Gloom Soon Passes
trochaic meter in 7/8/7/8122 total reviews
Comment from thee-name
Nice poem. Liked because of the actions.
DANDELION SEEDS OF SILK,
HITCH A RIDE ON BREEZE BLOWING
MEADOWS ONCE AS WHITE AS SILK
THEN WILL THRIVE WITH GOLD AGLOWING
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Nice poem. Liked because of the actions.
DANDELION SEEDS OF SILK,
HITCH A RIDE ON BREEZE BLOWING
MEADOWS ONCE AS WHITE AS SILK
THEN WILL THRIVE WITH GOLD AGLOWING
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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thee-name, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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THANK YOU!
Comment from livelylinda
Brooke: isn't it the simple things in life that are so entertaining? Blowing bubbles; big ones, little ones, floating all around, popping, hit your nose, rainbow colors. You don't have to be two to enjoy this little treat. A great picture and rhyming words, this poem is also a treat. Linda
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Brooke: isn't it the simple things in life that are so entertaining? Blowing bubbles; big ones, little ones, floating all around, popping, hit your nose, rainbow colors. You don't have to be two to enjoy this little treat. A great picture and rhyming words, this poem is also a treat. Linda
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Thanks so very much, Linda :-) Brooke
Comment from humpwhistle
Again, Brooke, I feel he oncoming October in your
work. A little darker. 'Slashed' is not a common word in your lexicon.
But I like this annual view of your more 'grounded?' side.
Kids can be gleeful all the time. We adults need
to grouse once in a while.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Again, Brooke, I feel he oncoming October in your
work. A little darker. 'Slashed' is not a common word in your lexicon.
But I like this annual view of your more 'grounded?' side.
Kids can be gleeful all the time. We adults need
to grouse once in a while.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Lee - yep, the chilly Brooke who is too cheap to turn her heat on in September is grousing a bit, but I did think the final two stanzas had a very upbeat message about bleakness being transitory. That part hasn't come across with several reviewers. I have read the poem a bunch of times and swear I thought with the ending it was way more upbeat than the reactions I'm getting... Brooke
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Relax, dollface. We--even I--are accustomed to a certain positivity to your poems.
We jump on differentiations. Your poem is positive, but I think we like when you show the other side, too.
No, I will not turn on the heat, either.
But I'm not cheap. I'm regally frugal.
Baby, don't let the unwashed public change anything about the way you write. You write rings around us.
Peace, Lee
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LOL - I just had another reviewer, a really smart reviewer whose writing I love, think it's about how we need to appreciate the bubbles and flowers of life while they're here because soon they're gone - I really do think I somehow blew this one since I honestly thought that by having the poem end the way it does, my emphasis was on the opposite, that new flowers grow and new bubbles appear. This is driving me bonkers. I hate it when what I was trying to say doesn't communicate well. Relaxing just ain't happening right now, even after you called me dollface. LOL :-) And about being cheap, yeah, I guess being cheap implies I have the money but just choose not to spend it, and that just isn't the case, so yes, frugal it is. LOL Oh, I need a drink, but I don't drink. :-)
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Brooke, you're delighting me with this ramble, because you don't ramble. I think I latched on to something early on your poem, and let it influence me. Really, honey, I think I'm anticipating your October-fest.
I like when you get a little dark and sinister. Black panties, right? No, don't burst my bubble.
L
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black panties??? I'm trying to be cross here and you're referencing black panties?? LOL
Nope, no bubble bursting my friend, you just hold on to your little fantasies... :-)
I hope I don't let you down in October - I know have Sawyer to think of at Halloween, so I'm not sure how many poisonous snakes and rattling chains and serial killers there are going to be - the kid is only two, ya know LOL
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Black panties, black panties, black panties!
For heaven's sake, stop being cross and laugh with me! Sheesh! I'm guessing you look great in black panties. Sue me.
Okay, I won't expect a lot of October gore his year. But, I do look forward to your eerier side. Don't disappoint me.
L
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LOL :-)
Comment from jaded831
We all can change things from sad to happy, and make life a breeze, the key is to control the moment. Start doing things that take us out of our doom and gloom mood. Hopefully your poem will do that, it was a pleasure to read it.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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We all can change things from sad to happy, and make life a breeze, the key is to control the moment. Start doing things that take us out of our doom and gloom mood. Hopefully your poem will do that, it was a pleasure to read it.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Jaded, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
How many times of the day do children's save the day. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
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How many times of the day do children's save the day. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
Comment from evilynne
Very insightful words. New dandelions sprout from seeds, and there are always new bubbles to blow. There is always hope and gloom is only a fading emotion. Best of luck in the contest! Evi
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Very insightful words. New dandelions sprout from seeds, and there are always new bubbles to blow. There is always hope and gloom is only a fading emotion. Best of luck in the contest! Evi
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Evilynne, thank you so much :-) I so appreciate your generous and gracious review. Brooke
Comment from robina1978
As you know I love Trochaic meter and your poem sticks to this. I don't completely get how you come from dandelions to bubbles. A lovely poem though. Best wishes for the prompt.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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As you know I love Trochaic meter and your poem sticks to this. I don't completely get how you come from dandelions to bubbles. A lovely poem though. Best wishes for the prompt.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Ine, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from rjuselius
this is a dreamy piece of poetic art! your imagery and descriptive elements are both wonderful and vivid..! i love the image of children playing in the meadows:)
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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this is a dreamy piece of poetic art! your imagery and descriptive elements are both wonderful and vivid..! i love the image of children playing in the meadows:)
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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rebekka, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from barkingdog
All things come to an end. Brief existence and then the light airy bubbles, dandelion fluff, etc. are gone. Enjoy them while you may. Time is fleeting. (This is what I get from this piece.)
Trochaic meter-- I read it twice just to enjoy it not being iambic. LOL
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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All things come to an end. Brief existence and then the light airy bubbles, dandelion fluff, etc. are gone. Enjoy them while you may. Time is fleeting. (This is what I get from this piece.)
Trochaic meter-- I read it twice just to enjoy it not being iambic. LOL
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Ellen, thank you so very much :-) You got from the poem what lots of readers did. I swear I must be hopelessly optimistic because I thought ending with the final two stanzas made the message that the loss and bleakness are transitory and there are always new bubbles, always new flowers :-) Brooke
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As of late, I've not found the bubbles. Those of us who are at that point saw time fleeting. With a myriad of financial, health and family disasters, I'm trying to get back to the positive side of things. It takes time. A bit scabby and scarred, I trudge on.
I sound awfully dramatic. Don't I? Your voice gives me hope. That's why I read you.
Hugs, ellen
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Nice poem. Nice rhyming pattern. I liked the title of the poem a lot and my favorite lines were:
Children, raise your magic wands
as you skip among the grasses.
Make new bubbles break their bonds
till the gloom of loss soon passes.
Well done
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Nice poem. Nice rhyming pattern. I liked the title of the poem a lot and my favorite lines were:
Children, raise your magic wands
as you skip among the grasses.
Make new bubbles break their bonds
till the gloom of loss soon passes.
Well done
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014
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Chicysiski, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
