All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "It's Time"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
75 total reviews
Comment from ruby.sahay
Heartiest congratulations on the big win! A lovely poem conforming to the style and form. Excellent images of passion: wet lips, breathing deep, dark and folded valleys of the body, are just to name a few. I quite liked the way the poem flows down, from the white satin gown to the ankles and then into the soul...perfect display of passion without being raunchy, ribald at any stage. The images used are highly suggestive of deep love and the fire between the lovers. A much deserved win!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Heartiest congratulations on the big win! A lovely poem conforming to the style and form. Excellent images of passion: wet lips, breathing deep, dark and folded valleys of the body, are just to name a few. I quite liked the way the poem flows down, from the white satin gown to the ankles and then into the soul...perfect display of passion without being raunchy, ribald at any stage. The images used are highly suggestive of deep love and the fire between the lovers. A much deserved win!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Bless you, Ruby - I'm so glad you enjoyed this one - I loved writing it! A specially huge thank you, too, for your lovely SIX!!!! YEAH!!!
best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Gregory K Shipman
I can do no less than this (6) and would do more... much more. This is a union of skill, creativity and an ability to 'see' with a clarity that few possess...
This genius of sultry, soulful, sexy passionate noir is a thousand temptations, a thousand dreams, a thousand desires... it is a perfect blending with the jazz sounds, instruments changing places with instruments of lust and love... love and lust... and every tightened feeling in between...
A contest winner... oh yes
So much more... OH YES!
greg
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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I can do no less than this (6) and would do more... much more. This is a union of skill, creativity and an ability to 'see' with a clarity that few possess...
This genius of sultry, soulful, sexy passionate noir is a thousand temptations, a thousand dreams, a thousand desires... it is a perfect blending with the jazz sounds, instruments changing places with instruments of lust and love... love and lust... and every tightened feeling in between...
A contest winner... oh yes
So much more... OH YES!
greg
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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oh YEAH!!! I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THIS ONE!!! Your Jazz week must have planted something in my brain ... and I'm glad it did, because this was such a fun write ... sitting on a cliff top watching my sOn surf over Honolua Bay, scribbling away with pencil & paper... Bless you for your lovely six, too, my dear! (I wasn't fishing for it when I asked you to go read it - I just knew this one would vibe with you!) :))))))))Sharyn
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a beautiful piece of romantic poetry that takes time to describe various stages of intimacy and love making. The repetition of not yet is very effective. well done
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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This is a beautiful piece of romantic poetry that takes time to describe various stages of intimacy and love making. The repetition of not yet is very effective. well done
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx Perp!
Comment from c_lucas
The image and the poem goes together, hand in hand, to create a lustful desire. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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The image and the poem goes together, hand in hand, to create a lustful desire. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx Charlie!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Spitfire
Passionate! Hot, hot, hot. honeycomb down your white satin gown. Marvelous. It's feels as if your eyes are slowly undressing this woman. The repetitious "not yet" prolongs the ache of desire.
I'll play the dark and folded valleys of your body
and take you soaring over white-capped peaks of fire
What woman could resist that!
This poem steamed up my glasses. LOL
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Passionate! Hot, hot, hot. honeycomb down your white satin gown. Marvelous. It's feels as if your eyes are slowly undressing this woman. The repetitious "not yet" prolongs the ache of desire.
I'll play the dark and folded valleys of your body
and take you soaring over white-capped peaks of fire
What woman could resist that!
This poem steamed up my glasses. LOL
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Oh yum! Happy to steam up your glasses any day, Shari! Special huge thank you for the great SIX!!!!!
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Geez, you must have some hot sex life!
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I wish!!!
Comment from Gungalo
At last, you know,
your eyes meet mine and I expose
the music of my soul
for you and only you
I'll play the dark and folded valleys of your body
and take you soaring over white-capped peaks of fire
for tonight's sublime
and yes -
it's time
And yes I thought Bogey & Bacall but they told me to back off. LOL. Great write but big.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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At last, you know,
your eyes meet mine and I expose
the music of my soul
for you and only you
I'll play the dark and folded valleys of your body
and take you soaring over white-capped peaks of fire
for tonight's sublime
and yes -
it's time
And yes I thought Bogey & Bacall but they told me to back off. LOL. Great write but big.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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"Great wrote but big?"
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I meant that the write is huge.
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well hopefully that's a good thing ...
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Smile.
Comment from Dillinger
I'd say you followed the contest rules to the T. You portrayed passion, heat, colorful emotion, suspense....it was wonderful. And it absolutely speaks Bogey and Bacall.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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I'd say you followed the contest rules to the T. You portrayed passion, heat, colorful emotion, suspense....it was wonderful. And it absolutely speaks Bogey and Bacall.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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Thx so much Dillinger - as you can imagine, I had fun with this one! Blessings for your lovely '6', too! I'll "play it again" for you ...
Comment from GarthL
As a musician you've won me, it's time! Loved the sinful sax and the tawdry trumpet but the glowing clarinet did it! Your 'Passionate Love in Black and White' is sublime. Well crafted, very sensual, great imagery and soulful sounds. Thanks very much for the pleasure of reading your work.
Livelove'n'WriteOn! Garth
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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As a musician you've won me, it's time! Loved the sinful sax and the tawdry trumpet but the glowing clarinet did it! Your 'Passionate Love in Black and White' is sublime. Well crafted, very sensual, great imagery and soulful sounds. Thanks very much for the pleasure of reading your work.
Livelove'n'WriteOn! Garth
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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hey thanks Garth!
Comment from Cornelius2000
Nice job of skating between blatant and subtle, getting your point across with no question of what's going on. I might have switched instruments around, so that the sax player is the one who wins the lady, but I suppose that's a matter of personal preference. Nice job.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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Nice job of skating between blatant and subtle, getting your point across with no question of what's going on. I might have switched instruments around, so that the sax player is the one who wins the lady, but I suppose that's a matter of personal preference. Nice job.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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well - I'm a sucker for BOTH, Dave! just that the tawdry trumpet got there first!
Comment from McMurry903
Whew! This is so so good... I love the imagery here and can almost here the jazz music (which is something I absolutely love) I all the sudden have a craving for a martini as well. :) There's a lot of passion in this beautifully presented piece and I wish you the very best of luck! Brian :)
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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Whew! This is so so good... I love the imagery here and can almost here the jazz music (which is something I absolutely love) I all the sudden have a craving for a martini as well. :) There's a lot of passion in this beautifully presented piece and I wish you the very best of luck! Brian :)
Comment Written 10-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Brian - this was a fun write!
