Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "haiku suite (gills-gasping fish)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
53 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Honestly, Andre, I have read, written and reviewed so many haiku over the past two months I cannot recall if I reviewed this or not.
So, to err on the side of caution, I have decided to review it just in case.
gills-gasping fish
swishes against eagle's grip
air apparent ... Excellent use of alliteration in your first line.
Nice melody of "g" and "s" sounds in your second line.
Your satori is not only a witty take on an old phrase, but I enjoyed the layered meaning here as well...
eagle flies fish
toward eaglet's gaping beak
seafood flown daily ... Again, good alliteration in your opening line with, "flies fish".
Eaglets, or eagle hatchlings, are always and forever hungry. That being said, their pointy, beaked mouths are perpetually agape, it seems.
Again, "Seafood flown daily" is clever; a good observation of the two lines in the phrase that come before it.
Excellent haiku suite, Andre.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Honestly, Andre, I have read, written and reviewed so many haiku over the past two months I cannot recall if I reviewed this or not.
So, to err on the side of caution, I have decided to review it just in case.
gills-gasping fish
swishes against eagle's grip
air apparent ... Excellent use of alliteration in your first line.
Nice melody of "g" and "s" sounds in your second line.
Your satori is not only a witty take on an old phrase, but I enjoyed the layered meaning here as well...
eagle flies fish
toward eaglet's gaping beak
seafood flown daily ... Again, good alliteration in your opening line with, "flies fish".
Eaglets, or eagle hatchlings, are always and forever hungry. That being said, their pointy, beaked mouths are perpetually agape, it seems.
Again, "Seafood flown daily" is clever; a good observation of the two lines in the phrase that come before it.
Excellent haiku suite, Andre.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Dean for your detailed review. I am glad you enjoyed the layered meaning. You are right. I have reviewed so many haiku that it is hard to remember what I reviewed. Thanks again.
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You are more than welcome, Andre.
Happy haikuing, my friend.
~Dean :)
Comment from Ella25
It is a well-presented haiku. I am still learning the meaning. Love the image of the eagle holding the fleshy fish. Catchy words. Excellent work. Blessings, Ella
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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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It is a well-presented haiku. I am still learning the meaning. Love the image of the eagle holding the fleshy fish. Catchy words. Excellent work. Blessings, Ella
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Yes, Ella, catchy words indeed. Thank you for your review.
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You are welcome, Andre. Ella
Comment from write hand blue
An impressive photo of an eagle in action as it catches a fish. I like the terms 'air apparent' and seafood flown daily. A good, appropriate addition to the multi author book...
~Mel~
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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An impressive photo of an eagle in action as it catches a fish. I like the terms 'air apparent' and seafood flown daily. A good, appropriate addition to the multi author book...
~Mel~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Mel, for granting my haiku its first review in its re-post. While I could, and am, writing a new haiku for the air theme, I felt my present haiku was too good to leave out of the book. Thanks again.
