Reviews from

flip flops held in hand: 5-7-5 suite

track memories, not sand, into the house

87 total reviews 
Comment from evilynne
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is great imagery. I can just see the children's feet covered with sand, sparkling in the sun. The three parts fit together well.

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 04-May-2015
    Yes, evilynne, if you look closely at sand covered feet in the sun they sparkle because of the mirror and prism like crystals. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Megalips
Excellent
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Fabulous job with this...it follows the format as best I can tell and provides wonderful imagery to the point I feel like I'm on the beach with the kids, covered in sand. Nice personification. I love the last line...back to reality.

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 04-May-2015
    Yes, Megalips, I wanted my poems words to encrust you with memories. I am glad you enjoyed my imagery. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Maritza M. Mejia
Excellent
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I love the style of a Haiku suite 5-7-5, but I rather had only three lines instead of three stanzas.
What do you think?

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 04-May-2015
    Yes, Maritza, the images and words the sandy feet evoked could not be contained in three lines, although each of my haiku works seperately. My last three line haiku on cherries worked, but here I pushed myself to create series of linked haiku that are more powerful when they stand together. Thank you for your review.
reply by Maritza M. Mejia on 04-May-2015
    You're very welcome!
    Maritza
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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What a wonderful poem from just watching children walking in the sand in Mexico. Didn't know Americans still went to Mexico. Great art work that you chose for this.

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 04-May-2015
    Yes, there are still Americans living here and vacationing here. I am glad you enjoyed my poem. I searching for a new one. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Herkjv1611
Excellent
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Good kind of flip flopping on a beach.f Feet movement is one important voluntary part of the body. Using feet for good directions of life from Child to adult stage. The Haiku about feet is awesome.Thanks.

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 04-May-2015
    Thank you for your kind review. I am glad you found my haiku about sandy feet awesome.
Comment from ameen786
Excellent
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Awesome! You captured the image of sparkling feet wonderfully, specially, in the last stanza the imagery is vividly descriptive with excellent choice of words; thanks for sharing this delightful set of haikus.

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 04-May-2015
    Yes, it is easy to focus on a person's smile, caress, or eyes, but not on sandy feet. I am thrilled you found the imagery of my sparkling feet vivid and descriptive. Thanks for your review.
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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You captured the scene of this children on the bus and I had a picture in my mind of the children on the bus. Many blessings. Patricia

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 04-May-2015
    Thank you, Patricia, for your fine review. The sight of those sandy feet on a bus inspired me. I grabbed the bar and a magazine in one hand while I wrote with another during the bus ride into town. When we got off the bus, the children's feet sparkled in the sun.
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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Is it considered a weakness if your post would be puzzling without the notes?
Most of mine would be, and this one is helped immensely by the context. I might have called this a 5/7/5 suite, but I am at a loss betimes about Haiku and Senryu
and other short works...so. Excellent.

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 03-May-2015
    Thank you, LIJ Red, for your kind review and insight. Yes, it would be considered a weakness if my poem puzzled you without the notes. I strove to write a poem that can stand on its own without pictures or notes.

    I never considered it as a 5-7-5 suite. I am a bit mystified, too, by the difference between 5-7-5, haiku, and Senryu. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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Your selection of VMarguarite's artwork parallels the "sparkling" feet image perfectly. I enjoyed your series with its echoing "f's" and "s's" and its comical finale. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 03-May-2015
    Thank you, Joan, for your fine review. I am glad you enjoyed my poem.
Comment from Praise000
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sis Cat,

You have come up with an original
haiku poem. Your choice of picture compliments
your story. Great flawless rhyme
"flip flops held in hand..."
"wet toes trudge across the strand..."
Best wishes. from Praise000

 Comment Written 03-May-2015

reply by the author on 03-May-2015
    Thank you, Praise000, for your kind, six star review. This is my first haiku suite. I saw those sandy feet near a beach yesterday and imagined.