from missy98writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Barbara,
Pardon my French but I hope Leya slaps the shit out of Peggy. Now that I got that out I will comment on your outstanding chapter. It's a shame I don't have a six to give you. This is a virtual six for you my talented writing lady. Enough butt kissing you latest chapter was chuck full of emotional drama. Matt is a wise ass like me. I love his line to Steven when they were discussing Leya and the marriage:

"How should she know? Read you mind?"

I love the internal dialogue of Leya's after hearing about Peggy:

Leya ran to her room. When Matt said Steven promised to discuss things when he returned, I could wait. There's no way I'll allow Peggy to get her clutches into Steven.

Matt is crafty and smiles when he realized Leya is jealous that Peggy visited Steven at the cabin:

He took her hand in his. "Peggy isn't a threat to you. Steven was upset and got careless. He's sorry it happened." As he turned to leave, he smiled and said, "I'll tell Ralph to help you call your mother."

So far this is my favorite chapter because finally Leya's got the gumption to fight for the man she loves. I hope Peggy eats her dust. Brilliant job on this chapter. I commend you. That's my 2 cents for what it's worth.

Your friend. .. Melissa!

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    Thank you girlfriend. Thank you for the virtual 6. It melts my heart.
reply by missy98writer on 17-Apr-2010
    I hope you post another chapter soon. I found out this is my last semester my dad is teaching. Its about time he wants to work in the garden. He loves to garden. He's planting heriloom tomatoes next weekend if the weather stays nice.
    Melissa.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    I have reread my next post and it's close to ready to post, but I only have two pumps so I need to get going.
reply by missy98writer on 17-Apr-2010
    I'm a reviewing machine today so far I've review thirty poems and five chapters. I have fifteen or so more to read throught and that's folks in my PM before I can send thank you to folks for reviewing my poems the last three days. I've posted six poems in the past three days and have over 130 reviews to respond too. Dang.
    Melissa.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    There's no way I can do that much posting or reviewing. I don't see how you do it. I am doing laundry and housework as I'm trying to review and keep up with things.
reply by missy98writer on 17-Apr-2010
    I bust my rear end to keep up. But it keeps me from going insane when I'm up in my wheel chair or in bed.
    Melissa.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    I can understand. This summer I am having ankle surgery. I have two torn tendons and the doctors are saying I can't put any weight on it for at least 6 weeks and no stairs for 2 years. I keep mentioning to my guys about laundry, housework and meals, their answer is, that I will have a problem. I may walk, crawl, out the door.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

front of him stood Peggy, she held - you should place a period or semicolon where the comma is
Leya is a woman who understands other women - she knows Peggy can't be trusted one tiny bit and she is determined to keep her man and save her marriage - you portray that extremely well.
You are also good at showing the manipulative ways of Peggy - you're good at writing villains as well as heroes :-)
I like the role Matt plays as a good friend, too - a strong chapter. Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another great chapter, steven is so naive he makes me die. An attractive woman with an incredible cleavage and he turning it down?? maybe it's good that leya overheard the conversation about peggy. at least now she might take action and they can be together properly at last :)

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    I can promise Leya takes action. It may get her into deeper trouble. We'll have to wait and see. Thank you for your review.
Comment from minopavlic
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ms. Wilkey, your writing certainly in its framework of dialogue, characterization and the flow of the plot which blends nicely, makes one a part of the story. It needed the extra length, as an interuption, would have affected the story's struture.

Thanks

no_obstacle

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from TexAnn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I rate this 5 because it makes me want to read more and I don't feel confused.
The last part, is Leya comparing Steven to her father?
...If Peggy had made advances toward my father...
Good luck, TexAnn

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Leya is feeling threatened and Steven is running from his problem. Good job.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your review and you continued support.
reply by c_lucas on 17-Apr-2010
    You're welcome, Barbara.
    Charlie
Comment from Donovan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have know a few Peggy's in my life, where are they when I need them, I digress. You paint such a vivid image with your descriptions. The power of your writing, I think, is in the plot and sub plots. The story carries itself. Your ardent supporter. Donovan...The post scripts says I can not give you anymore sixes right now....who is this morally superior watchdog that thinks they know better than I when you deserve a six?

PS...Maybe it is just the cleavage!

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    Thank you for being a fan and a supporter. Your reviews always make me smile. The vitual six is perfect.
Comment from Valkarie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

If the other chapters are as good as this one then the finished product will be one hell of a good read.
The rhythm flowed so well which captured the tension of the piece, and your characterization was so realistic embellishing this work and making it more interesting.
A great story line concise and powerful and visual and I have to say a very creative piece of writing.

Valkarie...

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
    I could give you a big hug for this review, but that probably wouldn't be appropriate so I will settle for thank you.